building a community with love letters

010Love Letters building a community with love lettersWhile in Toronto, I met a woman named Chris Kay Fraser and she told me about her project where she was inviting people to send in love letters of all sorts.

And she’s having a love letter contest that ends this week.

You may have heard about Post Secret – the project where people were invited to send in their anonymous secrets on post cards. It started small, but word spread and now it’s grown an entire community of people fascinated with and touched by the sharing of very real and vulnerable secrets.

Well, Chris has started a similar community around Love Letters. This is a great example of becoming a hub. Sometimes, in the beginning, you do the work for free to build up the community and later you find ways that it can also feed and sustain you.

I asked Chris to send me the story of how it started, what the response had been and where it was going and here’s what she had to say . . .

Here, as promised, is the link to the love letter project.

http://www.fireflycreativewriting.com/love-letters

Of course, any help promoting it would be beautiful! It’s a 100% not-for-money-just-for-the-love-of-it thang.

Love letters love letters love letters. Here we go…

The love letter project started around a campfire. It was late at night, my birthday, the last beautiful weekend of the summer. A group of close girlfriends and I started talking about letters — the big letters of our lives — the ones we’d received from lovers, the ones we’d written but never mailed, the ones we kept in our bedstands, the ones we threw out and then regretted it. We talked about the ones we’d sent each other over the years.

All of a sudden, I realized — this is everything I care about. I’ve been teaching small, cozy writing workshops for years, helping people put what’s inside outside. I am constantly working towards creating nourishing, inspiring spaces for people to recognize the power of their own words. These letters, it seemed, held that power, undiluted.

It grew from there. Over pancakes the next morning, I asked the girls if they thought it would work to run a workshop in love letters. They loved the idea, and we discussed what elements the workshop would need, and how I’d have to make it safe. Soon, it became an e-class, and then a contest.

The response has been stunning! Right now, I’ve run three out of four packed-out love letter writing workshops, which I put on for free as a gift to my community. I’ve received dozens of love letters from around the world. I’ve also appointed a jury, from some of my most committed students, to judge the contest. Everyone from my mail-man to a 19-year-old girl in New Zealand have entered.

The ripple effects are perhaps the most beautiful part. I’m often hearing from people who find themselves writing letters they never thought they’d write, and then sharing them. One woman told me that she had used her husband’s computer to scan in a love letter she’d written to herself. Late that night, he found it and read it, and he was so touched that he wrote her another love letter, which she found tucked into her laptop when she got up.

You can read many of the letters that have come in, and some words about the jury, on my website, www.fireflycreativewriting.com/love-letters.

I’m not sure what the full scope of this project could be. Already it’s grown further than I’d imagined. January 1st I’ll be launching an e-class on love letter writing, walking participants through the penning of six new love letters. We’ll write to our lovers (past, present, or imagined), our friends, our long-lost’s, our vexations, our favorite places, ourselves. It will be a warm and colorful call to get our hearts on paper, in all their mysteries and layers.

I’d also like to organize a public reading with my contest winners, or at least the local ones! And, I’m dreaming of a “Love Letter Garden” on my website where folks could post their love letters, and comment on one another’s.

On a personal note, I’m also writing a love letter every week for the fall and winter. I’m not publishing these, I’m not even always mailing them, but I’m diligently creating pages of love, staying connected to the things and people who make my heart thump.

That’s the project! So far, it’s been nothing but fun. I’m so grateful for that campfire, back in August.

(I should write a love letter to it…)

What do you think?

Maybe you will send in a love letter yourself?

I dare you – http://www.fireflycreativewriting.com/love-letters

 

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A Common Story: Jane the Practitioner (in seven chapters)

woman meditating de 91398382 A Common Story: Jane the Practitioner (in seven chapters)Introduction: myths and assumptions

Let’s get started.

This is my belief: most practitioners fail not because it’s inevitable, but because they believe certain myths about building their practice. They are like lenses or filters they look through that colour everything.

When I say ‘myth’ I mean the assumptions that most practitioners operate under about what is normal and what is possible.

These myths determine what they do and don’t do in their marketing.

These myths prevent them from seeing what is possible. To quote author Derrick Jensen, they “blind them to real opportunities and bind them to unlivable situations.”

