Kelly on Wounds

Kelly 1 resized 200x300 Kelly on Wounds

I’d been hearing about Kelly Tobey for years.

He’s a leading figure in the Calgary personal growth scene. And then recently, while preparing for my Niching for Hippies course I saw that he was leading a workshop called ‘Shifting From Wounds to Assets”. And it reminded me of the blog post I’d written about wounds as niche. People struggle for years with their niche and often discover that their best niche is a younger version of them.

What followed was an extended interview happening over the space of months via facebook messages. I hope you enjoy it.

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Tad: You’re leading a workshop called, “shifting from wounds to assets” what’s it all about?

Kelly: In my journey of working with people for over 20 years one thing has shown itself over and over. From reading some of your writings Tad it seems that you have come across similar patterns. 

The workshop gives people a chance to look at their past wounds with the purpose of getting conscious about what assets have developed from their experiences. Then looking at how they are actually using those assets now and how they can utilize them more in the future if they choose to. 

I have found that many people just view the points of trauma or difficulties in their lives as things they have to get past and do their best to forget about. Instead this approach is one of uncovering any value that was gained and using it, rather than burying the experience entirely.  

In the process of recovering from the places where we have been traumatized or wounded we develop inner strengths and gain wisdom. On a personal level these strengths become assets in our ability to take on life’s challenges that we are faced with. Not only do we now know that we can recover from hurts but we also have tools that can be used to help us move forward with more ease. 

On a relational level we can now offer support, feedback and encouragement to others that are going through similar challenges. Our opportunity to be in service in such a way feeds the soul. It gives a purposefulness to the hard times we have gone through. In studies done on how to create more happiness in our lives, one of the keys to happiness is to be in meaningful service to others. As well it builds a sense of self-value and esteem.  

Tad: What’s the story of this workshop? And what’s your personal connection to this material?

Kelly: I will give you an example from my own life that might bring grounding and clarity to the concepts I am referring to. 

In my family system I had a mother that was overly critical. How that wounded me was that I had very low esteem as I felt no matter how well I did it was never good enough. This led to two major dysfunctional behaviours in me. The first was to go into “people pleasing” always looking for ways to make other people happy in hopes that they would then like me and the criticism would stop. 

The major draw back with that approach to life was that it took me further and further away from my core self. I was not focused on what actions (or non-actions) were true for me at my essence. Instead I was focused on looking for what others wanted. As a result much of the time I was betraying what was true to me. So even when I was getting approval from others for doing what they wanted, my esteem was still being damaged because I was betraying myself. 

This inappropriate sacrifice for others was building an internal anger. Which I tried to bury because nice guy people pleasers were not allowed anger. Eventually this led to the second major dysfunctional behaviour. Tired of sacrificing myself and tired of still getting mother’s criticism no matter how hard I tried to be perfect for her, I flipped over into rebellion.

I attempted to bury my underlying desire to be loved by my mother by pretending that I did not care if she loved me and approved of me or not. And in an attempt to prove it I went into fierce rebellion. Doing anything that I knew would horrify my mother and threaten her good standing with her religious friends.

Again, like with my people pleasing behaviour, there was no discernment about what actions (or non-actions) would be congruent with my essence. My rebellion took me further and further into self-destruction eventually landing me in solitary confinement in prison. 

Eventually, dissatisfied with the results from both of the dysfunctional behaviours I went on a journey of seeking a different path. Gradually I learned new ways of being that were based in being true to the essence of who I am and living a purposeful life that reflects that to the best of my ability. To explain all the steps in that would take a book or two so I will just jump to the results. 

Healing from my own wounds and the resulting dysfunctions called on lots of inner strength and fortitude. I gained a lot of wisdom along the way. I learned tools that I have been able to apply in facing other personal challenges. 

I ended up working in Group Homes with “delinquent” youngsters that had been in trouble with the law or that their parents did not know how to handle. I now had assets to share with these youngsters because of coming out the other side from similar wounds. And I had a depth of compassion and understanding that “book learned” social workers in the Group Home system could only touch on. Plus I was a living example for them, that it is possible to change out of the rebellious behaviours and have a more satisfying life. So I had great results with the youngsters I was working with.

That is an example from one of the many traumas I experienced. 

Although each trauma was different, the layout of working through them was the same, examine how I was wounded, do the recovery work, look at the gifts that evolved, and then utilize those gifts in my life.

So that is my personal connection to this material and why I like to empower others with exploring their own process through these steps. 

Tad:  What is the connection you see between wounds and assets?

Kelly: I think in some ways I have already answered that question. To recap > if we do the work to heal from our wounds it calls up our inner gifts and strengths. Along the journey we pick up wisdom. So the wounds have the potential to lead us into developing assets. 

On the other hand if we just attempt to bury or ignore our wounds, not only do we not develop the potential assets but we are dooming ourselves to living out dysfunctional coping strategies that are driven by the subconscious mind because of the unwillingness to bring it all to conscious awareness for healing. 

For example if I did not have the courage to face the buried pain of being raised with criticism and receiving corporal punishment if I made a mistake, then I would still be running self-destructive people pleasing and/or rebellious behaviours.  

Tad:  Do you see a connection between our wounds and our work in the world?

Kelly: Certainly the assets we gain by working through our wounds can give us great tools to apply in our working lives. 

Here is an example that came out of a recent workshop. I wont use names as I want to respect privacy. 

When he went back to examine some of the old wounding, one of the men in the workshop remembered that he was not allowed to draw and create art because of his parents’ religious beliefs and their belief that art had no value. This set him up to suppress one of his great inner gifts. Eventually an uncle “smuggled” drawing materials to him and encouraged him to draw. So he began to draw again in secrecy late at night with a flashlight under his blankets. 

Through time he did enough work on breaking free of the wounding that as an adult he has been able to use the gained assets to make a living as an artist. Yet it is not in the field of art that he has the highest passion for. 

He was still carrying some of the old wounding when it came to expressing his talents in the field fine arts. Although highly talented in this area, for sometime he has been concerned that if he were to do his fine arts full time that he would then be depending on it for money. He was then concerned that it would cut into the spiritual flow and connection he has with the fine arts.

In the workshop he saw that as a result of the wounding, as a child he had learned that his full passion for art and the spiritual connection to it had to be kept secret (under the blankets). So far he had recovered enough to go into a branch of art that he could make a living at but the possibility of going fully into his fine arts raised subconscious fears planted by the initial wounding. 

How it played out was that so much time was spent on the art he was doing for income that his fine art kept being put aside. Then when he would finally start to spend time with his fine art, he was so hungry for the experience that he would lose sense of time and other commitments. He just loved his spiritually connected experience so much that nothing else would matter. Then when he would finally come out of the fine art experience he would face complaints from the people in his life that had been ignored. His ex-wife had even framed his fine arts as being his “mistress”. His wounded child self was taking the complaints as the same old message > that art was bad. 

So in his workshop exploration he became clearer that of course the fine art was not bad and did not need to get him “in trouble”. He was just unconsciously setting up a replaying of that scenario from his past wounding. The replaying was reinforcing the old message that embracing his fine art fully would lead to punishment. 

With this new found awareness, if he wanted he could use some time management. Portion feeding time for his ongoing desire for the fine arts. By not putting it off for extended periods he would not end up so starved for the experience that he would forget about his other time commitments. 

As a result of these awarenesses he has already started to unravel some of the limitations from the old wounding. Soon after the workshop he was fulfilling a contract to paint a fine art mural on an inside wall of a public building. And told me he was having a blissful experience doing it!! 

Another step towards opening to his fine art becoming more and more visible to the public rather than “hidden under a blanket”. And knowing that receiving acknowledgement and money does not have to take away from the sacred experience > that belief was just an old tape from the past. 

To address your question “Do you see a connection between our wounds and our work in the world?” I would suggest that some of the most deeply satisfying vocations can come from applying the assets we have gained out of the process of healing our wounds. That process can be seen as a training ground for developing our gifts. We are always going to deliver our best work when offering something that parallels our own personal experience. Sure we can bring value into the work place as a result of formal education yet by itself it pales in comparison.

So for example lets look at someone that went through the trauma of car crash and physically damaged their body. Then they were able to heal themselves through an array of nutrients and physical exercises. For them to transmute that experience into a job such as setting up a clinic that specializes in vehicle crash recovery could be very fulfilling. They could share their wisdom from the grounding of their own experience.  Who to relate better to the clients than someone who has travelled a similar path. Someone who can relate closely with empathy and understanding. Someone who can be encouraging through the difficult times and be a living example of the results.  

Tad:  What is the outline of the steps you think people need to go through in order to transform their wounds into gifts?

Kelly: I wont attempt to cover all the possible steps involved as there are a great variety and many of them are dependent on what the wounding was. 

I will touch on some. One is to not bury the wound. If it stays in the subconscious it will not heal. Like a physical cut, you may cover it with a bandage for a while but eventually you need to open the wound to air for it to complete it’s healing. 

Another is to seek help. We may be able to heal some wounds on our own but it is so much quicker when we reach out for help. 

Another key point that eluded me for years is that traumas are going to have an emotional component. For years I attempted to heal wounds in myself and in clients with mind alone. Assuming that we could think ourselves into full recovery. I couldn’t understand why dysfunctional patterns would persist even when we knew mentally that the patterns were not serving. Why did we not just stop the behaviour if we knew better? Finally I came to grips with the fact that traumas have an impact on our emotional body. And that emotions are involved in our behaviours behind the scenes. 

Example: If I wanted to create an intimate partnership but kept running behaviours that pushed people away. With my mind I could analyze the behaviours and see what ones do not work for creating partnership. I could tell myself that I am not going to keep running those behaviours. Yet I may find that try as I might, I could only temporarily stop the behaviours before they came back or they were replaced with other behaviours that pushed potential intimates away. 

If I were to look deeper I may call up memories of past relational traumas. Perhaps I had a break up that involved being betrayed. If I were to acknowledge the underlying emotions I would see that I was deeply hurt by the experience. But perhaps I was raised to not acknowledge feelings of grief. Maybe I got the message of keep a stiff upper lip and move on. So I never went into the feelings of grief, gave them full airtime, or allowed them to be expressed and healed. 

