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Marketing for Hippies

helping conscious, green and local businesses to grow

Ethics in Advertising

deeper into why

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It’s easy to feel alone in the world.

But it’s not pleasant.

And, the way we market our businesses can actually help heal that.

In his book Start With Why, which you should really go and buy from a locally owned bookstore, Simon Sinek shares a familar old story,

“Consider the story of two stonemasons, you walk up to the first mason and ask “Do you like your job?” He looks up at you and replies, “I’ve been building this wall for as long as I can remember. The work is monotonous. I work in the scorching hot sun all day. The stones are heavy and lifting them all day can be backbreaking. I’m not sure if this project will be completed in my lifetime. But it’s a job. It pays the bills.”

You thank him for his time and walk on.

About thirty feet away, you walk up to a second stone mason and ask him the same question. He looks up and replies “I love my job. I’m building a cathedral. Sure I’ve been working on this wall for as long as I can remember, and yes, the work is sometimes monotonous. I work in the scorching hot sun all day. The stones are heavy and lifting them day after day can be backbreaking. I’m not even sure if this project will be completed in my lifetime. But I’m building a cathedral.”

What these two stonemasons are doing is exactly the same; the difference is, one has a sense of purpose.

He feels like he belongs. He comes to work to be a part of something bigger than the job he’s doing. Simply having a sense of WHY changes his entire view of his job. It makes him more productive and certainly more loyal. Whereas the first stonemason would probably take another job for more pay, the inspired stonemason works longer hours and would probably turn down an easier higher paying job to styay and be a part of the higher cause.

The second stonemason does not see himself as any more or less important than the guy making the stained glass windows or even the architect. They are all working together to build a cathedral. It is this bond that creates camaraderie.  And that camaraderie and trust is what brings success. People working together for a common cause.”

Think of a non-profit and, hopefully, you can think of a larger cause that’s being addressed. But non-profits are not the only ones allowed to have a mission. Businesses can too. We all can.

It might be easy, at this point, to think that your ‘why’ must be something outside of you. Some larger cause or issue that you are joining.

And, that might be the case, but it’s worth exploring the often surprising personal connections we might have.

I’ve written a bit about how our deepest wounds are often our truest niche.

That you have likely gone through struggles in your own life and that these struggles have given you a keen empathy and insight into a certain emotional terrain. If you’ve struggled with something and come out the other side, there’s a really good chance you’ll be able to help others with that struggle to. If you’ve been on a certain journey, you can likely help others with that same journey.

But, if we step back, and remove it from the personal we can start to see how deeply and widely these wounds are shared.

Your most personal wound might not only be the wound you’re most able to help other individuals heal, it might be the collective wound in the world you’re addressing to.

I think most movements are started because of some wound. The loss of dignity, freedom, safety . . . and the desire to have it back. As we connect with our own story, we are more able to connect with the larger story.

The personal is political.

Those things which are most personal end up being most general.

It’s an amazing moment when you really, really get that you’re not alone in your struggles – and, in fact, that no one is alone. That there is a whole community and tribe of people struggling with the same issues. And, that when we boil to the essence of the struggle – it’s often something that everyone struggles with (e.g. love, optimism, self acceptance).

So, part of it is seeing our business as a part of a bigger story. And maybe the biggest story there is – the story of the healing of the world. As it’s called in the Jewish tradition – Tikkun Olam.

Most of us feel isolated and alone. And, deep down, we all crave to contribute some portion of beauty back to the world. Most of us crave to play some role in a story that is larger than ourselves. The warning in the Narcissus myth is not to not fall in love with ourselves. It’s to not fall in love with our reflection and miss the larger story. This culture promotes a profound self obsession. A ‘what about me?’ neurosis. And it’s just this neurosis that has us feel so alone. And the belief that we’re the only ones in Hell – is Hell.

There are two ways to live in the end. One is, ‘what’s in it for me?’ and, in the end, this is profoundly unsatisfying (no matter what kinds of privileges come with it). The other is, ‘how can we all get our needs met?’.

In the end, the only wealth there is is community. Each other.

the shady side of the road – by rabindranath tagore

I lived on the shady side of the road
and watched my neighbours’ gardens
across the way
revelling in the sunshine.

I felt I was poor,
and from door
to door
went with my hunger.

The more they gave me
from their careless abundance
the more I became aware
of my beggar’s bowl.

Till one morning
I awoke from my sleep
at the sudden opening of my door,
and you came and asked for alms.

In despair I broke the lid of my chest open
and was startled into finding my own wealth.

Caitlin Matthews, Celtic scholar and author, poses the question like this:

“How can the soul or the world be re-enchanted once it is lost the enchantment? Only by returning to the story of the soul and retelling it up to the point of fracture; only by placing our story within the context of the greater song.