These myths are incredibly common. There’s an old saying that ‘the fish were the last to discover water’. Why? Because they’re swimming in it. They’re surrounded by it all the time. We tend to miss what’s most familiar. We’re too close to the forest to see the trees.

Together, these myths form a sort of group, consensus reality that we all agree on.

These myths are not true.

One of the myths is that it takes a long time to build up a practice. This is not true. You could double your practice in 90 days (with the right strategy). People have done it and you can too.

Or can you? Not if you don’t even see it as an option.

When you talk about healing and helping people, everyone smiles and says, ‘awww . . .’ but when you start talking about selling, marketing and money, everyone frowns and says ‘ewww . . .’ There is a lot of discomfort around these issues. In some ways, the myths that we are going to explore are like coping mechanisms. We don’t see an alternative and so we come up with beliefs to explain why we don’t have what we want.

When these myths are named and questioned directly – sometimes a certain freedom emerges.

In fact, these myths are so pervasive and their effects so predictable that they often lead to an all too common story. You may find what follows disturbingly accurate . . .

Chapter 1: The Itch

Jane looks at the lives of her family and friends and shudders. Many of them seem to be trapped in jobs and relationships that don’t inspire them and, more often than not, drain them. They eat foods that she knows are hurting their health. She doesn’t want that kind of life.

She wants to feel alive.  She’s not quite sure why she’s so unsatisfied, and can’t put her finger on it . . . or even clearly articulate the alternative she’s craving. But something feels . . . off. It’s like a vague itch that she keeps trying to scratch but can never quite reach.

Chapter 2: Inspiration Strikes

But then it happens.

A friend introduces her to a holistic healing modality or perspective that makes a huge difference in her life. She is skeptical at first but the more she looks into it – the more ‘sold’ she is. And, as she applies is to her own life – she begins to notice changes. Her health improves, her relationships get better, she’s better able to set boundaries and she is feeling more and more at peace.

And then a light-bulb she goes on. A lot of people seem to be making it as holistic practitioners and coaches . . . why not her? She could do this for a living!

So, she does some research and decides to get certified in the technique or modality.

She spends years (and thousands of dollars) doing this. She spends years learning the philosophy and practical applications of her craft. And the more she learns, the more she loves it. It’s implied that once the program is over she’ll have everything she needs to run a successful practice. “If you build it,” she tells herself. “They will come.”

Eventually, she graduates.

Chapter 3: Reality Strikes Back

And immediately feels overwhelmed . . . “how do I start a business?”. She has no idea. So, she looks around at what everyone else is doing. And spends even more money on a gorgeous logo, business cards and flyers. And she tells all of her friends.

But a few years later – despite her best efforts – she still finds herself struggling to attract as many of the kinds of clients she is most wanting to work with. She places a few ads in the local new age magazines but gets an abysmal response on them. Each day she checks her voicemail and email hoping to find it full of bookings from people who saw her flyers or ads or posters at the local organic food store but . . . they never seem to come in at the levels she’s hoping for.

She has never made more than $20,000 per year (on her best year).

And a lot of the clients she works with don’t seem to want more than a ‘bandaid’. They don’t really seem willing to take full responsibility for their own healing. They just seem to want her to ‘do her thing’ on them. And then when she successfully helps them heal . . . they don’t need to come back. So, she waves them farewell and is struck by the need to replace that income. Somehow.

And then there are the disappearing clients . . . Some people would come in for a session or two, seem very happy with it, even tip her and then . . . just . . . vanish. And Jane is left wondering, ‘did I do something wrong? What happened?’

And the worst part is . . . she has no idea why she’s still struggling.

Chapter 4: A New Hope

Then she realizes what the problem is: she’s only offering one modality. So, she goes back to school (and spends a lot more time and money) to learn some new modalities and techniques to offer her clients. Some of them seem thrilled – others don’t seem to care.

But then she starts to see a problem it’s created. Instead of just being able to say, “I’m a massage therapist” she now has three or four other modalities to express and so she finds herself saying, “Well, I do a unique combination of shiatsu massage, traeger, reiki and quantum touch.” And now people seem more confused than ever by what she does.