As a result, in the present even though I would consciously want an intimate relationship my subconscious would be doing its best to protect me from getting into another situation where I might fall in love but then be betrayed again and have to feel grief. So my subconscious would make sure that I kept acting out behaviours that would push a potential partner away. Because I had been trained to regard grief as something that needed to be suppressed and feared, I could not risk another event that might activate more grief to add to the grief I was already suppressing.

So without doing the required emotional work I would stay stuck in the effects of the wound.    

Tad:  Can you share three stories of people you’ve worked with and how their wounds were turned into gifts? and what was the impact of that?

Kelly: Hee hee, I guess I got ahead of you as I have given you a couple of examples while responding to earlier questions. But yes I can give you more examples. 

Of course one of the people I have worked with is myself so I will give another example from my own life that fits nicely into what I was just sharing about the importance of emotional work. 

Before I go into explaining the trauma I will give you some background. I had spent my life disengaged from my emotional body. I had trained myself in what I now refer to as spiritual bypassing. That was the art of telling myself that I did not need to feel grief over my losses because in spirit we are all one so nothing is ever lost anyway. At the time I did not realize it was just another tool for suppressing emotion.  

My partner Dianne, a friend of ours Verna and myself were out for a day of rock climbing. We made it to the top feeling the elation of completing a brand new route. We unroped from each other and sorted out our gear preparing to walk along the top of the cliff to a place were we could do the 300-foot rappel back to the base of the cliff. Verna walked in front, followed by myself and Dianne brought up the rear. At one point I heard from behind Dianne say “oh shit”. I turned around to see what she was expressing about. My brain could not compute at first because when I turned she was no where to be seen. Then with shock I realized what had happened. She had stumbled and fallen over the edge of the cliff. The cliff at that point was overhung so we could not see the part of the cliff directly below us. We called out but heard no replies from Dianne. 

We set up a repel station so we could drop over the cliff on our remaining rope and to find her. Dianne had the other rope over her shoulder when she fell. We were hoping that it might have caught on something. Because of the distance Verna and I had to continue to reset new repels as we continued our descent. With each passing one the dread loomed larger as it meant Dianne had fallen a greater and greater distance. 

It was dark by the time we finally reached the cliff base. We started walking a grid back and forth. Eventually we came across her lifeless body. As we sat beside Dianne under the starry sky I broke open emotionally. These feelings were much too big for me to suppress. 

So obviously that experience was a trauma point. As it turned out I reached out for support and found it in the form of a facilitator that was intimately familiar with the emotional body. He led me to see the importance of needing to heal the emotional body as one of the key components to a fuller recovery from trauma. Up until that point my work with people had only been based in psychology, spirituality and body care. I could facilitate some results but without recognizing it I was missing a key component to part of what we are as humans > our emotional bodies.  

So now that I saw the importance I veraciously studied the art of working with the emotions. In her death Dianne had given me one of the most important gifts of my life. Not only had she facilitated the opening of my emotional life, transforming me into a much more fulfilled human being, but she had instigated me into developing the integration of emotional intelligence into my healing practise. This grew the effectiveness of my working with people exponentially. Her death rippled out through my transformed worked to touch the heart and soul of many, many people since. I will be forever grateful to her. 

Here is another example, this time from a person that I have worked with. Her trauma came in the form of being scapegoated in her family. Not being seen or heard in the way she would have hoped. The isolation only grew when her parents separated. 

In the process of healing her own history she was drawn to doing rebirthing work with me. This led to further study of childhood traumas and to research into a variety of parenting techniques and birthing processes. She used these more organically natural techniques in birthing her own son. 

The healing of her trauma of being poorly parented has led her to learn many skills and now she works as a Dula in service to other families in the process of giving birth to their children. She approaches it with a huge heart full of loving care. 

Tad since you first invited me to do this interview with you, I have explored a bit of the work that you do. So I know that you too see the value of people doing work that flows out of their personal life experiences. You point out how much more connected one can be to their client when fulfilling a need that is based in a personal experience. 

I want to thank you for encouraging people in this manner as I feel it will bring both them and their customers more satisfaction. 

I realize that most of your clients are coming to you for help with their businesses, yet I want to add here that for anyone that has not yet figured out a way to turn your gifts into your vocation, I would still encourage you to find places where you can give them. Perhaps it is with friends, perhaps by volunteering on the side. But know that if you find a way to give from the gifts you have gained through personal experiences and that are connected to the essence of who you are, your life is going to be filled with even more fulfillment. 

Tad: When you speak about becoming a people pleaser and ‘nice guy’ it strikes me that you must have learned a great deal about building rapport with people, setting a relaxed vibe, diffusing conflict in that process. And I imagine those same skills that were a part of unhealthy patterns for you, now used consciously are part of what make you such a wonderful facilitator. Would you say that’s true?

Kelly: Yes I would agree to the truth of that and not just in myself. What I have come to see in working with people is that any trauma or wound that we are met with leads to us coming up with a coping strategy. Somewhat simplified, our copying strategy will have two sides to it. 

One is that it will be rooted in an inner strength and/or gift that will be creatively used to attempt to deal with the wounding and protect us from similar wounding. So using the example of the “people pleaser”, it has all the traits that you referred to such as rapport building, bringing calmness to situations, diffusing conflict, as well as ability to read people and intuit what they want or need.

The second part is that when the “gift” goes sideways it turns into a dysfunction. And it is quite likely that we will have some of these dysfunctions blended in to our behaviours because typically we are reacting to a trauma unconsciously as apposed to us consciously deciding how to cope. Because it is unconscious reaction we can have “sideways” behaviours mixed in without even knowing it. 

So for instance as a people pleaser, I had the gift of actually knowing how to please people and be in service to them BUT one of the ways it went sideways was that if any situation had elements of the original wounding, I would be acting out of a fear reaction rather than a conscious response. 

So for example one of the dysfunctions is to sacrifice what would be true to me in an attempt to make someone else happy (in unconscious hopes that if I was able to please them they would not wound me). But in the self-betrayal I would actually end up wounding myself. Because when I am not being true to my own integrity I am not in alignment with inner peace and harmony. 

This comes back to the importance of addressing and working through our wounds. In the process of healing the wounds we become conscious of what our unconscious coping mechanisms were. Now with the clarity of conscious awareness we can pick and choose between which behaviours are appropriate and which ones are not serving us.   

Tad: And it also seems like you really help people who struggle as you struggled to feel ‘enough’. That seems like a clear example of a direct connection between your wound and your ‘wand’ as they say.

Kelly: Hee hee I had never heard the term “your wound and your wand”, it has a nice ring to it. 

Yes, again I agree with your observation. Because I choose to work through the wounding of my self-worth and self-esteem, as I continue to learn how to heal the damage in myself, I continue to learn tools that have the possibilities of serving others as well. And all this gets amplified in a workshop setting because of the strength of intention. Participant’s intention to strengthen their acknowledgment of self-worth and my intention to share what I have learned along the path.  

Tad: And, related to that, do you feel like the gifts come from the compensating mechanisms or from the healing from them specifically?

Kelly: I suspect that the gifts are inherent in us, and that dealing with life’s challenges calls them to the forefront. As you have likely seen, different people can face almost identical challenges, yet the internal strengths they call on to face the challenge might be quite different. 

Perhaps in some cases the gifts would lay dormant until we are faced with a challenge that requires them to surface. As hard as it is to experience traumas, it might be that if we have the support and willingness to work through them, that they accelerate us coming into our wholeness. 

Tad: I’m wondering if you feel like the path of healing and connecting with our inner nature IS the gift we get from our wounds (and so the gift is always inherently about the discipline and dedication to healing in some way?) or if it’s the compensating mechanisms and defences we’ve created that we are now able to consciously redirect that is where the gifts come from in it – so that we look at how we dealt with our wounds (poorly) and find ways that those same poor behaviours can be ultimately used for good? I’m curious what your take on that is.

Kelly: Hmmm, looks like I jumped ahead with my previous response as I think your question was already answered. It seems to me that the gifts are inherent in us and can be developed whether we have trauma to stimulate them or not, yet it is only a theory, I am not 100% sure on that.  

Tad: I know for myself, I have had the wound of not feeling ‘cool’ for a lot of my life. And that had me try ‘too hard’ to be cool and come across as ‘try hard’ to people. And that felt painful. Which had me feel uncool. And made me try even harder. And part of being uncool was learning how to map rooms to see who the cool people were. Unconsciously, that was a disingenuous pattern. But now, as I work to build connections with key hubs around sustainability and local food and good things in Edmonton – those same skills of mapping out key players is actually a beautiful gift to the community. 

Kelly: Yes Tad, great example of what we are talking about. 

Tad: When you speak of the tragedy of your friend falling to her death – it strikes me that you found a beautiful meaning in it that honoured her life and its loss. Is this a core part of your work? Helping people find a meaning in it?

Kelly: I do not know if that can be considered the core of my work but yes it is safe to say that it is a core part. I think that it is great to find deeper levels of meaning when they are available to us. It can settle the hungry mind and in some situations reformulate the emotional impact of events. 

Yet there is also a lot to be said for standing in the middle of the mystery of life. I have noticed in myself and in some others that it is easy to get “addicted” to having answers, even to the point of being in discomfort or disarray if no answers are forth coming. I find that sometimes it serves me to invite in answers if they will serve the highest good, yet in the meantime to let go of the demand for answers and just bask in a space wonderment. The unfolding of the unpredictability of life can bring lots of “juice” to our experience. I notice that the more I trust myself to be able to deal with any of life’s challenges, the more relaxed I am with the unfolding. 

On the other hand if I don’t feel safe with life, then my search for meaning is fear based, full of angst, and with an underpinning of wanting to know in hopes that the knowledge will allow me to control things. Fear tells me that if I can control everything I can be safe. 

Trust tells me that I can call on inner and outer resources that will carry me through anything that arises, making it safe to flow through as the mystery reveals itself moment by moment.  