She tells that when Merlin is exposed to the terrible carnage of the battle of Arfderwydd “he becomes mad an runs into the depths of the forest. Within the forest’s embrace, he becomes one with the trees and seasons and puts aside the terrible sights he has seen to focus upon the gifts of the wild world, becoming rusticated and “uncivilized.”

Ever pertinent and prophetic, he sees through the pretexts and pretensions of those who come to lure him back to civilization with the sure instinct of an animal,”

He does not respond to anyone except his friend, the Welsh poet, Taliesin who comes to sit with him. Only then “does Merlin respond, asking the odd question, “why do we have weather?” This seemingly trivial query is all that Taliesin needs to help his friend. He begins to recite the creation of the world. At the end of Taliesin’s recital, Merlin is restored as the sacred context of his story is given back to them.”

What does this all have to do with marketing?

Our business can feed on people’s insecurities or it can invite them into a larger story.

It’s powerful for people when they find a home.

When they find a community of people who think like them, see the world the same way, have gone through the same struggle and are about the same things. It’s incredible to find a community that has a shared point of view and sense of ‘why’ about their lives.

And you can make your business into that. A home. A sanctuary. A place where people connect not only with you but with each other. Our businesses can become hubs that actually foster, tighten and deepen community.

You need to build a hub around a platform – some strong center that can hold it – and there are four things that can be.

You can see some examples of hubs built around a point of view here and ones built around a strong ‘why’ here.

As David Korten puts it, “we can’t just talk these things to death. We need to live them into being.”

You can become a voice of hope and clarity in challenging times inviting people not to become lost in their individual struggles – but to see themselves as a part of a larger story. You can help them move their focus from their lonely troubles to shared solutions we can all work towards. We can startle them with their own wealth.

When your community looks into the mirror that reflects the current world’s woes and feel such despair and overwhelm from it – we wave our hands and the mirror becomes a window through which they can see what’s possible. And, with another wave, that window becomes a door and we invite them through.

Let’s keep reminding people what it’s really about.

 

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guest blog: scarcity in marketing – why marketers use it. how it hurts us.

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by Lynn Serafinn

 

Earlier this week, I sent a note to my Facebook friends asking the question, “Where have YOU seen scarcity used in marketing, and how do you think it affects us?” Within a few hours, I received a LONG list of responses, with people citing everything from children’s toys, to oil, to computers, to supplies for anticipated emergencies or crises (if you’re my FB friend, come join us and share your view at http://tiny.ly/pDyF). Clearly, people had a lot to say about this hot topic.

The use of scarcity in marketing has long been acknowledged.

Everywhere I look, I see marketing mentors tell their mentees to use scarcity as a tool to close the deal and make the sale. And the sad thing about this is that it WORKS. But at what cost to our lives, our health, our communities, our economy and our planet does it do so?

From research I have done, I have come to see that every living being has an autonomic and unconscious response to scarcity. One example I give in my upcoming book The 7 Graces of Marketing is research I uncovered about the Great Dutch Famine of the 1940s, where thousands of people were starving to death due to a complexity of political issues. Many studies have been done on the impact of the scarcity of food upon both the people who lived through those times, as well as the babies who were conceived during those lean years.

One of the most fascinating findings is that the babies who were conceived during those times of famine were born underweight, but then went on to develop physiques that were markedly OVERWEIGHT throughout the rest of their lives, due to their bodies’ being conditioned to hold onto fat reserves in response to starvation in utero. Anyone who has be a yo-yo dieter has probably also experienced the same phenomenon.

Scarcity gets into our very genes. We humans are hard-wired to respond to scarcity, at a physical, emotional and mental level. Marketers have long known this, and they use it to their advantage.

The most obvious form of scarcity in marketing is the perception of limited supply or availability. We are exposed to this kind of scarcity marketing from a very early age. One person in our Facebook discussion cited an example of when her young daughter saw an advert for a cookie-baking set and said, “Mom, I have to buy now! They only have 12 left!” Another cited the example of cabbage patch dolls. From Playstations to Harry Potter books, we’ve all seen this kind of scarcity marketing. It makes us panic, rush and buy, fearing we’ll “lose out.”

The use of deadlines in marketing is another form of scarcity. This particular breed is rife in Internet marketing and is taught by just about every Internet marketing guru on the planet. How many times have we heard, “Buy within the next hour before the price goes up!” I’m not saying it’s “wrong” to set sort of “end” to (hence a deadline) to a campaign; we cannot operate a marketing campaign without a clear timeframe. But when deadlines are used intentionally as a means to create excessive anxiety in our clients and customers to convince them to act before they have had a chance to make an informed decision, we might make the sale, but what are we contributing to the health, wellbeing, empowerment and happiness of our customers (and ourselves)?

But scarcity operates at even more subtle levels in marketing. In order to feel we’re going to “lose out” we first have to feel the need. In order for a person to want to buy products they don’t actually need, marketers first have to create the need, and then tell you that the only way to fill that need is to buy their product. If you look deeply enough, you will see that the unconscious message is that you are inadequate or incomplete without such-and-such product.

