Kelly on Wounds

Kelly 1 resized 200x300 Kelly on Wounds

I’d been hearing about Kelly Tobey for years.

He’s a leading figure in the Calgary personal growth scene. And then recently, while preparing for my Niching for Hippies course I saw that he was leading a workshop called ‘Shifting From Wounds to Assets”. And it reminded me of the blog post I’d written about wounds as niche. People struggle for years with their niche and often discover that their best niche is a younger version of them.

What followed was an extended interview happening over the space of months via facebook messages. I hope you enjoy it.

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Tad: You’re leading a workshop called, “shifting from wounds to assets” what’s it all about?

Kelly: In my journey of working with people for over 20 years one thing has shown itself over and over. From reading some of your writings Tad it seems that you have come across similar patterns. 

The workshop gives people a chance to look at their past wounds with the purpose of getting conscious about what assets have developed from their experiences. Then looking at how they are actually using those assets now and how they can utilize them more in the future if they choose to. 

I have found that many people just view the points of trauma or difficulties in their lives as things they have to get past and do their best to forget about. Instead this approach is one of uncovering any value that was gained and using it, rather than burying the experience entirely.  

In the process of recovering from the places where we have been traumatized or wounded we develop inner strengths and gain wisdom. On a personal level these strengths become assets in our ability to take on life’s challenges that we are faced with. Not only do we now know that we can recover from hurts but we also have tools that can be used to help us move forward with more ease. 

On a relational level we can now offer support, feedback and encouragement to others that are going through similar challenges. Our opportunity to be in service in such a way feeds the soul. It gives a purposefulness to the hard times we have gone through. In studies done on how to create more happiness in our lives, one of the keys to happiness is to be in meaningful service to others. As well it builds a sense of self-value and esteem.  

Tad: What’s the story of this workshop? And what’s your personal connection to this material?

Kelly: I will give you an example from my own life that might bring grounding and clarity to the concepts I am referring to. 

In my family system I had a mother that was overly critical. How that wounded me was that I had very low esteem as I felt no matter how well I did it was never good enough. This led to two major dysfunctional behaviours in me. The first was to go into “people pleasing” always looking for ways to make other people happy in hopes that they would then like me and the criticism would stop. 

The major draw back with that approach to life was that it took me further and further away from my core self. I was not focused on what actions (or non-actions) were true for me at my essence. Instead I was focused on looking for what others wanted. As a result much of the time I was betraying what was true to me. So even when I was getting approval from others for doing what they wanted, my esteem was still being damaged because I was betraying myself. 

This inappropriate sacrifice for others was building an internal anger. Which I tried to bury because nice guy people pleasers were not allowed anger. Eventually this led to the second major dysfunctional behaviour. Tired of sacrificing myself and tired of still getting mother’s criticism no matter how hard I tried to be perfect for her, I flipped over into rebellion.

I attempted to bury my underlying desire to be loved by my mother by pretending that I did not care if she loved me and approved of me or not. And in an attempt to prove it I went into fierce rebellion. Doing anything that I knew would horrify my mother and threaten her good standing with her religious friends.

Again, like with my people pleasing behaviour, there was no discernment about what actions (or non-actions) would be congruent with my essence. My rebellion took me further and further into self-destruction eventually landing me in solitary confinement in prison. 

Eventually, dissatisfied with the results from both of the dysfunctional behaviours I went on a journey of seeking a different path. Gradually I learned new ways of being that were based in being true to the essence of who I am and living a purposeful life that reflects that to the best of my ability. To explain all the steps in that would take a book or two so I will just jump to the results. 

Healing from my own wounds and the resulting dysfunctions called on lots of inner strength and fortitude. I gained a lot of wisdom along the way. I learned tools that I have been able to apply in facing other personal challenges. 