Tad: I’ve heard it said that our ideal niche is often a younger version of ourselves – does that feel true for you? Like, I felt uncool when I was a young man, but now, older and wiser, I might have a lot to offer to a young man who feels uncool. A woman who struggled with body issues as a teen might be the perfect person, once she’s grown and healed enough, to help other young women on the same journey. I did a lot of pushy sales stuff, and now I help people who are struggling with how to be authentic in sales and marketing. There’s this idea that much of the purpose of growing up is to become the adult whose support we were most needing when we were growing up. That, when we’re lost in our direction in life, we can often look back in time at who we used to be and where we used to be and offer help to those people.

Kelly: Thanks, now I am clearer on the point you were asking about. Yes, I am in agreement with that principal, in fact it ties into a healing process that often gets used in my work. I have notice that for our elder, present self to just have the knowledge of how we needed to be treated in our past times of crisis, is just part of the process of cleaning up the “damage”. Without further steps, the younger parts of ourselves can stay in a traumatized state even once our adult self knows better. So it can be useful for a person to go into a meditative state and call up the memory of the trauma point, including all the emotions that were activated. Once accessed they can use creative imagination to picture their wiser adult self travelling back through time and stepping in as an advocate for the younger self. 

So for example I have done this myself by using memory to go back to a time when my mother was beating me using corporal punishment. I saw that as a child I was traumatized by the pain. That I was confused that someone that supposedly loved me was using physical violence because of a mistake she assumed I made. I saw that in my young mind I was making up the story that I did not have any rights over my own sovereign space, my own body. I was being taught that if someone was angry at me, that they had the right to physically attack me, criticize me and shame me. And I saw that as a result my child self was feeling a mixture of helplessness, sadness and anger about what was happening. 

While still holding that image, it was overlaid with my present imagination. That imagination was of my adult self dropping into the scene, taking my younger self into my arms away from my mother, telling her she could no longer physically abuse this child, telling my younger self that I was going to be here and now stand up for Kelly, making openhearted boundaries whenever needed so no one gets to abuse us again. 

From this place of safety I visualized my child and adult self sending loving energy to the essence of my mother while at the same time saying no to her inappropriate behaviours. 

As I am doing this I am holding the consciousness of my adult self and child self at the same time and allowing them to both express through my present self. So here I am with all this going on internally while in present time I am weeping the tears of my child self. The tears he never got to cry while he was being violated, as well as his tears of relief that someone had finally seen him and cared enough to step in with the love and care that he had needed. 

So one might ask, what was the point of doing all that. Well the point is that prior to doing that kind of inner work, in my everyday life, if I ran into situations that had elements of what happened when I was a child, I would unconsciously go into that childhood assumption that I had to put up with aggression from other people. It wasn’t as extreme as me being physically hit, but it did manifest as me collapsing and not standing up for myself. Especially in the face of women that reminded me of my mother 

So I was stunted in a child state when facing situations that triggered associations to the past events. Because all this was playing out subconsciously below my awareness, all that I was seeing in my adult life was that I could be manipulated by people that showed aggression. That I lacked boundaries and would collapse into a passive state. Or if I were pushed too far I would flip to the other pole and become aggressive (unconsciously fuelled by the unresolved anger I had at my mother). 

So in present time, logically my adult self had the intellectual knowledge that I had the right to my sovereign space. My adult knew that no one had the right to be abusive towards me, BUT when triggered I unconsciously regressed to the unhealed child state. In a sense the adult was nowhere to be found when the child state took over. 

Once I did the healing work to go back in to the trauma and unify the connection between the child and adult Kelly > now my child self is not left disconnected internally. So if something arises presently that has elements of the past, even if the child is activated, he is not left alone, the adult steps in with him as an advocate and puts the needed boundaries in place.  

So this would be one of my personal examples that is an illustration of how we can become an advocate for our own internal child self. And then there is the option to extend that out to others as you were mentioning Tad.

So in my workshops a big thrust is in supporting people to learn how to empower themselves to make openhearted boundaries. Passing on what I have learned (or a better description would be – what I have embodied) and helping people find ways to embody that for themselves so they have more than just the head knowledge of physiological and spiritual ideals about self care.

Tad: If someone were to say to you, ‘My wounds are NOT a blessing!’ I’m curious how you might respond, or want to respond if they were open.

Kelly: I liked how you framed that Tad “or want to respond if they were open”. It shows me your sensitivity to care when addressing someone’s wounds. Discussion of wounds can initiate protectiveness, so unless there is a sincere openness, any attempt at communication can break down rapidly. 

If there is an opening then I would likely share my thoughts about the paradox of wounding. Receiving wounding is not a blessing. Receiving a wounding can be a blessing. Both ring true to me so I would not want to polarize to one statement or the other. Rather I would hold space for both of them. 

If I am stuck with just “it is not a blessing” then I am likely to stay stuck in a disempowered victim place around it. If I am stuck in “it is a blessing” then I may be prone to use positivity to suppress the grief that needs to be felt through. And to avoid looking squarely at the damage facilitated by the wounding. If I am not willing to fully look at the damage and emotional feel what that brings up, then I will be left with blind spots that will keep me stuck and unable to move forward into an empowered space. It is through the close observation and emotional work that I can sort out how to heal the wound and come back into an empowered place. That process is going to call forward my gifts, which in turn reveals the other side of the paradox > “my wounds are a blessing”. 

Hmmm, that feels like it may be a natural place to close on Tad, unless you have further questions, which I would be willing to answer.

Thanks again for your stimulating questions. 

May each of you that reads this be blessed on your journey. 

Kelly Tobey is an IntegrativeTransformational Processing Facilitator with StarTree Integration Adventures (founded 1991)

Kelly provides, Private Sessions, Workshops, Leadership Trainings, Retreats, across Canada  And in Calgary ongoing weekly drop-in seminars called Expanding Heartfelt Living evenings. For information contact Kelly Tobey at Phone: (403) 217-5533 Fax: (403) 217-0053 Website: www.kellytobey.com Facebook: Kelly Tobey YouTube: KellyTobey1

Lev Natan Talks Sacred Business – How to Walk Your Unique Spiritual Path and Pay Your Bills On Time

Lev Headshot Feb2013 Lev Natan Talks Sacred Business   How to Walk Your Unique Spiritual Path and Pay Your Bills On TimeMy colleague Lev Natan is one of the most ‘real deal’ conscious entrepreneur coaches you could meet. He has a deep history in community and spiritual work and it’s been wonderful to see his work blossom. He’s got a new project coming up that I am excited to share with you all and so I thought I’d sit down with him for a bit of an extended interview about it.

His program is called: The Sacred Business Intensive – How to Walk Your Unique Spiritual Path and Pay Your Bills On Time: 5 Free Webinars to Integrate Your Relationship with Money, Life Purpose, and Meaningful Work – From March 27th thru April 4th.  

You’ve spoken about how you have noticed that conscious entrepreneurs often feel “overwhelmed, hopeless, unappreciated, hurt, and as if no one sees who [they] truly are or what [they] are here to give.” What’s underneath that? Why do you think they feel that way? Is this them playing victim or something else? Why do we get stuck here?

To understand why we get stuck, we need to see clearly how life really is, and, for a moment, let go of how we would like it be.  What are the values that mainstream western culture supports and respects?  Economic and career success, material wealth, social status, and the power to control resources.  

The dominant culture is not organized around values of appreciating each individual’s talents and gifts.  We have the Gross National Product, while Bhutan, for example, has the Gross National Happiness Index.  It doesn’t foster healthy community relationships that empower us to feel safe being ourselves (as opposed to wearing social masks).  

Our culture has stripped away the sense that we have what we need and can enjoy a simple sense of contentment.  Contentment grows out of a strong connection to self, resilient family and community ties, and an engaged relationship with spirituality (our sense of meaning and purpose).  Instead, our culture stimulates our sense of neediness (which is what drives our economy), and tells us we will be satiated by unhealthy foods, material goods, money, and the image of success.  This life pattern conditions us towards dependency and addition.

The truth is, we are needy.  But, at the root of our neediness is a longing for authentic relationship – relationship with self, community, nature, and spirit.

The root word for culture is the same as cultivate, so our culture is the soil in which we grow, and the soil is quite depleted of nourishment.  We can go back 10,000 years to see the overall pattern of human civilization as being engaged in power struggles for control of resources.  Generation after generation of this life experience engenders our psychological, emotional and neurological systems with a pattern of dependency.  

So, on a cultural level, we have been conditioned to feel the feelings that I’ve mentioned – “overwhelmed, hopeless, unappreciated, hurt, and as if no one sees who [they] truly are or what [they] are here to give.”

A lot of coaches, healers, and teachers talk about “transforming limiting beliefs,” but an essential element that is usually left out is the awareness that our beliefs are like roots of a tree – they go deep into the soil of our being. 

We get stuck because our bodies “remember” these traumas, and are expressed as subconscious beliefs, which show up when we want to express ourselves in our businesses.  To access the self-respect, love, joy, and empowerment necessary to stand up as leaders in our businesses, we need to transform our conditioned value and belief systems by going on a journey to heal our ancestral wounds.  

I went through a years-long process of healing the fear of being persecuted for my spiritual beliefs because my ancestors were persecuted – villages destroyed, families torn apart.  I had memories of being burned at the stake that I had to heal.

These kinds of traumas are passed down through our ancestral memories and our bodies.  I didn’t think that I was literally in danger of physical harm, but it showed up as fear of being rejected or people not taking me seriously in my business if I really spoke my truth.  So, I needed to heal the roots of those beliefs in order to stand powerfully in my entrepreneurial purpose and mission.

You speak about how, “we don’t just want to “be successful,” we want to sing our own unique song.” Can you spell out the difference you see between the two? And why do you think more of the people we work with haven’t found this yet? Is it fear? Is it them trying to fit into a box? What prevents us from finding that song?

Have you ever heard of Chiron?  He was a figure in Greek mythology who exemplifies the archetype of the wounded healer.  

The path towards true service requires you to go on your own healing journey.  And, on this path of healing, there aren’t any shortcuts, you have to confront the wounds and do the work.  

This is is not something that we’re used to in our culture.  We’re used to shortcuts and getting the results that we think we want as quickly and effortlessly as possible.  The problem with this, as our current economic and environmental crisis demonstrates, is that taking shortcuts actually brings us further away from what would truly nourish us.

So, “being successful” is about looking the part – getting the clients, making the money, being the respected expert in your field.  From here, people who are feeling needy for those things are attracted to the image of power and success that you have built.