Chapter 5: The Dawning Realization of the Missing Link

She feels clueless about marketing. She wonders why she never learned this at her school. She learned how to do what she does – but not how to market it, articulate it or sell it. Often when she tells people what she does she notices them glaze over and not ‘get’ what it is that she really does.

She knows she needs to market her business but when it comes to actually talking about her business to people – she can’t bring herself to actually ask people to come in for a session without feeling pushy.

Her friends tell her to ‘go online’ and so she spends even more money and time to create a website – but gets little to no business from it. She realizes she has very little ideal of how to make the most of it. Great. A website. Now what?

And hell . . . maybe the people she wants to reach aren’t online. Or . . . maybe that’s just another ‘excuse’ she’s created with regards to her business. Argh!

Secretly, she dreams of someone else showing up and just handling all the marketing for her. If only she could just show up and help people and other people could send her the clients. If only she didn’t have to worry about setting her fees.

When she tells people her fees, she often sees them flinch as if too say, ‘that’s way too much . . .’ and so she often just offers them a deal and drops her fees. After all, if she loses them there are hundreds of others who offer something similar to what she does. She feels like a commodity somedays.

Her friends encourage her to stay positive. Some of them even imply that her feelings of doubt are what are manifesting the shaky results in her world. ‘Maybe’, she begins to think, ‘this is about my self worth . . .’

Others tell her that she just needs to keep trying. To be more persistent but . . . the truth is – she’s exhausted and overwhelmed. She wants to spend time on her marketing but . . . it always seems to slip through the cracks. With spending time with friends and family, doing sessions, time for herself and her creative pursuits, tidying, doing the books and more . . . she never seems to find the time. And even when she does, she feels daunted. She has no idea where to start. She doesn’t know if she has any more effort or energy to give.

And secretly she feels incredibly inadequate. She tells herself that if she were more enlightened and healed she would just ‘know’ where to go and what to do and that it would all feel easy. She begins to suspect that her lack of business success is a reflection of her own lack of inner growth.

And she sometimes feels like a hypocrite or a fraud for not being perfect. She talks to people about living a balanced life but here she is – overbooked and not having time for a balanced life herself. She gives out a lot of wisdom and advice about how to live more healthfully but doesn’t always apply what her own advice.

And then there’s the marketing . . .

She knows she needs to learn how to ‘sell’ what she does – but has no idea where to begin or how to ‘sell’ in a way that doesn’t feel pushy, inauthentic, slimy or insincere. She feels shy in social situations with new people and hates the idea of tooting her own horn or meeting people just to ‘convert them into clients’.

She knows she needs to get better at articulating what she do – but she feels to close to it. She can’t see the forest for the trees.

She knows she needs to articulate what makes her unique but . . . she hates the old-school notion of competition. She wants to see the other practitioners succeed too! How does she express what makes her different, without slamming other people who do what she does?

She finds herself wondering, “How do I market while maintaining integrity? How do I paint a picture so that others can see what I see? How do I teach people that herbal medicine doesn’t have to be “alternative”, but instead “normal” health care? I feel so overwhelmed by all the marketing advice…do this, do that…I feel so torn…what do I do first? And what next? And how do I stay focused on my passions and do marketing at the same time…I don’t want my marketing to distract me from the work I love.”

She looks at her brochures, flyers and posters and knows they could be much better – but doesn’t even know where to begin. She’s told to create an email newsletter (that’s the golden secret!) but she’s on a bunch of them already and doesn’t read 10% of them (and hardly likes 10% of the ones she DOES read). She does not want to spam people. She’s tried posters but they don’t seem to work at all.

She finds herself ‘avoiding’ marketing. She distracts herself. Does anything except marketing! She goes for walks, plays bridge, tidies her office, surfs on facebook . . . but doesn’t. do. marketing.

Her practice is going nowhere fast. She does pretty much what others have done and their practices have flourished (or so it seems). She’s beginning to think this is not what she’s supposed to be doing.