I ended up working in Group Homes with “delinquent” youngsters that had been in trouble with the law or that their parents did not know how to handle. I now had assets to share with these youngsters because of coming out the other side from similar wounds. And I had a depth of compassion and understanding that “book learned” social workers in the Group Home system could only touch on. Plus I was a living example for them, that it is possible to change out of the rebellious behaviours and have a more satisfying life. So I had great results with the youngsters I was working with.

That is an example from one of the many traumas I experienced. 

Although each trauma was different, the layout of working through them was the same, examine how I was wounded, do the recovery work, look at the gifts that evolved, and then utilize those gifts in my life.

So that is my personal connection to this material and why I like to empower others with exploring their own process through these steps. 

Tad:  What is the connection you see between wounds and assets?

Kelly: I think in some ways I have already answered that question. To recap > if we do the work to heal from our wounds it calls up our inner gifts and strengths. Along the journey we pick up wisdom. So the wounds have the potential to lead us into developing assets. 

On the other hand if we just attempt to bury or ignore our wounds, not only do we not develop the potential assets but we are dooming ourselves to living out dysfunctional coping strategies that are driven by the subconscious mind because of the unwillingness to bring it all to conscious awareness for healing. 

For example if I did not have the courage to face the buried pain of being raised with criticism and receiving corporal punishment if I made a mistake, then I would still be running self-destructive people pleasing and/or rebellious behaviours.  

Tad:  Do you see a connection between our wounds and our work in the world?

Kelly: Certainly the assets we gain by working through our wounds can give us great tools to apply in our working lives. 

Here is an example that came out of a recent workshop. I wont use names as I want to respect privacy. 

When he went back to examine some of the old wounding, one of the men in the workshop remembered that he was not allowed to draw and create art because of his parents’ religious beliefs and their belief that art had no value. This set him up to suppress one of his great inner gifts. Eventually an uncle “smuggled” drawing materials to him and encouraged him to draw. So he began to draw again in secrecy late at night with a flashlight under his blankets. 

Through time he did enough work on breaking free of the wounding that as an adult he has been able to use the gained assets to make a living as an artist. Yet it is not in the field of art that he has the highest passion for. 

He was still carrying some of the old wounding when it came to expressing his talents in the field fine arts. Although highly talented in this area, for sometime he has been concerned that if he were to do his fine arts full time that he would then be depending on it for money. He was then concerned that it would cut into the spiritual flow and connection he has with the fine arts.

In the workshop he saw that as a result of the wounding, as a child he had learned that his full passion for art and the spiritual connection to it had to be kept secret (under the blankets). So far he had recovered enough to go into a branch of art that he could make a living at but the possibility of going fully into his fine arts raised subconscious fears planted by the initial wounding. 

How it played out was that so much time was spent on the art he was doing for income that his fine art kept being put aside. Then when he would finally start to spend time with his fine art, he was so hungry for the experience that he would lose sense of time and other commitments. He just loved his spiritually connected experience so much that nothing else would matter. Then when he would finally come out of the fine art experience he would face complaints from the people in his life that had been ignored. His ex-wife had even framed his fine arts as being his “mistress”. His wounded child self was taking the complaints as the same old message > that art was bad. 

So in his workshop exploration he became clearer that of course the fine art was not bad and did not need to get him “in trouble”. He was just unconsciously setting up a replaying of that scenario from his past wounding. The replaying was reinforcing the old message that embracing his fine art fully would lead to punishment. 

With this new found awareness, if he wanted he could use some time management. Portion feeding time for his ongoing desire for the fine arts. By not putting it off for extended periods he would not end up so starved for the experience that he would forget about his other time commitments. 

As a result of these awarenesses he has already started to unravel some of the limitations from the old wounding. Soon after the workshop he was fulfilling a contract to paint a fine art mural on an inside wall of a public building. And told me he was having a blissful experience doing it!! 

Another step towards opening to his fine art becoming more and more visible to the public rather than “hidden under a blanket”. And knowing that receiving acknowledgement and money does not have to take away from the sacred experience > that belief was just an old tape from the past. 