Singing our song is about freedom.  Freedom can not be faked.   Freedom is a qualitative expression of spiritual growth and development.  Freedom requires self-awareness, trust, faith, courage, compassion, intelligence, and an open-hearted love that is willing to give itself fully for what it believes.  It takes practice to develop these qualities – that’s why we call it spiritual practice.

Martin Luther King Jr. was free.  Gandhi was free.  Malcolm X was free.  And, Nelson Mandela was free, even though he spent 27 years in prison.  They found freedom through their connection to their life purpose, mission, and relationship with self, other, and spirituality.

You don’t need to be a political or social change leader in order to have the courage to be free.  Start with your own healing journey.  Start by being honest with yourself.  

The most powerful act of courage is to give yourself permission to articulate what you really want, what would really make you come alive and feel joyful, as opposed to the image of what “being successful” tells you what you want.  Movement towards your authentic vision gives you many opportunities to heal and move closer to freedom.

The main thing that can prevents you from singing your song is that you create a culturally acceptable version of your vision – basically a compromise – and then pretend to be excited about it.  External results of “success” can give us a rush for a few years, but its like a sugar rush, it isn’t a solid foundation on which to build a life or business. 

You speak about:

“why am I here on this planet at this time?  What am I here to do and be?  Who am I, underneath my social conditioning in a culture that has a habit of only looking at the surface of things.  And, who am I an in an era that is coming to an end, and in a new one that is emerging as we speak?  What is my role?  What is my responsibility?  How can I  imagine a vision for myself that feels free and joyful when there is so much suffering going on around me?”

Why do these questions matter to a conscious entrepreneur? What do you see as the connection between the kind of deep personal growth you’re talking about and right livelihood? I can imagine a lot of people might say, ‘That’s nice and important, but I have to pay the bills. I don’t have time for this.’

Going back to where I left off in the last question, its about integrity.  I’m not only talking about being aligned with your truth.  I’m talking about structural integrity.   

When you build a house without pouring the concrete foundation its just not going to last.  You could look at these questions as the foundation for a solid business and life.

These questions are the roots of a powerful vision, and therefore, a solid foundation for a conscious business.  When you ask yourself “why am I here at this time?” it cuts to the core of your sense of purpose.  Your connection to purpose gives you access to a quality of inner resources that are otherwise completely unavailable.

To make it simple, these questions can be distilled into one simple question: what motivates you to get up in the morning?  

Your motivation dictates the manner in which you engage your goals.  If you are motivated by the socially approved of treasures – wealth, status, power – than you may just get that.  But, these treasures do not guarantee fulfillment, joy, healthy relationships, and experience a sense of deep meaning in the work that you do.  In fact, the statistics show the exact opposite.  America, the richest country in the world, is also the most depressed.  Americans consume more anti-depressants than any other people in the world.

If you are motivated by a desire to grow into a person who embodies the attributes taught about by world spiritual traditions, then joy, meaning, fulfillment are assured to you.  Why?  Because you are focused on cultivating internal qualities, which you do have control over, as opposed to external results, which you, ultimately, don’t have control over.

Results in business are essential.  But, your perspective and motivation changes your relationship which getting results, which is at the core of what I am talking about.

By integrating your deepest sense of meaning and purpose into your business, you begin to emphasize action that genuinely cultivates your mission, as opposed to looking for the best way to get recognized, find clients, and just “get yourself out there.”  

Its an issue of focus and perspective that may seem subtle, but over the course of the development of a business, and your life as a whole, that foundation builds a whole different house, so to speak.

A major (often valid) criticism of people engaged in a spiritual, healing or holistic business is that they’re flakey. Lofty visions, big concepts etc. but little application and little ability to ‘pay the bills on time.’ What do you think that’s about and what do these people most need? What’s missing for them here? When you work with them how do you help with that? 

Its true.  People engaged in spiritual, healing or holistic businesses do have lofty visions.  I would also add people in the creative arts, like film-making, writing, musicians, and visual artists.  I should know, I’m one of them.

Most of the time, your greatest gift is also your greatest weakness, and this is definitely the case here.  All human beings have the same basic structure – 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, a nose, mouth, etc. – and that hasn’t changed for thousands of years.  But, your individual nature is very unique.  The nature of people who create, heal, and connect naturally to a sense of spirituality is that we literally have one foot in two worlds.  Now, taken at face value, in this materialistic culture, it can be a setback to be “in the world, but not of it.”  But, in other cultural systems, this is highly revered and respected human quality.  One of the meanings for the word “shaman”is literally “the one who dreams it into being” – “it” meaning their vision.  

So, the first mistake that most people make is to hide their natural gift, which is their most precious asset in a business.  They need to honor themselves and their gift.  

From here there is a “reality check” that probably needs to happen.  You need to get real with what it is that you’re ignoring – in terms of practical business and professional skills.  Go out and get the training you need.  I had to do that, and through our work together, my clients learn to engage practically with the vision that they care most about.  I’m talking about skills like presenting yourself respectfully, clear communication, time management, time lines, goal setting and follow through – in general, being a professional and taking yourself seriously.

So, the second mistake is that intuitive/creative professionals think that their intuition and visionary nature will carry them through life without having to do any heavy lifting.  

But, once you move through those two issues, you have the ability to channel the power of your creativity into a clear structure or form that strikes a nerve with people, and is much more powerful, attractive, and magnetic than “successful” business-owners who have perfected the skill of looking the part, but don’t have the root and life force flowing through their copy, programs and services.

CLIENT STORY:

I’ll give you an example to demonstrate these two points. Dean Adams, who will be speaking with me in the 5th Webinar in the Sacred Business Intensive, was a free-lance news film-maker/journalist in Thailand, struggling to catch the next story, when I met him.  He was behind on his bills and stress was mounting in his relationship with his wife.  

Where to start in such a challenging situation?  We began with the inspiring vision that makes Dean come alive.  For many years Dean has felt a yearning to use story-telling through film as a vehicle for inspiration, empowerment, healing, and growing the new, life-affirming culture.  This is what we tapped into.  

My intention was to get Dean to feel how important that vision was  in his life.  It was a struggle.  

When you can’t see a pathway to your vision, your tendency is to stop looking, because it hurts too much.

But, Dean and I built a relationship rooted in trust, safety, and acceptance where it was not only ok to feel the pain, but I actually supported him to do so.  As we created more space for the pain to be felt, there was more space for other emotions as well – excitement, inspiration, and the desire to make his vision a reality. 

But, we didn’t float off into “vision-land” and “get high.”   Instead, we used the vision as a container within which to engage the practical realities of his life.  His sense of empowerment awakened.  He went out and got a job teaching film-making at a school.  No, that wasn’t the ultimate goal, but that was the necessary stepping-stone, in that moment.  And, now that his ultimate vision was strong, he was able to give himself fully to the practical task at hand.

From here, he continued to look for new work opportunities, and through skillful networking (a crucial business skill), was offered a job as Deputy Editor in Chief for Documentaries at Qatar TV, a news television station, where he is currently earning a healthy income while building the professional skills and relationships that are making his vision for his own film-production company truly realistic.  He is currently in the process of putting together a team of staff and investors to support his film-production company called 10 Hope Films.

You can get more info here.  

mqdefault Lev Natan Talks Sacred Business   How to Walk Your Unique Spiritual Path and Pay Your Bills On TimeLev Natan helps entrepreneurs & creative professionals weave their unique spiritual path into meaningful work through Life Purpose / Business Coaching & Sound Healing.  He is the founder of The Medicine Tree Center, and is committed to a path of practical spirituality that is rooted in purposeful work, meaningful relationships, and vibrant, joyful health.

Lev’s work is rooted in the principles and practical wisdom of ancient mystical and shamanic traditions.  A musician his whole life, Lev awakened to the healing power of sound through spiritual and musical traditions from cultures around the world, including the Chasidic Tradition of Judaism, Indigenous Healing Traditions of Brazil and Peru, Tuvan Throat Singing, and Native American spiritual traditions.  

Lev is Certified as an Empowerment Life Coach, and has been serving clients since 2008.  He has a background in addiction treatment counseling and rites of passage work. He graduated from Boston University Cum Laude with a degree in Human Ecology, is Certified as Agent of Conscious Evolution through Barbara Marx Hubbard’s training with the Shift Network, apprenticed with Native American Shaman and Elder, Hawksbrother, for six years, has been studying Tai Chi & Qi Gong for 8 years, and is currently enrolled in the Sound and Music Institute’s Practitioner Certification Training.

If you’d like more info or to sign up for Lev’s free offer, just click here.

marketing from the heart manifesto

heart marketing from the heart manifestoOne of my clients, wrote me a beautiful email recently with her ‘manifesto’ about marketing. I was so inspired by it that I had to share it. It’s a beautiful example of starting with the ‘why’ and of a clear and compelling point of view.

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Marketing From The Heart?

by Mary Pellicer, MD?

My vision of what MARKETING can be if it comes from the HEART:

An INVITATION to people to live RICHER, FULLER and more MEANINGFUL LIVES, to live lives in ALIGNMENT with their own INTEGRITY.

Communication to INSPIRE from a place of GENEROSITY (vs. pushing and pressuring from a place of greed)

CONNECTION to inspire people out of LOVE and CARE (vs. motivating them from fear)

EMPATHIZING with people (vs. exploiting their insecurities)

Being COMMITTED to SERVING people (vs. selling to them)

Making sure it’s a PERFECT FIT (or NO DEAL)-Going for the WIN-WIN ?(vs. making the sale)

CONTACT to LEAD & INFLUENCE (vs. seeking fame)

Opening CONVERSATIONS about POSSIBILITIES (vs. closing deals)

Market from the Heart and invest in making the world an amazing place to live, work and grow.                    

(With much gratitude to Tad Hargrave who’s blog post Death and Marketing inspired this.)

your signature talk

I was chatting with my colleague Jonathan Bender about his upcoming coaching program about helping people deliver a ‘signature talk’. It’s a term I suggest you’ll be hearing a lot more of in the coming months. But it’s a bit of jargon so I asked Jonathan to explain what it is and why it matters.
 
JonathanBender1 your signature talkWhat is a signature talk? Why do it? And who’s it for?
 