She started with such a passion for her work and such clarity that she was doing what she came here to do – but as she looks at her bank account and stacks of bills she finds herself wondering if it really is . . . did she make a big mistake? Maybe she should take a full time job for a while. The financial instability is beginning to take a stronger emotional toll than she’d care to admit. And yet – her finances feel overwhelming and out of her control. Even the thought of developing a budget or ‘tracking’ her finances feels like an impossible mountain to climb.

After all, she needs to do everything in her business – and there’s a neverending to do list. She has to return all the calls and emails. She has to set up and clean up. She has to do the accounting and taxes.

She finds herself Avoiding doing promotion  because it’s so much work to find clients. She’s got no sounding board or support. She’s getting more last minute cancellations than she’d like.

And on top of it all she is noticing that she’s losing passion for the core modality she started with.

Chapter 6: Resentment & Helplessness

She finds herself beginning to resent the very work that once brought her alive. She resents putting in so much effort and getting back so little.

Her life begins to feel imbalanced but she still can’t seem to find the time and energy to take care of herself, in order to do her healing work from a balanced place. She knows that healing or therapy work, don’t work as well when she’s burnt out and frazzled.

And it makes her secretly feel like a bit of a fraud – who is she to offer others healing when she’s still struggling at such basic levels?

And she feels “wrong” for not knowing what to do. Her friends tell her that since what she offers is so great, she should simply be grateful and “attract” her clients. “But how?” she thinks. “By osmosis?!”

In the end, she has to take a part time job (in addition to going to school and spending a fortune to learn another modality!) all of which prevents her from having the time to do any of the marketing she should be doing

She even notices herself start to see her clients as the hydro bill. She finds herself falling into the trap of counting how many clients she’s seen that week or month and comparing them to the bills, “one more and I’ve got the rent!” She feels horrible when she catches herself doing that.

She wants to make it work but, after thousands of dollars, and years of effort, still has no idea how. She feels lost, alone and helpless and sometimes, ready to just give the whole thing up.

Chapter 7: Everything Changes

One day she has an important realization.

The skills she uses to help people heal are different from the skills she needs to grow her business. She realizes that she has spent years learning how to help people get better but almost no time in learning the skills of how to grow her business. She realizes that she has spent years working IN her business but very little time working ON her business.

For years, her practice was more of a hobby. But now she knows she needs to get serious about learning about business and marketing.

So she does a huge tidy of her office space, and sits down with a pen and paper. But she’s stuck. She doesn’t know where to start. She knows she needs to handle her marketing but has no idea where to start.

So, she goes to the bookstore and buys a book, does some googling and finds more resources. One day she hears about a marketing workshop in her area and goes to that. And then, she does what would have been unthinkable before – she hires a business coach.

They talk once a month and she gets assignments to do and she really applies herself. And things start shifting. Slowly at first but within a year – she is astonished to find that she has more than doubled her practice and also raised her rates (with far less drama than she’d imagined).

She finds herself attracting a better and better quality of client – people who are conscious and genuinely open to change (rather than looking for a quick-fix, bandaid solution). She feels more and more excited about her work every day and, because she’s making better money – her heart feels totally free to just be present with her clients. She’s no longer worrying about paying her bills.

But the best part is that she is now able to help her friends who have lived through the same story. She finds herself sitting them down and revamping their own marketing plans – and is delighted when they start seeing results too.

Her life is filled with a sense of freedom as she feels an incredible sense of clarity about how to articulate what she does and how to attract more perfect clients. It no longer feels like a mystery to her.

 

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Etsy – Quit Your Day Job

11etsy Etsy   Quit Your Day JobIf you want to find arts and crafts made by crafters and artisans from all over the world – you’d be hard pressed for find a better website than Etsy. Not only do they give these people an amazing venue to sell their products and services but they’ve also got a lot of amazing stories to inspire people to quit their day jobs and follow their heart making money doing what they love. Something to think about.

To read stories of people who’ve built a successful, full time crafts business – check out the link below.

http://www.etsy.com/storque/search/tags/quit-your-day-job/

 

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Book – The Art of Non-Conformity

art of non conformity Book   The Art of Non ConformityA lot of people make assumptions about how they need to live their lives – that are wrong.

It’s like the elephant in the circus. When they’re young they’re held with a huge, unbreakable chain – and so they learn they can’t escape. And eventually, a tiny, easily breakable chain works to keep them in place.