To address your question “Do you see a connection between our wounds and our work in the world?” I would suggest that some of the most deeply satisfying vocations can come from applying the assets we have gained out of the process of healing our wounds. That process can be seen as a training ground for developing our gifts. We are always going to deliver our best work when offering something that parallels our own personal experience. Sure we can bring value into the work place as a result of formal education yet by itself it pales in comparison.

So for example lets look at someone that went through the trauma of car crash and physically damaged their body. Then they were able to heal themselves through an array of nutrients and physical exercises. For them to transmute that experience into a job such as setting up a clinic that specializes in vehicle crash recovery could be very fulfilling. They could share their wisdom from the grounding of their own experience.  Who to relate better to the clients than someone who has travelled a similar path. Someone who can relate closely with empathy and understanding. Someone who can be encouraging through the difficult times and be a living example of the results.  

Tad:  What is the outline of the steps you think people need to go through in order to transform their wounds into gifts?

Kelly: I wont attempt to cover all the possible steps involved as there are a great variety and many of them are dependent on what the wounding was. 

I will touch on some. One is to not bury the wound. If it stays in the subconscious it will not heal. Like a physical cut, you may cover it with a bandage for a while but eventually you need to open the wound to air for it to complete it’s healing. 

Another is to seek help. We may be able to heal some wounds on our own but it is so much quicker when we reach out for help. 

Another key point that eluded me for years is that traumas are going to have an emotional component. For years I attempted to heal wounds in myself and in clients with mind alone. Assuming that we could think ourselves into full recovery. I couldn’t understand why dysfunctional patterns would persist even when we knew mentally that the patterns were not serving. Why did we not just stop the behaviour if we knew better? Finally I came to grips with the fact that traumas have an impact on our emotional body. And that emotions are involved in our behaviours behind the scenes. 

Example: If I wanted to create an intimate partnership but kept running behaviours that pushed people away. With my mind I could analyze the behaviours and see what ones do not work for creating partnership. I could tell myself that I am not going to keep running those behaviours. Yet I may find that try as I might, I could only temporarily stop the behaviours before they came back or they were replaced with other behaviours that pushed potential intimates away. 

If I were to look deeper I may call up memories of past relational traumas. Perhaps I had a break up that involved being betrayed. If I were to acknowledge the underlying emotions I would see that I was deeply hurt by the experience. But perhaps I was raised to not acknowledge feelings of grief. Maybe I got the message of keep a stiff upper lip and move on. So I never went into the feelings of grief, gave them full airtime, or allowed them to be expressed and healed. 

As a result, in the present even though I would consciously want an intimate relationship my subconscious would be doing its best to protect me from getting into another situation where I might fall in love but then be betrayed again and have to feel grief. So my subconscious would make sure that I kept acting out behaviours that would push a potential partner away. Because I had been trained to regard grief as something that needed to be suppressed and feared, I could not risk another event that might activate more grief to add to the grief I was already suppressing.

So without doing the required emotional work I would stay stuck in the effects of the wound.    

Tad:  Can you share three stories of people you’ve worked with and how their wounds were turned into gifts? and what was the impact of that?

Kelly: Hee hee, I guess I got ahead of you as I have given you a couple of examples while responding to earlier questions. But yes I can give you more examples. 

Of course one of the people I have worked with is myself so I will give another example from my own life that fits nicely into what I was just sharing about the importance of emotional work. 

Before I go into explaining the trauma I will give you some background. I had spent my life disengaged from my emotional body. I had trained myself in what I now refer to as spiritual bypassing. That was the art of telling myself that I did not need to feel grief over my losses because in spirit we are all one so nothing is ever lost anyway. At the time I did not realize it was just another tool for suppressing emotion.  