First, a signature talk is simply a speech / presentation / keynote / talk that is uniquely you. It’s a forum for bringing your message to the world. Even if someone else has a similar topic, it doesn’t matter – a signature talk will always be authentically you. Also, it could be done at a live, in-person event, or it could be on a webinar or teleseminar. Finally, a signature talk could labeled as a motivational or inspirational speech. Often, it’s used to inspire new clients to work with you.
 
Why do it? Well, for a couple of reasons. First, speaking is one of the best ways to get clients, and to get established as an expert in your field. It helps you reach far more people very quickly – which makes getting clients much easier. Also, you get to change more people’s lives with your message. That’s pretty cool.
 
Who’s it for? If you are a heart-based entrepreneur – a coach, holistic practitioner, or with your own unique business that really helps people – it’s for you. If your reaction is, “I’m not a speaker,” then you’re the perfect fit. Yes, some people with signature talks make their living as paid speakers, but many others have their own coaching, therapy or healing business – and just use speaking to reach their perfect clients.
 
Anyone can learn to do it. It’s important to learn all the key elements, which I’ll be discussing with Tad on our call on Wednesday. Join us to learn a lot more, and how you can put a professional signature talk together – and start using it to attract great clients – faster than you may think.
Let me drill this down a bit further.
 
Your signature talk with where you express your point of view. Meaning, your talk is fundamentally going to be on the topic of the journey they’re on from Island A to Island B (and maybe to inspire them that Island C is possible). But just getting up there and describing that journey would, ultimately, be unsatisfying for an audience. You need to not only talk about the destination but to draw your unique map of how you think people should best make that journey.
 
You need to share your honest point of view.
 
I wrote a post called “50 real life examples of point of view in action“. And each of the examples could be the basis of your signature talk. But finding your voice and really honing your point of view into something clear can take work. Your signature talk is a chance to express your platform – to have them leave with a very clear sense of what you want to be known for.
 
Think about the success of TED Talks.

You’ve likely seen at least one (and if you haven’t I apologize in advance for the week of your life you’re going to lose watching them).

These talks are obviously inspiring, thought provoking and often very powerful.

But also consider this – can you imagine the number of books those videos have sold for the speakers? The number of speaking engagements and clients they gotten as a direct result of those talks? What those talks have done for their reputation? The projects they’ve been invited to be involved in?

Think about it.

I’ve gotten to asking my clients at workshops – ‘What would your TED Talk be?’ If you were given 20 minutes on stage in front of thousands of your ideal clients would you be able to distill your core philosophy and ‘take’ on things into that time in a way that they totally ‘got it’?

Of course, TED has a massive reach and reputation. But, even if you take that away, having a ‘signature talk’ like that (whether online or in person) is one of the most vital things I can imagine an entrepreneur having. The power of TED is partly the huge following they have (1,224,829 Followers) but it’s also about the clarity of the ideas being communicated and the powerful stories being told.

You may not have the reach but you can create a talk with the same power and impact.

You likely already know that public speaking is one of the best ways to get clients.

Yet, so many incredible conscious entrepreneurs aren’t doing it.

Or, they’re not being effective, and missing out on getting to bring their important message and purpose to the world.

I’ve seen talks where the presenter never even mentioned their services they offered (and so got no clients). I’ve seen talks where the speakers used high pressure and manipulative tactics to try and get people to buy (and then got no clients).

Jonathan Bender, a warm and wonderful fellow who’s been a speaking coach for over 15 years (also a professional theater director, actor and writer!), will be leading an incredible free training:

“How to Craft a Powerful, Inspiring Speech… that Transforms Your Audience, Changes Their Lives, and Moves Them to Work with You!”

DATE: Wednesday, October 10th @ 5pm PT/6pm MT/7pm CT/8pm ET
COST: Free
REGISTRATION: http://bit.ly/QxW7M7

REPLAY / RECORDING AVAILABLE? Yes!

what to call yourself

Screen Shot 2012 09 28 at 9.08.47 AM what to call yourselfMy dear colleague in the UK Corrina Gordon-Barnes (pictured right) just wrote a brilliant, brilliant blog post about the whole question of ‘what to call yourself’.

It’s a vital issue because what you choose to call yourself will have a direct impact on how memorable it is or isn’t and how easy it is to tell their friends about you. If word of mouth is the primary engine of marketing (and it is) then what you call yourself and how easy it is for others to remember and share matters profoundly.

If you do something with a funny name (e.g. permaculture, theta healing, appreciative inquiry, non violent communication, ‘the work’ etc.) you’ve no doubt noticed the glazed look people get on their faces when you try to tell them what you do. And you might also just not dig the generic title people in your industry use (even though it is clear). Perhaps you’ve been calling yourself a life coach, counsellor, dance teacher etc. but none of that really feels right or exciting.

So, what do you do?

You read this wonderful piece by my friend Corrina Gordon-Barnes.

To read her article click here.

the oxymoronic business: how to create an instantly memorable, attention grabbing business name that gets people talking

OXYMORON 1 the oxymoronic business: how to create an instantly memorable, attention grabbing business name that gets people talkingOh man.

I’ve been wanting to write this blog for so long.

It’s about what to name your business.

Your business name matters. A good name is memorable and easy to repeat which gives you good word of mouth. A good name can help identify your niche (or at least resonate strongly with it).

Now, this isn’t what I suggest for every business. But I think it could be useful to a lot of businesses.

It started when I began to notice a pattern in some business names that grabbed me.

I noticed that certain business names contained two contrasting elements that you normally wouldn’t put together.

In my case, ‘marketing for hippies’.

Now, that has only been my official business name for two and half years. But I’ve been doing it for almost 12 years. So, what was my business name before that?

 . . . Exactly.

No one can remember.

It was ‘Radical Business’. But my website was www.tadhargrave.com (and contained the worst picture of me known to man (and no I won’t show it to you)).

But, when people would ask me, ‘So, what do you do?’ I’d always joke that I did ‘marketing for hippies’. (Actually, I used to joke that I was a drug dealer or a shepherd or a high society jewel thief at first . . . #entertainingforme).

When I’d say, ‘marketing for hippies’ I’d get a few consistent reactions. The first was that they’d laugh. The second was that they’d say, ‘isn’t that kind of an oxymoron?’ or ‘Boy. They sure need that.”

And then I began to hear other names that had me give a similar reaction. A sense of surprise at two contrasting elements together that I wouldn’t have expected to find together. I noticed that those names felt like they had some real energy to them. Some fight. Some vim and vinegar. They gave me a really clear overall feeling of what this business was about. Often in two or three words. So, I started keeping track of them when I heard them.

And I noticed that when a colleague was thinking of naming himself the ‘hippie healer’ that I didn’t like it. It seemed flat. Why? I expect healers to be hippies. There’s no surprise there. It goes with my expectations not against them. It didn’t make me pause or think. Same with ‘heart-healing’ or ‘conscious-healing’. It’s two similar notions. So it feels repetitive. They both disappear.

It can be fun to see if you can weave contrast and conflict into your name. Here’s how it relates to Niche. If a niche is your place in the world . . . and if we all act as a kind of bridge between different communities and worlds – then sometimes that is our niche. We bring the best qualities of each world to the other. Marketing World + Hippie World.

Just food for thought. But you might ask yourself: what are the seemingly contrasting worlds I love being a part of? And could my niche and role be to bring them together?

What follows is the list of business names I collected. Not all of them are real businesses. Some of them are just names I wish I could have given someone’s business (not even saying my idea is a good idea in their case but noticing that this is what I would call it). Where possible, I’ve linked the name to the website. Notice which ones grab your attention.

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The biker shaman is the name I wish I could have given to http://prismhealing.com/ as homeboy used to be a hardcore biker for like four years. And now he’s a shaman! Holy shit.

Kris Karr created a powerful documentary called Crazy Sexy Cancer. I don’t think anyone would ever normally associate sexy with cancer.

Even though I really hate the notion, I saw a group on facebook about the ‘enlightened billionaire. You wouldn’t expect spiritually enlightenment and financial opulence to go together. I personally hate everything about that idea but it’s a good example of what we’re talking about.

Met a fellow in Calgary who used to be a wrestler and now he does meditation trainings and his business name? Wrestling with Consciousness.

One of my pals in Edmonton runs an amazing non profit that brings people powered music and immense, people-engaging creativity to live community events. The Project name? Music is a Weapon. Music + weapons? I’m interested! I like the controversy and conversation this starts. So much better (in my mind) than something like, ‘the community based music project’. Boooooring. As Lucas Coffey, one of the group’s founders puts it, “We never get sick of watching people’s minds twist into knots when we tell them we are “music is a weapon”, then give them a big hug!”

What if you’re a hardcore feminist but you actually love the idea of being a stay at home mom? Well then you’ll love The Radical Homemaker. Or what about the notion of ‘urban homesteading‘. I just saw someone with the twitter name ‘bitchin’ housewife‘.

I like this one too – ‘The Socialchange Diva‘.

Ron Berezan does permaculture and landscaping based on growing food in cities. The natural name? The Urban Farmer.

Want a meditation and mindful living path but find most teachers too dull? You might enjoy www.zenbitchslap.com or Buddhist Bootcamp

Love yoga but tired of going to yoga classes that don’t accommodate the fact that you’re not thin as a twig and have you feel like you don’t belong? Enter Tiina Veer’s amazing Yoga for Round Bodies. But there are so many other interesting examples with yoga too that I’ve heard of: yoga for . . . rednecks, cowboys. Dubstep Yoga. Ganja Yoga. Yoga for Heavy Metal Rockers. Yoga + Chocolate. So many surprising things yoga can be combined with.

The whole Slow Food movement is a mild version of this. We’re a society raised with ‘fast food’ so it can be surprising to hear the words ‘slow food’ together. But it immediately, as a contrast to ‘fast food’ let’s you know what it’s about.

Oxymoron – yoga niches and slow food

Edmonton just got a great new local food restaurant that combines the best sensibilities of the city and the country. It’s called The Prairie Bistro.

Visionary activist Caroline Casey often speaks about the importance of wedding these contrasts in life together. An example she often gives is of becoming a ‘disciplined wild person’.

What about a course called, ‘Dating for Nerds.’