So many people are in a place of ‘learned helplessness’. Stuck in jobs they hate, yearning to travel, hating being an entrepreneur (wasn’t it supposed to free them) – wanting a more free and adventurous lifestyle.

If you’re wanting this – first contact my pal Alex Baisley – but then immediately go order this book (from a local, independently owned bookstore).

Here’s the publisher’s blurb:

If you’ve ever thought, “There must be more to life than this,” The Art of Non-Conformity is for you.

Based on Chris Guillebeau’s popular online manifesto “A Brief Guide to World Domination,” The Art of Non-Conformity defies common assumptions about life and work while arming you with the tools to live differently. You’ll discover how to live on your own terms by exploring creative self-employment, radical goal-setting, contrarian travel, and embracing life as a constant adventure.

Inspired and guided by Chris’s own story and those of others who have pursued unconventional lives, you can devise your own plan for world domination-and make the world a better place at the same time.

What do you think? Know of any inspiring examples of people living outside of the box?

 

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The Caring Capitalist

My Uncle Drew introduced me to Ricardo Semler over ten years ago. He was a labour relations executive with Labatt’s and other companies and I remember his amazement and enthusiasm about this man who was turning corporate culture on its head. Instead of hiding the financials from his employees – he would open the books to them – and made sure they knew how to read them. This video is inspiring – it might have you rethink your ideas of business.

 

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The Story of Brilliance

story The Story of BrillianceA few years ago, Annie Leonard created a video called ‘The Story of Stuff‘ where she used basic animation to communicate to people where all of their ‘stuff’ went. The video went viral and has been viewed by millions.

Since then, she’s made videos on ‘The Story of Cap and Trade’, ‘The Story of Cosmetics’ and ‘The Story of Bottled Water’.

Here’s what’s so brilliant about it.

She created the initial video and it was a success. But then she asked, ‘what else could I do with this brand?’ I see so many entrepreneurs create their initial offering and, when they’re met with success, stop. They tell themselves, ‘well, everyone’s bought my movie! There’s nothing else I can do!’ It’s like the therapist who is so good that his clients get better and don’t come back. Never thinking that maybe he could also write a book, start delivering talks and workshops, or create products to sell.

Also – her videos are so good that groups around the world use them to make their points. Not a bad way to make a name for yourself. Make tools that are so good that people around the world use them for their own causes.

She’s become a hub and trusted advisor in the field of sustainability – even a celebrity.

Look at the heart of what you do and ask yourself, ‘are there other ways to express this?’

You might be surprised.

 

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The Sad, Sad Story of Mr. W

I think this is one of my favourite ads of all time. It takes something that could seem abstract and humanizes it. Touching, funny and poignant.

 

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Oakland Doctor Gives “GIFT” of Healthcare

 

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Ten Story Revealing Questions

Old Books Ten Story Revealing QuestionsWhether it’s a product or a service – people are very curious about and reassured by stories. Your story is often at the heart of your credibility. They want to know what makes you so good at or so passionate about what you do. Stories humanize things. Stories connect people. No one wants to hear pitch (maybe Donald Trump, but the man isn’t well . . .). People want to hear stories.

1)    What got you started doing what you do? What drove you to do this? What was the moment when you realized you just had to start this business?

2)    Why did you choose to go about it the way you did?

3)    How did you go about developing your particular approach to the problem?

4)    What were the major obstacles or hardships that got in your way as you built your business?

5)    What have you experienced in your life that gives you the ‘street cred’ to do what you do?

6)    If you’re David with your business – then who is Goliath?

7)    Why are you so passionate about what you do?

8)    Who has been your Obi Wan Kenobi? Which mentors or teachers have most inspired you in this work?

9)    As you look back over your life – what are the primary questions you’ve sat with, struggled with? What are the different elements you’ve been trying to balance or weave together?

10)    If you had to sum up your life in three chapters, what would the chapter titles be and what would they each be about in one sentence?

 

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The Biggest Mistake You Can Do With Pay What You Can Workshops

The following is an excerpt taken from an interview I did with the brilliant Robert Middleton. A lot of my core marketing philosophy, I got from this man. This material will be compiled into a book called “Pay What You Want” in 2011.