My partner Dianne, a friend of ours Verna and myself were out for a day of rock climbing. We made it to the top feeling the elation of completing a brand new route. We unroped from each other and sorted out our gear preparing to walk along the top of the cliff to a place were we could do the 300-foot rappel back to the base of the cliff. Verna walked in front, followed by myself and Dianne brought up the rear. At one point I heard from behind Dianne say “oh shit”. I turned around to see what she was expressing about. My brain could not compute at first because when I turned she was no where to be seen. Then with shock I realized what had happened. She had stumbled and fallen over the edge of the cliff. The cliff at that point was overhung so we could not see the part of the cliff directly below us. We called out but heard no replies from Dianne. 

We set up a repel station so we could drop over the cliff on our remaining rope and to find her. Dianne had the other rope over her shoulder when she fell. We were hoping that it might have caught on something. Because of the distance Verna and I had to continue to reset new repels as we continued our descent. With each passing one the dread loomed larger as it meant Dianne had fallen a greater and greater distance. 

It was dark by the time we finally reached the cliff base. We started walking a grid back and forth. Eventually we came across her lifeless body. As we sat beside Dianne under the starry sky I broke open emotionally. These feelings were much too big for me to suppress. 

So obviously that experience was a trauma point. As it turned out I reached out for support and found it in the form of a facilitator that was intimately familiar with the emotional body. He led me to see the importance of needing to heal the emotional body as one of the key components to a fuller recovery from trauma. Up until that point my work with people had only been based in psychology, spirituality and body care. I could facilitate some results but without recognizing it I was missing a key component to part of what we are as humans > our emotional bodies.  

So now that I saw the importance I veraciously studied the art of working with the emotions. In her death Dianne had given me one of the most important gifts of my life. Not only had she facilitated the opening of my emotional life, transforming me into a much more fulfilled human being, but she had instigated me into developing the integration of emotional intelligence into my healing practise. This grew the effectiveness of my working with people exponentially. Her death rippled out through my transformed worked to touch the heart and soul of many, many people since. I will be forever grateful to her. 

Here is another example, this time from a person that I have worked with. Her trauma came in the form of being scapegoated in her family. Not being seen or heard in the way she would have hoped. The isolation only grew when her parents separated. 

In the process of healing her own history she was drawn to doing rebirthing work with me. This led to further study of childhood traumas and to research into a variety of parenting techniques and birthing processes. She used these more organically natural techniques in birthing her own son. 

The healing of her trauma of being poorly parented has led her to learn many skills and now she works as a Dula in service to other families in the process of giving birth to their children. She approaches it with a huge heart full of loving care. 

Tad since you first invited me to do this interview with you, I have explored a bit of the work that you do. So I know that you too see the value of people doing work that flows out of their personal life experiences. You point out how much more connected one can be to their client when fulfilling a need that is based in a personal experience. 

I want to thank you for encouraging people in this manner as I feel it will bring both them and their customers more satisfaction. 

I realize that most of your clients are coming to you for help with their businesses, yet I want to add here that for anyone that has not yet figured out a way to turn your gifts into your vocation, I would still encourage you to find places where you can give them. Perhaps it is with friends, perhaps by volunteering on the side. But know that if you find a way to give from the gifts you have gained through personal experiences and that are connected to the essence of who you are, your life is going to be filled with even more fulfillment. 

Tad: When you speak about becoming a people pleaser and ‘nice guy’ it strikes me that you must have learned a great deal about building rapport with people, setting a relaxed vibe, diffusing conflict in that process. And I imagine those same skills that were a part of unhealthy patterns for you, now used consciously are part of what make you such a wonderful facilitator. Would you say that’s true?

Kelly: Yes I would agree to the truth of that and not just in myself. What I have come to see in working with people is that any trauma or wound that we are met with leads to us coming up with a coping strategy. Somewhat simplified, our copying strategy will have two sides to it. 

One is that it will be rooted in an inner strength and/or gift that will be creatively used to attempt to deal with the wounding and protect us from similar wounding. So using the example of the “people pleaser”, it has all the traits that you referred to such as rapport building, bringing calmness to situations, diffusing conflict, as well as ability to read people and intuit what they want or need.