One of my colleagues in Winnipeg just sent me word of a course she was running, ‘Divorcing with Dignity – Learn How to Mindfully Separate and Maintain your Integrity’. When’s the last time you heard of divorce and immediately had the word ‘dignity’ come to mind. Never. That’s when. “We had such a dignified divorce!” said no one ever.

In fact, most of the “_______ for Dummies” books embody this oxymoron principle in a way. The thought is, “I’m a dummy. I could never do or learn this.”

My friend and colleague Jeff Golfman is a passionate raw vegan. He wanted to do some kind of project around that but couldn’t figure out what. We were sitting in his car one day and he said, “I don’t want to write another recipe book. That’s been done. I don’t want to write about the science behind it. That’s already done.” What struck me was that Jeff has one of the coolest lifestyles of anyone I know. He travels a lot. He meets famous people. And it struck me that he had something to say about how to not just be a raw vegan but also how to bring the cool lifestyle piece into it. How do you travel and be vegan? How do you deal with thanksgiving? How do you deal with all the lifestyle issues? How do you not come across as a judgmental prick. “Why don’t you call it something like the cool vegetarian?” And The Cool Vegetarian video blog was born.

Kris Ward runs a business called Abundant Yogi. Simple. Brilliant.

Another colleague has a business called Healers Who Prosper.

I met some young people from Asia who had a project called Peace Revolution. Peace + Revolution? Tell me more.

One of my colleagues toyed with the idea of creating a business called Yoga Tramp because she loved yoga but she also loved partying, sexuality and having fun.

I heard about a website called www.grittyangel.com. That has my interest. I normally don’t associate angels with grit.

One of my dearest colleagues in the world’s websites name says it all www.heartofbusiness.com. Most people see business as heartless. Not Mark Silver. Or what about Enlightened Marketing? Or my colleague Lynn Serafinn who wrote a book called The Seven Graces of Marketing. Or what about www.consciouscorporates.com

I really love the name Selfish Goals that one of my clients was considering for her coaching practice. Most of us are raised to think selfishness is bad. So, to have a website endorsing this idea? Cool. And what about Selfish Giving? Selfish Contribution? Those could work as provocative names too.

And who wouldn’t love a website called Chocolate for Breakfast – Where Pleasure Meets Permission? Choocolate + breakfast? Hello!

Or how about The Blissiplined Life? Bliss + Discipline.

And what about http://www.roguepriest.net. Doesn’t that name immediately give you some ideas of who this priest is what they’re about? You immediately get that they aren’t the usual priest.

The wife of one of my clients had an idea for a business called Compassionate Rebels.

In London, England, there’s a coffee shop called ‘Ethical Addictions‘. The name says it all.

What about the Health Glutton? Or the boxing school in Brazil called Fighting for Peace?

One of my clients had the idea to call her nutrition business The Healthy Hipster. It’s two bits of contrast (party hard hipsters with their tight jeans, penchants for local beer and late night shows) + health. And the name mentions the target group too! #winning

Oakland has City Slicker Farms and The People’s Grocery.

Charles Eisenstein wrote a book called, Sacred Economics.

Dike Drummond burned out years ago as a Doctor and years later has created a business coaching MD’s on how not to burn out called, The Happy MD

Ottawa has a project called Hidden Harvest.

After I published this blog post I began to get some responses with even more ideas.

Karen Bray wrote: “My field is conflict resolution and star mediator Tammy Lenski has already bagged the best name ever – Conflict Zen. I saw what she did there, but it took this blog to realise I could use a similar technique to create something unique for myself. At the moment I’m conflict calming (cos people tell me conflict is scary). But I’m going to play around with some rebranding ideas. The Harmony Warrior, anyone?”

Aruna wrote: “I’ve always liked my business name without really understanding why. Young Yoga Masters is the opposite of what most imagine a yoga master to be. Thanks for the insightful post. I’m going to try this technique in my blog post titles too.”

Bianca Filoteo wrote: “Great post! And I loved that you shared so many other examples niche-focused business names. I came up with mine a few years ago: Video For Shy People. The funny thing was that I was really struggling what to name my business and as I was free-writing about what it would be about “video for shy people” just suddenly appeared. Everyone I’ve met so far has really loved the name :)”

Jaime wrote: “I think I got another one for you. Krister is in the process of changing his blog to www.dancingphysicist.com.”

Tea wrote: “My business name isn’t exactly oxymoronic, but it does bring together two unexpected ideas. The Word Chef was born from a realization that while I would never be a “real” chef, I was certainly someone who could cook up a pretty good marketing message. Words (and pictures) are the ingredients I play with. I think a lot of folks could discover a metaphor for what they do professionally inside of what they love to do for fun.”

Nicky wrote: “And I’d like you to know that: I read your article on Oxymoron’s for names and since them I’m thinking about the name: “Grief Guru” for my program. My friends have been jokingly calling me that. HA! But the premise for me is that each person can be their own Grief Guru as Guru simply means someone who brings in light where there was once darkness. Also toying with GrieveHappy”. I love grievehappy.

Marianne wrote: “My website is Peace Is Sexy; and the sub-categories I’ve got on there are Peace Is Possible, Peace Is Profitable and Peace Is Fun. I always great reactions from that. I just didn’t realize it was also my niche!”

Want to try this with your own business?

Ask yourself . . .

What durogatory and negative qualities are most often associated with the topic you talk about? What qualities do YOU seek to bring in place of that?

Do you bring your boat to a different harbor/community? Do you bring your work to a different crowd who normally isn’t associated with this?

What are the two different worlds you’re trying to bring together?

If you have any other examples of contrasting business names, write them below in the comments.

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Want Help? If you’d like some more direct guidance and hand holding on figuring out your niche then go and check out my Niching for Hippies coaching program http://marketingforhippies.com/niching-for-hippies/

your platform in a single page

paper your platform in a single pageClarity is everything in marketing.

A while ago I wrote a blog post about the importance of developing a clear platform. Your platform is what you’re known for. It’s another way of talking about ‘brand‘. It’s the heart of slow marketing (but also the basis of fast marketing). The challenge that I lay out in that post is that most people choose to be known for only ONE thing – which is the thing they do. But I would submit that there are six things you can be known for.

And if you can clearly articulate them in a single page then you are ready to grow. If you can do it in a single page then everything else will be simple (even if it takes effort).

Always remember: the confused mind says ‘no’.

There are two watchwords for your platform. The first is ‘clarity’. But the second is ‘authenticity‘. It’s the clarity and authenticity of your platform that ultimately makes your business safe to approach and easy to get to know.

And while there’s endless depth you can go into in defining your platform – here’s my down and dirty version. Each of the six elements of the platform has three or four laser focused questions to help you hone in on them. They’re the best questions I know of to get right to the heart of the matter.

If you can answer them and distill it into a single page – you’ll have the clarity you need to grow easily, organically and beautifully.

Before answering these questions I commend reading the following blog posts so that the rest of the questions make sense:

The Journey

The Platform

The Three Foundations of  Thriving Business

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BOAT:

What is it that you do? If I were to look you up in the Yellow Pages or on google what terms would I use? (e.g. plumber, hardware store, massage therapist etc.)

What is your boat built out of? How many hours and how much money has gone into building your business? How much education?

What is most important to your clients when buying what you sell? (either to have or not to have) And how do you deliver that?

If your business were to shut down tomorrow – who would miss you and why?

 

JOURNEY:

What is the journey that you take people on? Fill in the blanks for the ideal kinds of clients you want to have: ‘we work with __________ (kinds of people) struggling with _________ (kinds of problems) and who feel ________ (way about their problem). And what we do it to help them get __________ (result).

Who is a perfect fit for you as a client? Why?

When is the perfect moment for you to enter their life? When is the perfect moment to leave it?

To read more of my blog posts on Niching click here.

 

YOU:

What gives you the credibility to do what you do so well? In what ways have you gone on the journey you’re taking your clients on? What have you had to overcome in order to be offering what you’re offering here and sailing that particular boat?

What qualities do you bring to the table that are different from other people offering similar things?

What are your nerdy interests, hobbies, strange lives you’ve led in the past, interesting social information about you?

 
POINT OF VIEW:
 
Why do most people fail to make this journey? What are they missing?
 
What’s your map/system for getting people from Island A to Island B as quickly, easily and painlessly as possible? How many steps?
 
What’s your core take on this issue? What’s your perspective, philosophy, understanding of this journey?
 
To read more of my blog posts on Point of View click here.

 

WHY:

Why did you start doing what you do?

Beyond money, status etc. what is this business really about for you? What’s the bigger cause it’s a part of?

What is it that you see missing in the world that would help make it more whole?

To read more of my blog posts on developing your Why click here.

 

ISLAND C: THE NEW POSSIBILITY

What is it that you see is possible for your clients that they don’t see is possible yet?

When you went through your journey did anything delightful happen as a result of being on the journey that you didn’t expect that you couldn’t have anticipated when you began?

What do you crave for your clients to have in their life? What’s your fondest wish for them?

What do you see is the future of your industry? What’s coming up next that’s so exciting that most people don’t even know about?

To read more of my blog posts on Island C click here.

Screen Shot 2012 09 26 at 3.09.59 PM your platform in a single pageCASE STUDY: Paolo Donati – Italian Nutritionist - http://discoveritalianfood.com

BOAT: as a qualified natural nutritionist and health coach I help people overcome a variety of health issues and improve their shape using natural foods, supplements and powerful but simple cleansing techniques. I offer live or online consultations and cleansing retreats in my native country, Italy.

ME: With a background in environmental engineering and remediation of contaminated land, at my core I’m a nerd with a true passion for bringing nature back into its pure, uncontaminated state.

I was raised on the Standard Italian Diet (still better than the SAD hey) which made me lethargic, lacking energy, mentally confused and a totally unsociable kid. Somehow I felt that food affected my behaviour and emotional state.

From a very young age I studied what gifts from Nature could make me more healthy and in tune with who I am.

I experimented with different detoxes and type of diets: from macrobiotic, vegan, mediterranean to paleo and weston price type of diets. After giving up the frustrating quest for the perfect diet, I can honestly say I had benefits from all of them. Eventually I started listening to the messages in my body and found an equilibrium that works really well for me. Today my approach to health and nutrition with my clients is absolutely dogma-free.