When we are young, it’s all about needing a product to give us fun and popularity. When we are adults, it’s all about sexual and social worth “Because you’re worth it” is actually saying “If you don’t spend the extra money on this product, you’re not really worth much.” The real underlying story of “scarcity” is where marketers tell you in one way or another that you are not enough without their product. If you add into the mix the anxiety that the product that will make us feel like we are “enough” is not going to be available to us for much longer, we have a marketing recipe that influences us to “buy now”, no matter what.

Scarcity marketing is one of the cornerstones of “old school” marketing, primarily because it WORKS. There is no question that it motivates people to act fast. But with the rise of social media, a new era of conscious marketers is emerging where our influence is now felt on a global level. In response to this fundamental change in our society, we simple MUST ask ourselves:

“In the bigger picture, and at a holistic level, is scarcity REALLY working?

We might be making the sale, but what are we REALLY creating?”

It is my belief that by using scarcity as a fundamental motivator in our marketing, we are really creating:

• stress
• fear
• mistrust
• overspending
• overconsumption
• waste
• debt
• massive environmental imbalances

The irony of scarcity is that when we see the world through the eyes of scarcity we extract, create, consume, hoard or pillage more than we actually need, and we begin to create a self-fulfilling prophecy of actual scarcity on our planet.

In my view, the natural antidote is “Abundance”, which I define as “a fundamental belief that there is enough.” Enough to go around, enough of me, enough of you, enough. When we embrace a fundamental belief that the Universe has provided us with enough, abundance also becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because we act according to the balance and natural flow of the rhythm of the Universe instead of against it.

The topic of “Scarcity versus Abundance” is a massive subject that I discuss in great detail in The 7 Graces of Marketing: how to heal humanity and the planet by changing the way we sell (coming December 2011), and will be elaborating upon in upcoming blog posts, along with the other “deadly sins” and “graces” of marketing presented in the book.

I hope this short introduction has given you some food for thought and that you’ll keep your eye out for future articles. Please share your thoughts and responses in the comments below. I look forward to reading them!

Also, do subscribe this new 7 Graces of Marketing Blog, which will be rolling out articles and videos on these topics this summer. Just enter your name and email in the form on this page to receive them.

Lynn Serafinn is bestselling author, marketer, coach, speaker, radio host and promotional manager for a long list of #1 selling mind-body-spirit authors. In her work, she has witnessed both the conscious and unconscious mechanics of marketing that threaten our society and our very planet. In her book The 7 Graces of Marketing: how to heal humanity and the planet by changing the way we sell (Humanity 1 Press, Dec 2011), she reveals how modern marketing has played a hand in the the rise of consumer culture, negatively impacting our health, happiness, economy and natural world in an unparalleled way, and offers us hope via a new paradigm she calls “The 7 Graces of Marketing.” Subscribe to this blog to keep on top of how you can help change the world through 7 Graces thinking. Author, marketing and radio show enquiries, please send via http://spiritauthors.com/contact.

 

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the client love connection

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I was just interviewed via video by Rebecca Cowan (pictured here) for her new program The Client Love Connection.

We had such a lovely conversation. I made some pretty impressive drawing on my white board for her. We seemed to resonate a lot on our concerns about the marketing world. So I asked her to write me a blog post about her experiences in the marketing world.

I bet you can relate to it.

I remember when I first wanted to be in business for myself, my boyfriend at the time had called me a capitalist and broke up with me over it!

He thought, like lots of people, that business is bad and the evil corporations are ruining the world. It’s actually a pretty common stigma. And with some of the business strategies I learned when I started my first business as a very “woo-woo” hypnotherapist, I don’t blame them!

For me, it wasn’t about world domination or making so much money that I could buy my own country. I wanted to heal people! I had the goal to make the world happier by making people healthier.

Noble cause, right?

But the part that was hardest was the marketing and the business strategies I was told I had to use to be successful.

I wanted to hide away most days when I thought about the kinds of things I had to do to promote my business. I thought there must be something wrong with me that I didn’t want to use them.

I had learned how to have sales conversations, how to sell from stage, and lots and lots of internet marketing strategies: creating products, writing sales letters, using Facebook and Twitter to fill my events.

Even though I had all this knowledge, I didn’t like who I had to be to use it.

Most of the marketing I had learned was based on…

    •    Competition!

    •    Pushing or bullying other people into buying your products or services by keeping up the appearance of an authority or perfection.

    •    Using a “magic” set of words or a formula for marketing that feels like you’ve just tricked them into being your client.

    •    Preying on human psychological needs for acceptance or love and extorting that need for profit.

    •    Drawing in clients with big promises, whether you can fulfill them or not or puffing up your “perceived value” to seem more attractive.

    •    Attracting lots of clients whether they are right for your business or not.