The second part is that when the “gift” goes sideways it turns into a dysfunction. And it is quite likely that we will have some of these dysfunctions blended in to our behaviours because typically we are reacting to a trauma unconsciously as apposed to us consciously deciding how to cope. Because it is unconscious reaction we can have “sideways” behaviours mixed in without even knowing it. 

So for instance as a people pleaser, I had the gift of actually knowing how to please people and be in service to them BUT one of the ways it went sideways was that if any situation had elements of the original wounding, I would be acting out of a fear reaction rather than a conscious response. 

So for example one of the dysfunctions is to sacrifice what would be true to me in an attempt to make someone else happy (in unconscious hopes that if I was able to please them they would not wound me). But in the self-betrayal I would actually end up wounding myself. Because when I am not being true to my own integrity I am not in alignment with inner peace and harmony. 

This comes back to the importance of addressing and working through our wounds. In the process of healing the wounds we become conscious of what our unconscious coping mechanisms were. Now with the clarity of conscious awareness we can pick and choose between which behaviours are appropriate and which ones are not serving us.   

Tad: And it also seems like you really help people who struggle as you struggled to feel ‘enough’. That seems like a clear example of a direct connection between your wound and your ‘wand’ as they say.

Kelly: Hee hee I had never heard the term “your wound and your wand”, it has a nice ring to it. 

Yes, again I agree with your observation. Because I choose to work through the wounding of my self-worth and self-esteem, as I continue to learn how to heal the damage in myself, I continue to learn tools that have the possibilities of serving others as well. And all this gets amplified in a workshop setting because of the strength of intention. Participant’s intention to strengthen their acknowledgment of self-worth and my intention to share what I have learned along the path.  

Tad: And, related to that, do you feel like the gifts come from the compensating mechanisms or from the healing from them specifically?

Kelly: I suspect that the gifts are inherent in us, and that dealing with life’s challenges calls them to the forefront. As you have likely seen, different people can face almost identical challenges, yet the internal strengths they call on to face the challenge might be quite different. 

Perhaps in some cases the gifts would lay dormant until we are faced with a challenge that requires them to surface. As hard as it is to experience traumas, it might be that if we have the support and willingness to work through them, that they accelerate us coming into our wholeness. 

Tad: I’m wondering if you feel like the path of healing and connecting with our inner nature IS the gift we get from our wounds (and so the gift is always inherently about the discipline and dedication to healing in some way?) or if it’s the compensating mechanisms and defences we’ve created that we are now able to consciously redirect that is where the gifts come from in it – so that we look at how we dealt with our wounds (poorly) and find ways that those same poor behaviours can be ultimately used for good? I’m curious what your take on that is.

Kelly: Hmmm, looks like I jumped ahead with my previous response as I think your question was already answered. It seems to me that the gifts are inherent in us and can be developed whether we have trauma to stimulate them or not, yet it is only a theory, I am not 100% sure on that.  

Tad: I know for myself, I have had the wound of not feeling ‘cool’ for a lot of my life. And that had me try ‘too hard’ to be cool and come across as ‘try hard’ to people. And that felt painful. Which had me feel uncool. And made me try even harder. And part of being uncool was learning how to map rooms to see who the cool people were. Unconsciously, that was a disingenuous pattern. But now, as I work to build connections with key hubs around sustainability and local food and good things in Edmonton – those same skills of mapping out key players is actually a beautiful gift to the community. 

Kelly: Yes Tad, great example of what we are talking about. 

Tad: When you speak of the tragedy of your friend falling to her death – it strikes me that you found a beautiful meaning in it that honoured her life and its loss. Is this a core part of your work? Helping people find a meaning in it?

Kelly: I do not know if that can be considered the core of my work but yes it is safe to say that it is a core part. I think that it is great to find deeper levels of meaning when they are available to us. It can settle the hungry mind and in some situations reformulate the emotional impact of events. 