As a native Italian, I still have a passion for local, traditional Italian food. I love revisiting stunning Italian dishes using alternative ingredients to make them more healthy for us. After all, I believe we can occasionally indulge and feed our spirit more than our body, provided it comes from a clear message within to enjoy and live life more fully, rather than a need for suppression.

JOURNEY: My main journey type is on health. But I also help reach a state of inner peace and greater clarity by working in cleansing and nourishing the body.

Who: I am attracted to people who believe in good old fashioned common sense and trusting their intuition who find themselves experiencing some chronic health issues. They are looking for a holistic body-nurturing approach rather than reductionist conventional treatments. They are also interested in keeping fit and adopting a diet to support their levels of training. Ideally they consider adding at least some animal products into their diet, if not I am more comfortable referring them to a vegan nutritionist.

Problem: chronic fatigue syndromes, digestive problems, depression and so called gut and psychology syndromes, i.e. mental disorders such as autism, schizophrenia, ADHD and others connected to a leaky gut condition.

Result: Renewed physical energy and health, mental balance, clarity. Significant improvements of mental conditions. Toxicity is removed from bowels, liver and other tissues. Feeling more in tune with ourselves and our higher purpose.

POINT OF VIEW: Dieting is for losers… if we don’t first love ourselves, accept our current situation and that we need to take baby steps. Without this fundamental frame most of us will sabotage any attempt to move towards a diet, or anything new in life.

The ‘perfect’ diet is a quest for the holy grail. It really depends on your location on the planet, the season, your curent state of health, your history of health and what you want to achieve. For most of us, the quest for the perfect diet is just an excuse for not taking consistent action.

Elimination is as important as nutrition. The cleanest diet may lead to autointoxication if we don’t support the routes of elimination in the body.

Humans are part of nature and we should be inspired by nature’s rythms when deciding how to live, what to eat and how to eat it.

Your body never works against itself. It always does the best it can to restore its original conditions.

WHY: To continually celebrate and be inspired by the transformation in health and energy of people around me. To support as I can local farmers and food producers so their products not only will improve people’s health but also contribute to restore damaged ecosystems through sustainable farming. When in my home country, I love travelling the Italian countryside to meet local food producers that don’t even know what the Internet is.

ISLAND C: I didn’t expect that by releasing my toxic load I also got rid of old negative emotions I was still holding to. I feel lighter, full of energy and mentally clear. Now that I got past my health issues I’m ready to move on to something new in my life. I feel this food is wholesome and nutritious and I’m naturally drawn to eat it. I’m not influenced by dietary ‘dogmas’ or the latest diet in the media.

 

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Want Help? If you’d like some more direct guidance and hand holding on figuring out your niche then go and check out my Niching for Hippies coaching program http://marketingforhippies.com/niching-for-hippies/

 

case study: 10 lessons on making a no hype compelling sales video

ryan case study: 10 lessons on making a no hype compelling sales videoMy dear friend and colleague Ryan Eliason has put together a video presentation about his upcoming business training for social entrepreneurs. I just finished watching it. And it. is. good.

I want to encourage you to watch this (whether or not you decide to participate in his training). I think this video is a great example of a few key marketing lessons. Ten of them in fact.

I’ve laid out the ten lessons below that I’d love for you to take from this and, as per usual, I’ve loaded this blog with a tonne of links to posts I’ve written on key topics and useful resources to help you get the most out of this as possible.

Context is important here. If Ryan were simply to make this video, put it on his website and hope that people signed up, he’d get very little response. This video is a part of a campaign with a start date and an end date. It is being introduced to people (like you) through people they trust (like me). It’s also being shown to people who have taken part of five very content rich teleseminars that have been leading up to Ryan’s 21 week program. That’s important. People aren’t seeing this video with no context. And they’re only watching it because they’re a socially conscious solopreneur who wants more money and more free time and they are curious about what Ryan has to offer at this point.

There are lots of kinds of videos you can make. You can make a video for your homepage, a bio video, a blog video of just you sharing to the webcam some new thing you’ve learned. But you can also use a video as a direct ‘here’s what I’ve got and here’s how much it is’ offer.

In marketing baseball terms, most people are already on second or third base by the time they watch this video. There’s already at least curiousity but likely some trust and excitment by the time they hit it.

Here’s the video  . . .

Screen Shot 2012 09 26 at 10.53.16 AM case study: 10 lessons on making a no hype compelling sales video

 

LESSON #1: Tone.

Ryan demonstrates how to be respectful, direct, understated, down to earth, grounded and matter of fact in your presentation (vs. over the top, too enthusiastic, pushy, aggressive and hyped up). This is something my colleague Lynn Serafinn wrote about in her book, ‘The Seven Graces of Marketing‘. And I’ve written about it in some blog posts about this idea of resonance and also in a recent blog post ‘Nine Thoughts of Copywriting for Hippies‘. He does this by acknowledging that not everyone will be able to get the same results. He acknowledges the limitations of his own program based on where people are at. To me that is so incredibly credibility building.

 

LESSON #2: Fit.

What if we used marketing as a filtering process of attracting only who’s a perfect fit (vs. trying to sell everyone into your programs). If you’re just in it for money? It’s not a fit. It’s powerful to not only say, ‘Here’s who my program is a fit for,’ but also ‘Here’s who my program is not a fit for.’ People feel immensely respected when you let go of your attachment to making the sale just lay out clearly who your program is a good match for.

 

LESSON #3: Stories.

This video powerfully uses the power of case studies and success stories of your clients (e.g. in his case a naturopath, fair trade tea company CEO and a relationship coach). These establish credibility but also give clarity about who his program might be a fit for. Stories are so powerful in marketing. My colleague Casey Hibbard wrote a brilliant ebook on this at www.storiesthatsellguide.com. And you can also check out the excellent work of Michael Margolis at www.getstoried.com or read my blog posts about using stories effectively in marketing.

 

LESSON #4: Point of View.

Here’s where I think this video really excels. It demonstrates the power of sharing your clear point of view about the best system to get from Island A to Island B.

Ryan does a solid job of laying out his take on why most socially conscious entrepreneurs don’t get the results they are craving. He breaks down the elements (in his case eight of them) and makes the case that if you’re missing even one of these it’s like a leak in your boat (which is a great example of effectively using a metaphor to sum up your business).

And so, if you are missing multiple elements then you have multiple holes in your boat. In my workshops, I will talk about the three foundations of your marketing or the six elements of a successful platform. These types of maps and systems are extremely useful in helping people self diagnose themselves and see if what you’re offering can be a fit. Think also of: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the seven chakras, the five elements of chinese medicine, the four directions etc. Maps.

After all, someone might watch this video and think, ‘You know what? I’m really solid in all eight of these.’ and, wonderfully, realize that Ryan’s program isn’t a fit for them (thus saving dozens of hours and hundreds of dollars that would have been wasted if they’d been hyped or pressured into it.

But, if they are lacking in some of these areas then it’s likely they’ll lean into wanting to work with him. Ryan doesn’t just list the outline of his course and hope that people ‘get it’. He makes his case. He says, ‘Here’s what I think you need to make this journey and here’s why I think you need it.’ Again, he’s very direct. And direct is respectful.

 

LESSON #5: Sharing your Why.

Ryan does a great job hear of repeatedly coming back to his ‘why’ of making the world a better place through seeing socially conscious businesses succeed. His why comes through in a number of ways. Many programs wax on and on about ‘don’t you yearn to make a difference? have a bigger impact?’ and it honestly makes me gag sometimes because it seems soooooo overly, earnestly sincere and like it’s trying so hard not to be marketing.

I’d rather someone just made their case directly. And, frankly, I don’t think trying to sell someone on your services based on altruism and ‘doing the right thing’ ever works. People do things because there’s something in it for them. Find that. Speak to that. But, if people get that you can help them get a result they’re craving and relevance has been established then your ‘why’ (the deeper cause of your business) becomes incredibly compelling. How does Ryan communicate his why?

It comes through in his voice.

His program is targeted towards socially conscious entrepreneurs.

His case studies of socially conscious entrepreneurs.

It’s not enough to just mention your ‘why’ once. If you really want it to land for people then you need to come back to that again and again and again.

 

LESSON #6: Speak to the Impact.

Ryan doesn’t just give his map – he reemphasizes the impact of what happens if people follow his kind of advice (whether from him or someone else) and when they don’t. The basic formula is, “If you don’t implement these these then ______ is likely to happen but if you do implement these things then _______ is likely to happen.”

You need to speak to the impact. You need to speak directly to ‘here’s what’s in it for you.’ If all Ryan did was speak to how cool he thought his program was he’d lose people. And that’s a huge mistake that so many people make. Instead of talking about the journey they take people on from Island A to Island B – they talk about the boat. And, as I wrote about in a recent blog post, no one cares about your boat initially.

Even the title of Ryan’s program, “Double Your Income and Your Time Off” speaks directly to this. People don’t want to sign up for a business coaching program. But people do want more money and more free time. They want to feel more confident. They want to make a bigger different. Speak directly to what people are craving.

 

LESSON #7: Anticipate Concerns.

Ryan anticipates a very likely concern that will come up for most people who’d be drawn to his course, ‘But my business is different.’ And then he addresses it directly. If there are common questions and concerns that come up from people, risks they’re afraid they’ll have to take in if they work with you, address those head on. It will have your sales letters feel like much more of a conversation because you’re acknowledging what’s happening for them on their side.

 

LESSON #8: Know Your Niche.

Okay. This should be #1 really. This program is focused on a particular niche. It’s a bit broad but it seems to work for him. It’s for socially conscious solopreneurs. It’s what I’d call a big circle (and in the video he lists lots of the little circles that fit inside of it). You can read my thoughts on Big & Little Circles in niching here. But Ryan is not niching by industry or age or geography (demographics) he’s niching by type of business (socially conscious solopreneurs), a core problem (not enough clients, time or money) and focuses heavily on psychographics (the internal values, worldview and communities they’re a part of).

 

LESSON #9: Establish the Value. 