    •    Being someone you’re not…

And the strange part was that I was taught lots of my business methods from other spiritual, heart-based entrepreneurs! The old models of marketing are still thick even amongst well-meaning

When I changed my business and found an alignment with teaching entrepreneurs about making marketing videos, I discovered that I didn’t want to teach my clients the same marketing tactics that I’d learned. I wanted them nowhere near my business!

I wanted to teach my clients how to connect with potential clients through video and give them permission to express their true selves on film and actually do more business because of it! I wanted my clients to feel safe doing business and find those perfect clients that were waiting for them.

I feel that there is a lot of healing that can be done in business. So when I decided to create The Client Love Connection Online Marketing Experience I wanted to gather other entrepreneurs who were teaching marketing in a new way.

I sought out marketing experts that were teaching collaboration, honesty, freedom of expression, and client attraction in a way that would make entrepreneurs embrace marketing. I want to allow client and entrepreneur to connect on a human level and make the decision to work together because it’s the right match, not because you’ve used a marketing trick that you didn’t like using in the first place.  

Our businesses all have a light filled message and purpose for the world. Your marketing should reflect that as well. If marketing hasn’t felt very good and you’ve found yourself avoiding it, that’s fine! It’s normal. It’s time that marketing fit your business instead of changing yourself to fit marketing that you don’t like in the first place

The Client Love Connection Online Marketing Experience is an online VIDEO summit of 18 interviews with the experts in client attraction and connection. This event will change how you feel about marketing and bring you new tools for growing your business that feel like the natural fit for the good-hearted person that you are.

If this message has hit home with you, then I hope you can join us and I really look forward to connecting with you.

Love,
Rebecca Cowan
Client Love Connection Creator
And Marketing Video Master

 

If you’d like get cool posts like this in your inbox every few days CLICK HERE to subscribe to my blog and you’ll also get a free copy of my fancy new ebook “Marketing for Hippies” when it’s done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

guest blog: Grandmother, What Big Teeth You Have – The Dark Side of New Age Prosperity Marketing

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by Rachael Pruitt

Where was my street-wise inner child when I needed her?

Perhaps you’re a little like me: a dreamer, not particularly great with money.  A little insecure about the big-wide-world, no matter that your hair has started to turn grey. Perhaps you too are determined to live the dream of the new life that calls to you.  A life that matters, that allows you to succeed both financially & spiritually.  A life that allows you to be of service, yet to be creative, joyful, and rich—all at the same time.

Heady stuff for an old hippie, a social service type who writes novels until midnight & slurps coffee on a blurry-eyed 6 am commute.

Sound a little like you?

This year is it, I decided. No more spiritual starvation.  The stars were whispering at me to go for it, the planets were in alignment.  I knew if I didn’t at least try to “manifest” my own consulting & teaching business now–this very moment–a crucial chance would have passed me by. A chance that might never come again.

So, primed, ready-to-take-action, I plunged into the thundering waters of New Age telesummits like a deranged surfer.  I knew I needed help—I’d never run my own business before.

Where better to look than among those who shared my idealistic, change-the-world-for-the-better values?

Suddenly my surfer persona morphed into a small town girl in a 1940s musical seeing the lights of Broadway for the first time.  Pushing sign-up button after sign-up button, I encountered marques after marques. Lights flashing, glitzy and marvelous, the various telesummit promotors all but puddled neon in a romantic flashing puddle at my feet.

“You too can turn your dreams into a SIX FIGURE BUSINESS, BECOME A SEX GODDESS, AND SERVE THE WORLD AT THE SAME TIME!!!!”   they shouted.

“DON’T LET FEAR & TREMBLING BLOCK YOUR SUCCES.”  they warned.

“WHY YOUR CLIENTS WILL THANK YOU FOR  OVERCHARGING THEM:

PUT THE  NEW ABUNDANCE PARADYM TO WORK FOR YOUR SUCCESS” ,   they chortled, winking as if we shared a private joke.

Now, six months later & several hundred dollars lighter, I wince when I look back over old emails and witness what a trusting little starry-eyed duckling I was.

I am writing this blog first as a cautionary tale to others like me—and this includes anyone who has ever dreamed big and turned to someone else to help them make the fairy dust sparkle at noon as well as in the depths of a private oh-so-silent night.

Secondly, I’m also writing to acknowledge the true visionaries among us. Yes, they do exist: those rare wisdom-keepers whose calm, non-hysterical voices are currently all but drowned-out in the influx of high-ticket life coaches and frenetic so-called miracle-workers who essentially prey on our human vulnerabilities, yearnings, and fears to make lots—and lots and lots–of money delivering New Age clichés and not much else.

I do not perceive myself as a victim, but I am legitimately angry at opportunists who masquerade as healers and have pirated the terminology of idealistic thinkers and visionaries strictly for their own gain.  I also believe it is our responsibility as seekers, to be more skeptical about whom we give our money to.  Yet, for some reason–and I suspect I am not alone in this—the fact that an individual appears under the guise of a New Age telesummit/Spiritual Entrepreneur heading, makes me more likely to trust them.