Yet there is also a lot to be said for standing in the middle of the mystery of life. I have noticed in myself and in some others that it is easy to get “addicted” to having answers, even to the point of being in discomfort or disarray if no answers are forth coming. I find that sometimes it serves me to invite in answers if they will serve the highest good, yet in the meantime to let go of the demand for answers and just bask in a space wonderment. The unfolding of the unpredictability of life can bring lots of “juice” to our experience. I notice that the more I trust myself to be able to deal with any of life’s challenges, the more relaxed I am with the unfolding. 

On the other hand if I don’t feel safe with life, then my search for meaning is fear based, full of angst, and with an underpinning of wanting to know in hopes that the knowledge will allow me to control things. Fear tells me that if I can control everything I can be safe. 

Trust tells me that I can call on inner and outer resources that will carry me through anything that arises, making it safe to flow through as the mystery reveals itself moment by moment.  

Tad: I’ve heard it said that our ideal niche is often a younger version of ourselves – does that feel true for you? Like, I felt uncool when I was a young man, but now, older and wiser, I might have a lot to offer to a young man who feels uncool. A woman who struggled with body issues as a teen might be the perfect person, once she’s grown and healed enough, to help other young women on the same journey. I did a lot of pushy sales stuff, and now I help people who are struggling with how to be authentic in sales and marketing. There’s this idea that much of the purpose of growing up is to become the adult whose support we were most needing when we were growing up. That, when we’re lost in our direction in life, we can often look back in time at who we used to be and where we used to be and offer help to those people.

Kelly: Thanks, now I am clearer on the point you were asking about. Yes, I am in agreement with that principal, in fact it ties into a healing process that often gets used in my work. I have notice that for our elder, present self to just have the knowledge of how we needed to be treated in our past times of crisis, is just part of the process of cleaning up the “damage”. Without further steps, the younger parts of ourselves can stay in a traumatized state even once our adult self knows better. So it can be useful for a person to go into a meditative state and call up the memory of the trauma point, including all the emotions that were activated. Once accessed they can use creative imagination to picture their wiser adult self travelling back through time and stepping in as an advocate for the younger self. 

So for example I have done this myself by using memory to go back to a time when my mother was beating me using corporal punishment. I saw that as a child I was traumatized by the pain. That I was confused that someone that supposedly loved me was using physical violence because of a mistake she assumed I made. I saw that in my young mind I was making up the story that I did not have any rights over my own sovereign space, my own body. I was being taught that if someone was angry at me, that they had the right to physically attack me, criticize me and shame me. And I saw that as a result my child self was feeling a mixture of helplessness, sadness and anger about what was happening. 

While still holding that image, it was overlaid with my present imagination. That imagination was of my adult self dropping into the scene, taking my younger self into my arms away from my mother, telling her she could no longer physically abuse this child, telling my younger self that I was going to be here and now stand up for Kelly, making openhearted boundaries whenever needed so no one gets to abuse us again. 

From this place of safety I visualized my child and adult self sending loving energy to the essence of my mother while at the same time saying no to her inappropriate behaviours. 

As I am doing this I am holding the consciousness of my adult self and child self at the same time and allowing them to both express through my present self. So here I am with all this going on internally while in present time I am weeping the tears of my child self. The tears he never got to cry while he was being violated, as well as his tears of relief that someone had finally seen him and cared enough to step in with the love and care that he had needed. 

So one might ask, what was the point of doing all that. Well the point is that prior to doing that kind of inner work, in my everyday life, if I ran into situations that had elements of what happened when I was a child, I would unconsciously go into that childhood assumption that I had to put up with aggression from other people. It wasn’t as extreme as me being physically hit, but it did manifest as me collapsing and not standing up for myself. Especially in the face of women that reminded me of my mother 

So I was stunted in a child state when facing situations that triggered associations to the past events. Because all this was playing out subconsciously below my awareness, all that I was seeing in my adult life was that I could be manipulated by people that showed aggression. That I lacked boundaries and would collapse into a passive state. Or if I were pushed too far I would flip to the other pole and become aggressive (unconsciously fuelled by the unresolved anger I had at my mother). 