Ryan takes the time to go through his program and make sure that people get the impact each piece could have. He makes sure that people know how much each piece is worth on its own so that, when you get to the final price, it’s clear that you’re getting good value for your money. If I had to sum up marketing in a single sentence, I’d borrow Mac Ross’s words, ‘Marketing is about establishing the value beyond the immediately apparent.’ Don’t assume that people ‘get’ how valuable your stuff is. If they don’t appreciate it, that’s your fault, not theirs.

Ryan also does something compelling in the powerful reframing of the cost of his course as an investment. And he doesn’t do this in an offhanded way. He makes the case systematically. Communicate the value of what you do.

 

LESSON #10: Video Sales Letters.

This lesson is sort of implicit in the presentation itself but I want to flag it.

Your programs that you offer likely have a lot of of aspects to them. They’re not so simple. And, sometimes, it just takes a while to really communicate everything you’ve put together to help people. But many people are sick of the long scrolling sales letters. So, Ryan lays out another option in dealing with this – put it into a video. If you were to take the transcript of this video and put it into a long copy sales letter – it would be pretty long. But, for some reason, video is often easier to digest for people. It’s something to consider as an option. You can read my posts about writing sales letters here.

If you’d like to see other posts of mine on the power of video marketing just click here.

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Want Help? If you’d like some more direct guidance and hand holding on figuring out your niche then go and check out my Niching for Hippies coaching program http://marketingforhippies.com/niching-for-hippies/

 

if i had to start again

I just saw this video from my colleague Nancy Juetten. She’s someone I’ve featured on my blog a number of times, especially around writing your bio.

I wanted to share it because I think it’s a great example of a few things . . .

First of all, it’s a super cool format – having things be handdrawn and mixed with photos.

Second of all, I think it has a very important lesson in it about achieving financial sustainability and a mistake that a lot of people, myself included, have made.

Thirdly, these kinds of videos can be a great way for your clients to meet and get to know you. What I love is the story she shares in the beginning about her struggle and how her business came to be. It’s so relatable and honest. I totally felt for her. The story made her immediately much more human and warm. The tone was slow, not hyped up, not trying to ‘convince me’ of anything. Just some honest sharing and story telling.

Here’s my only critique (in case you’re thinking about doing a video like this).

After a minute or two I found myself wondering, ‘What’s in it for me?’ Was this just going to be a video of Nancy sharing her story or would it be something that would help me. I would have loved to see it be a bit clearer. If this was a video for her bio or ‘about me’ page, that’s perfect.

If it’s going to be more of a ‘viral’ video she’d hope people might spread around I’d love to see it start with ‘Hi there, my name is Nancy Juetten and, in this short video, you’re going to learn three critical lessons about growing your business, things I wish I’d done when I started.’ That kind of thing.

 

case study: hidden gems

Screen Shot 2012 08 20 at 4.50.28 PM 136x300 case study: hidden gemsI met Mark Volmer, of Hidden Gem Healing in 2011 at some point. And I had the experience of instantly liking and trusting him. There’s something about people who are so comfortable in their own skin (not posturing or collapsing) that it has us all relax.

He ended up coming to one of my weekend workshops and he shared his fascination with the idea that what most holistic practitioners need is to bring more of themselves into their practice. I speak about this often in workshops when I talk about the six things your business can be known for. But I was so fascinated by his point of view on this piece because I feel like it relates so strongly to the notion of niche marketing which I’ve written so much about recently. Especially as it relates to this notion of niching from the inside-out.

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What is the name of your project?

Hidden Gem Healing

What’s the response been so far?

Incredible.

I’ve been brought me to tears on numerous occasions after hearing feedback from others. From my vantage point, I can’t think of many things more rewarding than seeing other holistic practitioners realize they’re already an expert and then setting about sharing their unique gifts with the world. I love it!

What’s the story of how this came about? What was the need you saw in the community that it emerged from?

TO be entirely honest, this came about through my own frustrations.

During my educational career, there seemed to be this belief system that stated: “You won’t be a good acupuncturist/healer until you’ve practiced for 10 years and taken a number of continuing education workshops. I observed myself and nearly all of my classmates on an insatiable quest to acquire more knowledge through books, workshops, lectures, and the like.

Constantly reaching outside of ourselves.

Enter Hidden Gem Healing.

I believe that each one of our incredibly unique lives has been an ideal training ground. Based on your own particular set of experiences, beliefs, values, dreams, etc. you’re positioned to be an incredible resource to a very specific group of people. My job comes down to lending assistance in seeing how the seemingly unrelated events in your life cultivated a deep wisdom within. Through this, i feel one gets empowered – no longer is there a reaching outside for information – you already know.

It’s so beautiful to witness.

Can you share a few examples of how your project works?

At the present moment, I’ve divided my offerings to address many of the weaknesses I found within my own practice. The intro workshop really helps paint a stunning picture of how your life is of such great learning for others.

From the intro evening, we can dive more in-depth with 1-on-1 session which I feel really help uncover those gems hidden within. I also offer sessions to personalize the intake forms practitioners use. Adjusting the form to be in alignment with your practice and beliefs. As well, unique ways to follow up with clients that feel super resonant with you.

A small example of something we might work with: Intake forms.

Intake forms are SO bland!

They seem to be a reflection of our schooling but so far from an extension of our personal beliefs on healing.

These forms can easily become a wonderful tool to be used in the healing equation. If I was to use myself as an example, a question I love is: what does perfect health look like to you? So often i find we don’t even know what our ideal picture of health looks like; which of course makes it rather hard to navigate to that destination. My friend Jana loves to ask: ” What would you treating yourself look like? How would the treatments progress?” This question is so beautiful – puts the client right into the driver seat.

Another colleague asks: “What activity really connects you with yourself?” “What is the feeling that comes up during this activity?”

After gathering the info from the above questions, she asks: ” Is that the same feeling you’d have when you’re feeling healthy?”

So cool.

When I got asked that question it was a total realization for me. I never connected the dots  – the feeling of freedom I got from being outside was also the feeling I was lacking when i wasn’t feeling healthy.

To summarize, I would say that in addition to a client’s health history and current/past signs and symptoms, a personalized intake can really build boat-loads of trust and confidence. With these two key ingredients, I’d say we have a beautiful recipe for taking treatments to those ever elusive “deep” levels.

Here’s a story:

A colleague of mine in the acupuncture world has just recently set about a project that has me so excited to see it being shared.

Kelsey has had Chron’s disease for about ten years – a gastrointestinal malady that has the medical community rather stumped. She certainly isn’t claiming to have a cure, but, she does have a TON of first hand experience on the subject.

Her current venture involves setting up a bi-weekly blog post detailing weekly experiences.

Specifically, her objective and subjective changes noticed while trying different remedies. Currently she is detailing her experiences with acupuncture and chinese herbals. In addition – the piece I totally love – she is including a recording of how her emotions tie into the symptoms.

Personally, I love this facet of medicine, I think its a missing piece of our medical system. Kelsey’s plan is to offer the information on her blog freely to those afflicted with chron’s. Using the blog as a form of marketing for her acupuncture practice; a practice that is focused on treating those with gastrointestinal disorders.

Another story:

A massage therapist I’ve worked with has started sailing her practice in a direction that I feel will be of such benefit to many people. She sees massage therapy as a modality that clients come to even when they’re not sick/injured – preventative medicine if you will. This puts her in a position to get a very strong objective sense of a person’s overall health; usually before any serious illness has occurred. This is different than most practitioners who usually see clients only when something is out of balance; making it rather tricky to get an objective perspective on their health.  
 
Upon doing the workshop together, she found that one of her hidden gems was socializing – for her, getting to know and interact with people is a form of healing – especially other holistic practitioners. She has now taken her massage practice and combined it with her love of socializing to offer a product that I feel is totally unique.
 
Her platform is this: a massage therapist who knows the city’s holistic practitioner community so well, that should you require any treatment beyond massage, she’ll know exactly who to recommend and why.
 
I love this!
 
Clients who would normally never go see a practitioner of reiki, shamanism, osteopathy, etc. (most likely because they don’t know these modalities exist) are now doing so because of a trusting recommendation. It’s so cool observing how this idea satiates her need for interacting with new people and directs clients down a path of healing that they would have unlikely ever experienced without her referrals.
 

Who do you find it’s working best for?

In the broad sense, holistic practitioners.

If we’re to focus in a little more, I’d say these practitioners are feeling a little burnt out or tired. As though they’ve had a little drop in the inspiration they had upon starting their career.

How did you promote this in the beginning? What were the top three most successful approaches at the start of it?

In the beginning, I had never done anything like this ever before. I figured I’d be working in a clinic as an acupuncturist. This was a whole new world. I was like the little mermaid. Needless to say, the first bit of promoting had my stomach in knots. I used email marketing and facebook invites/groups to get the ball rolling. That, and a lot of hoping.

What are the top three most effective ways you’ve found to market this?

Now, I seem to be in an entirely different relationship with marketing. It no longer feels like a separate entity from my business. I think this is in part due to the way i go about it. The number 1 way for me is sitting down for tea with another holistic practitioner. We have a delightful conversation that has nothing to do with selling – I revel in the experiences. Using specific hubs Has been of greatest benefit to finding these individuals eager to have tea with. In addition, i would say that my website and keeping in email contact have also worked well as marketing tools.

What are the three biggest lessons you’ve learned along the way?

#1 – Everyone is SO damn amazing: It inspires the hell out of me when others share their healing gifts and how they plan on offering it to the world.

#2 – Humility: I don’t have the answers. Often all i need to do is listen and reflect back what i hear – I think this is part of the secret!

#3 – Acceptance: An inner knowing that everyone needs to be right where they’re at. I find this frees me from trying to do or change things.

At it’s heart, what is this project/business really about for you? (beyond money, status and such).

Ultimately this comes down to wisdom. At the heart of these teachings, this is about remembering you already know. Knowledge is great and I feel has its definite place, but the deep inner wisdom you posses from first hand experience is of far greater importance.

If people want to find out more about your project, support it or get involved – what should they do?

I reckon the best bet would be to check out my website: http://hiddengemhealing.com/

There you can find my contact info and get a much more detailed description of what it is I do.

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Want Help? If you’d like some more direct guidance and hand holding on figuring out your niche then go and check out my Niching for Hippies coaching program http://marketingforhippies.com/niching-for-hippies/