Embarrassed as I am to admit it, I spent more time and energy investigating the ingredients of my groceries than I did on the qualifications and references of someone I was entrusting my life’s dreams to.  Even after I thought I had learned my lesson, and investigated a second individual more thoroughly, it still took an email foul-up and a potential coach’s short temper to expose a particularly nasty shadow lurking just beneath a polished oh-so-radiant surface.  Fortunately, no contracts had yet been signed.

If It’s Glitzy but Smells Fishy, Don’t Go There

So, here are some guidelines I’ve developed to help separate sincere and talented healers (yes, indeed, they do exist!) from the predators:

•     Everybody needs to make a living—legitimate coaches and teachers as well. This is a given.  Yet is the coach or teacher you are considering seemingly incapable of giving you a straight answer when you request a bottom line financial quote?

Do you hear statements like:

A) “Your decision to work with me shouldn’t be based on the money it will cost.  That’s your old ‘scarcity-thinking’ talking.” (I almost fell for that one.  But isn’t it just a little deceptive to be preaching abundance-consciousness on one hand and not be proudly trumpeting your fees on the other?!)  Or the classic:

B) “Think about what it’s costing you to not sign up for my program.”

These are both ancient sales techniques—reel the fish in with lots of promises before you sock it to them with the actual cost.  And—of course—the actual cost is astronomical.

•    Is there an implied “threat”? For example: “If you don’t work with me, you will continue to be a total screw-up.” or “If you can’t get past your “blocks to abundance” now, you never will.”

All these responses imply that this individual is the only one who can help you, that you, yourself are clueless—and—of course–that time is of the essence, it is ticking away as we speak.

Again, these are old sales chestnuts: 1) the indispensible item 2) limited time offers 3) appealing to someone’s sense of need or desperation.

Every one of these are also fear-based strategies, that should, by rights, have no place on a New Age telesummit.  But, of course, in reality they are more prevalent than hornets in August.

•    Piggy-backing on this category is the specific implication that you are not capable of doing any of this by yourself.  Thus, you must hire and work with this individual or you will continue to waste away in a self-imposed prison of befuddlement and poverty.

Ironic again, as healthy self-esteem is supposed to be a cornerstone of the new potential movement.  One would think—naively–that personal disempowerment is not an optimum condition.  But it does help sales.

Additional Note: A final component of this disempowering “you really need me or you will continue to be a miserable life form barely existing on the planet” approach is the patronizing sigh.  Even if you cannot hear it, it exists in the tenor of emails or the tone of a telephone voice: “Well, if you really think you can do it on your own—“
(Translation: “I’m here for you if you are willing to cough up a few more thousand dollars. Otherwise you’ll be a total failure.  What a shame….”)

•    Last, but not least: Carefully investigate websites and references. This is still no guarantee that your potential spiritual mentor is totally legitimate—but if references and website links (especially online article links and personal contact information for references) are non-existent or inaccessible, proceed with extreme care.  No matter how nice or charming an individual is, if they can’t cough up legitimate references or if their website harbors only fluff and non-existent background links, be wary.

Also, be skeptical of anyone who asks you for an immediate down payment, before you have even had time to think about their “package”—let alone process your decision based on real information.

The Good Stuff

All this said, it has been my pleasure to connect with some 1) amazing visionaries 2) coaches who truly do make your life richer 3) money and spiritual experts who really do offer unique, practical, and inspiring insights.  These women and men have enriched my life and inspired my heart.

But, as with all things, don’t just take my word for it.  Investigate for yourself.

Nor is this list exhaustive.  There are lots of good folks out there–the trick is finding them amidst the “prosperity hysteria”.

One key thing the leaders mentioned below share is that they do not charge an arm, leg, head, and/or reproductive organs to connect with them.  A few of the following coaches are expensive, however, they continually offer freebies, books, CDs, video presentations and other low-cost materials available from their websites that allow you to utilize their techniques without spending thousands of dollars.

A second common thread I’ve found true with all of the following people is that they do not believe you are a nitwit. Far from implying or insisting that you are useless without them, these leaders simply offer techniques which allow you to trust yourself & to explore Spirit in a straightforward, non-frenzied way.

Visionaries and Life Coaches:

•    Michael Beckwith and the Agape Community.  Dr. Beckwith’s online community is based in real-world California.  He not only is one of the most inspiring speakers I have ever heard, his community is actively making a lot of people’s lives better.  Check it out.

•    Mary A. Hall’s Abundance Alive website.  For a small monthly fee, Mary offers fantastic coaching & counseling opportunities.  Her goodies are too numerous to list.  See for yourself.

•    Cheryl Richardson.  A personal coach with true integrity and pizazz, Cheryl deserves all the accolades she receives as one of the best international coaches available.  She appears regularly on Hay House radio and is a prolific author with a great website & free newsletter.