So in present time, logically my adult self had the intellectual knowledge that I had the right to my sovereign space. My adult knew that no one had the right to be abusive towards me, BUT when triggered I unconsciously regressed to the unhealed child state. In a sense the adult was nowhere to be found when the child state took over. 

Once I did the healing work to go back in to the trauma and unify the connection between the child and adult Kelly > now my child self is not left disconnected internally. So if something arises presently that has elements of the past, even if the child is activated, he is not left alone, the adult steps in with him as an advocate and puts the needed boundaries in place.  

So this would be one of my personal examples that is an illustration of how we can become an advocate for our own internal child self. And then there is the option to extend that out to others as you were mentioning Tad.

So in my workshops a big thrust is in supporting people to learn how to empower themselves to make openhearted boundaries. Passing on what I have learned (or a better description would be – what I have embodied) and helping people find ways to embody that for themselves so they have more than just the head knowledge of physiological and spiritual ideals about self care.

Tad: If someone were to say to you, ‘My wounds are NOT a blessing!’ I’m curious how you might respond, or want to respond if they were open.

Kelly: I liked how you framed that Tad “or want to respond if they were open”. It shows me your sensitivity to care when addressing someone’s wounds. Discussion of wounds can initiate protectiveness, so unless there is a sincere openness, any attempt at communication can break down rapidly. 

If there is an opening then I would likely share my thoughts about the paradox of wounding. Receiving wounding is not a blessing. Receiving a wounding can be a blessing. Both ring true to me so I would not want to polarize to one statement or the other. Rather I would hold space for both of them. 

If I am stuck with just “it is not a blessing” then I am likely to stay stuck in a disempowered victim place around it. If I am stuck in “it is a blessing” then I may be prone to use positivity to suppress the grief that needs to be felt through. And to avoid looking squarely at the damage facilitated by the wounding. If I am not willing to fully look at the damage and emotional feel what that brings up, then I will be left with blind spots that will keep me stuck and unable to move forward into an empowered space. It is through the close observation and emotional work that I can sort out how to heal the wound and come back into an empowered place. That process is going to call forward my gifts, which in turn reveals the other side of the paradox > “my wounds are a blessing”. 

Hmmm, that feels like it may be a natural place to close on Tad, unless you have further questions, which I would be willing to answer.

Thanks again for your stimulating questions. 

May each of you that reads this be blessed on your journey. 

Kelly Tobey is an IntegrativeTransformational Processing Facilitator with StarTree Integration Adventures (founded 1991)

Kelly provides, Private Sessions, Workshops, Leadership Trainings, Retreats, across Canada  And in Calgary ongoing weekly drop-in seminars called Expanding Heartfelt Living evenings. For information contact Kelly Tobey at Phone: (403) 217-5533 Fax: (403) 217-0053 Website: www.kellytobey.com Facebook: Kelly Tobey YouTube: KellyTobey1

a few niching realizations

Had the best call last week in my Niching for Hippies program.
 
A few realizations: 

  • the qualities you most want your clients to have are the qualities you need to be bringing to the table yourself
  • the qualities you most want your clients to have are your responsibility: how can you make it easier and safer for those to show up when they work with you? Can you create programs to help them develop those qualities? Can you partner with someone whose passion it is to help people develop those qualities?
  • the qualities we love the most in our very favourite clients are often the qualities we are already bringing to the table and that our ideal clients love in us
 

the top 40 clearest niches out of 119 – as voted by you!

On January 8th, in the lead up to my six week ‘Niching for Hippies‘ coaching program, I invited my email list to participate in a challenge called – ‘So You Think You Can Niche‘.

As of this moment there were 119 submissions and 1587 comments on the blog thread.