Robert: What are some of the mistakes that you might make with Pay What You Can? What have you seen?

Tad: The biggest one I call the “Put the Money in the Basket.” People will do an event or concert or whatever it is. Then they say, “Everybody, thanks for coming. Thanks so much. There’s a basket at the back of the room. Put some money in it if you want to put some money in. You don’t have to. There’s no pressure. Please, don’t bother. You’re probably broke. Don’t put any money in. It’s cool. In fact, if there’s money in the basket and you need some, just take some out. In fact, I have $5 here. Who wants some money?

There’s this crazy awkwardness about it, and it’s very disorganized. There’s so many challenges with that. One of the biggest ones is you’ll have people who want to give you money who will just forget.

They genuinely are like, “I’m going to give $20.” They’ll have it in their hand and walk by. They just get caught up in a conversation. They’ll feel bad about it later. So there’s that.

Robert: So don’t do that.

Pasted Image 43 The Biggest Mistake You Can Do With Pay What You Can WorkshopsTad: Don’t do that. The other mistake I’ve seen, there’s so many, one is this. It’s funny. I was talking with a street performer, Nick Nickolas, who’s this brilliant guy from Australia, and I asked him. You know street performers will do their whole show. They’ll do their pitch at the end. I noticed how different street performers had a different pitch at the end. You know how they phrase it differently. His pitch was really short. A lot of performers would be really long.

I asked him, “Nick, what do you say is the biggest mistake street performers make when they do their pitch? “He said, “They save too much of it for the end. They do this whole show and then there is this whole thing. If you watch my show, you’ll notice that I’m sort of doing the pitch throughout the show.”

So he’ll do a trick, and he’ll be like, “An old lady saw me do that trick, and came up to me and said, ‘I like that. That show was really good. That show was worth $5.’” Then he looks at the audience, “I just thought I’d point that out.

He may make a reference, “If you’d seen me do this at a pub, you’d buy me a beer and a beer is $5. I just thought I point that out.” He’s naming it.

Robert: He’s priming the audience for them to expect that he’s going to ask for some money, but it’s going to be reasonable.

Tad: Yeah and he’s also saying, “Here’s what I think it’s worth. Here’s what you’d pay anywhere else.” He gives a number of examples throughout the show.

When I do a weekend workshop, it’s not like, “Hey, it’s a Pay What You Can workshop,” and then at the very end, “By the way, you’d pay $2,000 anywhere else.” That would be a real shock for people.

In the sales letter and in the flow of the weekend, I’m making reference to it. I’m saying, “I was at this Jay Abraham marketing workshop. It was $5,000 for five days, and he had 600 people there.” I’m using it to illustrate the principle of risk reversal, but I’m naming that so there’s some understanding as we go through.

I think another mistake people make is pretty rare, but I’ve still seen it. People say it’s basically a free event, and then they pass the hat at the end. That’s terrible. Or they charge something at the door and then do a pass-the-hat as well. That’s a terrible mistake.

Also a mistake is giving no context for what it’s worth and then being shocked at how little they receive at the end. It’s like I do a whole weekend, but if they have no idea what to pay, they will generally pay like $20 or $50. There’s got to be a context.

And not developing their back end. Pay what you can is great, especially as a lead generator, but like you’re saying, they may go through the weekend and then decide to work with you one on one or sign up for an advanced thing. It’s really important to think about what’s going to happen after.

Robert: In marketing we call that the back end. The front end is the initial sell. The back end is long-term sales and business that you generate.

Tad: I think it really is a mistake to think about doing everything as a Pay What You Can. It just isn’t going to be appropriate in every situation.

I think a mistake, too, is giving up after one event because it didn’t make the money they thought they deserved, versus getting really curious. “How can I tweak this to make this even better and make it more valuable?

I think actually one of the bigger mistakes is when people who are using Pay What You Can treat it too casually. It’s sort of like, “Pay whatever you want,” versus really, especially in a workshop setting, creating the space to talk about it. I take about half an hour at the end of my workshop to talk about money and to talk about the payment for the workshop.

 

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