•    Lisa Michaels.  Lisa’s coaching process, “Natural Rhythms”, is wonderful; a spiritually unique approach.  She combines it with Shamanic Astrology, giving the people she coaches even more bang for their buck. Her website is chockful of goodies and a wonderful newsletter.

Spiritual & Prosperity Divas

All three of the following women stand out to me as creative groundbreakers, thinkers, and writers who are not just following a sales script.  They also know how to make this spiritual growth stuff “fun” through humor, dance, mythic work, and engaging personalities.  Any time I have ever spent with them either in person or with their materials has been priceless.

•    Morgana Rae.  Morgana is very open about charging big bucks if you can afford her as a personal coach.  However, she is very gracious about deliberately offering much of what she has put together in a low-cost workbook and/or CDs.  This lady is clever, committed, sweet, and down-to-earth with a unique approach to breaking through money issues.

•    Colette Baron-Reid. Colette is an intuitive counselor and coach, a prolific author, and has designed two beautiful decks of oracle cards.  Although her individual readings are indeed pricey, many of her workshops are comparatively inexpensive and her new book The Map is brilliant.

•    Sonia Choquette. Sonia is also an intuitive counselor who describes herself as a “catalyst”.  Again, her individual readings are expensive, but she offers several low-cost workshops a year and her books and CDs—especially Your Heart’s Desire and Ask Your Guides– are wonderful resources.

Woo Woo and Proud

•    Patrica Cota Robles:  This lady makes me see angels.

•    Doreen Virtue: This lady invites me to tea parties with them—and she even knows a few fairies to invite as well.

•    Kelly Hampton: This lady channels Archangel Michael—and I am convinced that it is him indeed. (Did you know he has a sense of humor?) Readings and healings with this dynamic duo are also very reasonably priced given the quality of what they offer.

•    Jennifer McLean’s telesummits.  Even though I personally don’t “resonate” with everyone Jennifer invites, the vast majority of her interviewees are truly the cream of the New Age crop and not to be missed.

And, of course, uncategorized—free and fun—our host, Tad Hargrave!

Conclusion

Namaste, reader.  Like me, perhaps you are sometimes weary of seeking and building a life of meaning in a chaotic and seemingly superficial world. I wish you all a truly healing, abundant, generous, and transformative life. Your happiness is well-worth the effort: as is mine.  May all your dreams come true—with or without telesummits!

 

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Parenting and Marketing and Entitlement, Oh My!

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What does parenting have to do with marketing?

More than you’d think.

Recently, I was chatting with Calgary parenting coach Lisa Kathleen (pictured right) and we got to chatting about our frustrations with the big bad world of marketing. And we struck on the ethical topic of ‘entitlement’. I see it a lot in marketing (and I think it’s dangerous) and she sees it a lot in parenting (and she thinks it’s dangerous). I asked her if she’d be willing to write something about that. And she did! It follows below.

 

I recently sent a question to my favourite marketing man, Tad Hargrave of Marketing for Hippies.  Marketing fascinates me, because it is such a force in our culture, because it powerfully affects our children, and because I am committed to being in integrity in everything I do in my business.  Being in integrity in marketing always felt hard to me, until I met Tad.

A little while ago, I was thinking a lot about something I hear lots of business-y marketing gurus say.  It’s the phrase “…so you can make the money that YOU DESERVE…” (which generally seems to mean gazillions, or preferably more).  Every time I hear this phrase, I feel uncomfortable.  So I popped off an email to Tad, asking if I’m just underestimating my own value (gazillions?  Little Old Moi?), or if there was truly something amiss here.  And we started a short exchange about value and entitlement.  And, lo and behold, it turns out we share the same ideas with our different audiences, marketing people and parent people.

I love to say, “we’re all doing the same work”, and here is another beautiful example.  So, here’s where the thoughts overlap…

There’s a beautiful thing happening in the world today – many parents are deeply aware of their children’s needs and are totally committed to respectfully meeting those needs.  And here’s what I see happening with so many of the parents I work with.  They are so committed to meeting those needs, and respecting their children, that they get mixed up in two areas.  First, they forget that they (the parents) have needs, too.  Second, they forget that there is a huge difference between needs and wants.

Parents come to me saying, “We want to meet their needs, but we’re starting to feel like doormats, and we don’t know what to do.”

When we consistently meet our children’s wants as if they are needs, children develop a sense of entitlement.  Instead, we can help our children to develop awareness of which requests are needs and which are wants, which develops children who are resilient.  They learn that when they DON’T get the balloon they want, they are okay.  They learn that when it’s time to go and they don’t want to go AND they go anyway, they are okay.

Now, I am not advocating that we deny our children all their wants!  Just that we weigh those wants against all the needs that are involved.  If your child wants to stay at the party, but is overtired, and you know from experience that your child will not enjoy the next day if you don’t head home right away, your child’s need to sleep may trump his want to stay.  Further, if the party hosts are yawning and heading to bed, their need to sleep may trump your child’s want to stay.  Further, if you are dreading the thought of spending a day with your overtired child, your want to enjoy the next day comes into play as well.

So that’s what’s happening in parenting.

And here’s what’s happening in our marketplace.  The idea that we DESERVE to make gazillions of dollars is a warping of the line between needs and wants.  Businesspeople and corporations don’t deserve to make millions.  Even doing wonderful, holistic, meaningful, and profound work in the world does not mean that you deserve to be a gazillionnaire.

Additionally, the “you deserve” message that a lot of marketing sends out further warps this line.  We in North America, particularly, have the idea that we deserve bigger houses than we can easily afford, a nicer car than we can pay for upfront, and every new gadget that comes onto the market.  Our sense of entitlement (coupled with systems that don’t help at all) drives us deeper into debt, and further away from our natural ability to separate needs from wants.  This culture, that meets our wants as if they are needs, breeds the same sense of entitlement that children can develop under the same circumstances.  Interesting, huh?

I think this warp is also evidenced by the fact that we in North America live in a culture of incredible abundance, are overweight, and still think we have to force our kids to eat.  Our relationship to our most basic needs is all messed up.

So, I joyously let go of the idea that I somehow deserve to be a gazillionnaire.  That’s a relief!  I realize instead that the resources needed for me to do the work I do that the world needs, will probably be available when I want them.

And here’s the beauty of all of this.  In marketing, and in parenting, the first questions are the same.  “What do I need?”  “What do you need?” and “What does the world need?”   The ultimate question is always, “Considering all these needs, what can we do that works for everyone involved?”  Rather than feeling a sense of entitlement, I am, instead, awed by the responsibility that I personally have to juggle all these needs, in my home and in my business.  That responsibility sits lightly and naturally on my shoulders, but the sense of entitlement was a heavy burden.

For more info on Lisa Kathleen’s Parenting Coaching just go to her site:

http://fullcircleparenting.com/

 

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ever been to a ‘gross’ workshop – share your story!

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“How do we run workshops that sustain us financially – without selling out soul?“

That’s a question that’s been on my mind a lot lately.

So, I’ve been in the seminar industry since I was in high school.

It started out with working for a franchise of Anthony Robbins and Associates, then leading workshops across Alberta for high school students and eventually into the marketing work.

And I’ve noticed a trend in the workshop industry that feels kind of ‘gross’.

I’m curious if you’ve experienced the same thing . . . but I hear this a lot.

There’s the evening intro – which ends up just being a pitch for a higher level weekend or coaching program. And, it’s not that I take issue with them having more they offer – but there’s something about the way it’s pitched and offered at the end that feels off.

The three big critiques I keep hearing of the workshop industry:

1) They Are Over Hyped: These intros are sometimes sold as ‘the complete solution’ when they’re just a teaser. So people feel ‘tricked’ and mislead.

2) Contrived Facilitation Style: The facilitation style is very, in my experience, contrived. “Raise your hand if you want to make more money!” They’re not actually curious – they just want to get your responding and compliant.

3) Huge, High Pressure Pitch at the End: You know the one. The ‘only 27 seats left in our upcoming workshop where you’ll learn the REAL secrets! Run to the back of the room and sign up now and we’ll slash the price 3 times with different coloured markers.’

Here’s what i want to invite from you:

Can you share a story of a workshop you attended that felt gross? Let’s leave out names (we’re here to learn not bash).

 

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Life lessons from an ad man

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A very fascinating conversation about the impact of perception in creating change in the world.

Advertising adds value to a product by changing our perception, rather than the product itself. Rory Sutherland makes the daring assertion that a change in perceived value can be just as satisfying as what we consider “real” value — and his conclusion has interesting consequences for how we look at life.

About Rory Sutherland

Rory Sutherland stands at the center of an advertising revolution in brand identities, designing cutting-edge, interactive campaigns that blur the line between ad and entertainment.

To watch the video CLICK HERE or watch below.

 

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What do you think?

you don’t sell to a community. you support a community.

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As many of you know, I spend a lot of time thinking about this notion of ‘becoming a hub‘ as a business.

And something about it has always felt . . . dangerous.

Or . . . a little ‘off’ or ‘inauthentic’. Or at least like there was the potential to be. And this post I just read from Dan Blank nails a lot of my concerns.

In fact, I’d like to coin a term: community-washing. Let’s add it to ‘green washing’, ‘local washing’ and a term I think I coined ‘good washing’.

For me, community washing is where the rhetoric is all about community – but the reality is about marketshare. It’s where the conversation around ‘building community’ is disingenuous because the primary driver is about turning the community into customers. I wonder if a driver behind community washing is that we’re really uncomfortable talking about business and money directly so we couch it in feel good terms.

I am seeing more and more businesses get on this train. It can be called building community or ‘growing your tribe’ and talked about in the hippiest of terms. And yet – I find myself wondering if we’re being real about what we’re doing (and why we’re doing it).

The irony is – these feel good terms can make it feel ten times as gross if it’s not authentic.

Here’s what Dan has to say . . .

Companies now realize that there is business value in social media. That it is worth an investment of their time and resources, that it can bring them closer to those in their market, and can be a powerful marketing platform.

But there is one term that us being thrown around a bit too casually: community.

Suddenly, every company is “developing” a community online, or engaging an existing community, at least in their marketing plans. But a crowd isn’t a community. A market is not a community.

To Keep Reading Click Here

 

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Share a story about ‘gross marketing’ . . .

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Sometimes marketing can be inspiring.

Other times it can leave us feeling really, really horrible.

And I want to invite you to share you stories of when it’s felt really awful.

Why?

Because I’m working on a book (working title: ‘Marketing for Hippies’) and sometimes the best way to help explain the difference between conscious and unconscious marketing is through stories.

In a few weeks, I’ll be inviting you to share stories of the most inspiring and uplifting marketing you’ve ever experienced – but let’s start here.

My story:

Speaking for myself, I can say that I’ve been on the receiving and giving end of this.

STORY #1: A bit about my sortid past – early in my career (like almost 20 years ago), I worked for a well known personal growth company. I would follow up with leads and try to sell them into the seminars. I was taught to put myself into a peak state and be absolutely certain that our programs could help them.

I was never told to use high-pressure tactics – but if you come from the place of absolute certainty ‘what i’m offering can help everyone’ and your objective is to get them to ‘say yes’ – well, that’s where pressure comes from. I hadn’t figured out that getting them to say ‘yes’ wasn’t the real goal in a conversation like that.

I remember one call, blindly trying to ‘close’ someone. I kept asking for some info from him (perhaps his credit card number? I can’t recall) and when he’d say ‘no’ I would just change the topic and then ask for it again, directly, in a few minutes. In the end, he was laughing at the absurdity of it. He couldn’t believe that I couldn’t accept him saying ‘no’.

It was ridiculous.

It was pushy and gross.

LESSON: Graciousness. The importance of really being okay with ‘no’ and being able to let go and bless and release when it isn’t a fit, or isn’t working vs. holding on and pushing harder.

STORY #2: Another time, I was speaking with someone and trying to convince him that our new three hour program would absolutely change his life. We must have spent 45 minutes on the phone. He’d attended the same event a year or so previous and it hadn’t lived up to the hype on it. I was basically inviting him back to the same event. But we’d renamed it and changed it mildly. He ended up coming – of course it didn’t change his life and he was disappointed and I felt so empty and terrible for my lack of integrity.

Because I hadn’t really believed it would for sure change his life. In fact, I figured he was probably right – but it meant money for me and it also meant that I’d get the approval of my bosses for convincing someone to come and ‘getting past their objections’.

I didn’t sleep well in those days.

LESSON: Integrity. I didn’t really believe in what I was selling. And when I am selling something I don’t believe in I might temporarily meet my need for security (via money) but I sell out my integrity. And that not only feels painful for me but makes me a terrible guide for others. When I stay in my integrity I can genuinely become a trusted advisor – because I’m really being trustworthy.

STORY #3: I go to a smoothie shop and ask them if they can put the smoothie into my Nalgene container. They say they can’t due to hygiene reasons. But, they offer, I could buy one of their reusable mugs.

I tell them this makes no sense and is obviously a blatant upsell.

She’s very apologetic and I assure her I’m not personally upset with her but that I think the policy is ridiculous. It made me feel like I was being lied to right to my face and given a bullshit rationale for them wanting to sell their mugs. It was done under the guise of ‘it’s better for the environment’ but that really wasn’t their primary concern. They didn’t actually care about the cleanliness of the mug – they cared about making money – and they weren’t honest about that.

I clearly didn’t need a mug – but they tried to sell it to me anyway. I wrote the company and they ended up stopping that policy. I’m sure many others wrote in too.

LESSON: Be honest about your motivations. People know you have selfish motives. You need to get your needs met. And that’s okay. But don’t ever lie about why you’re making an offer – or why you have a certain policy. If she’d said, “You know what – we don’t pour our drinks into other people’s reusable containers because we’ve got our own we’re trying to sell.” I would have been appalled and thought it was a stupid policy and not in alignment with their values – but I wouldn’t have felt lied to. I might even have respected the forthrightness of it at a certain level.

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So, those are some examples of stories from me: I’d love to hear your stories.

It can be a story of something you did that felt out of integrity and what happened – or it could be something you experienced. It might have been super gross – or maybe just felt a little ‘off’.

Criteria for the stories:

1) let’s keep names out of it – we’re not here to bash anyone.

2) details! the more details the better – help us understand exactly what it was that had it feel so ‘off’ for you.

3) please make sure you share how it felt for you. what was your experience in the moment.

4) what lesson did you take from it about ‘conscious marketing’?

Please leave your stories below in the comments . . .

 

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