I have spent the last 12 hours going through it and tabulating the results from it. And what you see below are the Top 40 niche submissions as chosen by you. I will be sharing more learnings that came from this contest in the coming weeks, but for now, I invite you to enjoy reading forty niches that the majority of people found extremely clear. They’re all excellent examples of a niche that most people would ‘get’ right away.

On the left hand side you’ll see their average score that people gave them from 1-10.

Note: If you are represented here and would like me to add your website or update what is written please drop me a line and let me know.

   10 Kathy Whitham - I help parents who are at the end of their rope successfully stop the power struggles, connect with their kids and restore peace at home. www.parentingbeyondwords.com
10 Leslie Singer – Is midlife messing up your mojo? I coach women to reclaim their sense of self, declare their life purpose & flourish.  
10 Lisa Mcloughlin “Coaching introverts: optimising your quiet strengths www.greenaldercoaching.co.uk
10 Monique Lallemang I help people with neurological issues to find solutions for making their life smoother and enjoyable. I help people with peripheral neuropathy customize daily rituals, identify healing opportunities and achieve greater happiness  
9.75 Sven the Tantric Barbarian – I help female yoga teachers to experience full body orgasms.  
 9.6 Alison Downey – I re-ignite hope for people suffering from chronic pain or emotional distress, using acupuncture to provide long-awaited relief. http://bit.ly/YhyijK
 9.5 Paula Blundell - I work hands-on for, or alongside, busy eco-minded inner city Calgarian’s to get their home organized, achieve order & make room to breathe. www.roomtobreathecalgary.com
9.47 Jennifer Fedd – I produce and publish audio books for contemporary romance writers. audiolark.com
 9.3 Claudia Neely - I help adults with Asperger’s and/or ADHD build intimate relationships, from learning to date, to finding friends and peer groups, to exploring healthy sexuality.  
9.25 Tanja Gardner – I help coaches, healers & other difference-makers communicate the AWESOMENESS of their services through clear copywriting crystalclaritycopywriting.com
Dawn Trautman – I coach progressive Protestants to discover a calling that aligns with God, their community, and their own sense of joy. www.LutheranLifeCoach.com
9 Elinor Predota - I help LGBT & poly couples to have the wedding & marriage they desire through ceremony creation & relationship coaching.  
Joanne Diepenheim - I free heart-centered entrepreneurs from the technical administration work they don’t have the know-how, time, or inclination for. www.rippleeffectsva.com
Katherine Pike – I help women and men over 40 struggling with food and with diets to lose weight naturally without giving up all the things they love to eat. www.Eat-to-Achieve.com
9 Peter – I help service-based woman entrepreneurs charge what they worth, get 4 more hours of fun per week without being saleasy and convincing to clients.

 

 
8.96 Sian Delaney - I help older people affected by frailty, illness or disability receive the care they need in the home that they love.  www.homehelpplus.co.uk/
8.85 Kim McNeil – I offer private in-home yoga therapy, workshops, and retreats for those living with arthritis whose needs are not met in conventional yoga classes. www.kimmcneilyoga.ca
8.81  Dillena - I help LGBT folks with depression, anxiety and self-esteem issues feel happy and secure with themselves using a caring, drug-free approach. http://on.fb.me/UdwZyW
8.8

Renee Stotz – As the Womb Wellness Coach, I help women who have had an abortion, heal their mental, emotional & physical well-being

www.reneestotz.co.uk

8.75

 

Rebecca Allen - I help broken hearts heal their wounds when relationships end. Shiatsu helps grief evolve naturally so you can laugh, love and be happy again. http://on.fb.me/Wh9OkH
8.5 Joseph Coats - I help connect people to nature by creating edible and usefull landscapes that provide for many of their basic needs (food, H2o, fiber,fuel)   
8.57 Camilla Freeman – I help women and couples maximize fertility with customized dietary, herbal medicine and movement plans www.camillefreeman.com
8.56 Jacquie Robertson – I help bitchy, bloated & burnt-out female professionals have more energy, love their body & feel less stressed. www.jacquierobertson.ca
8.5

Geneviève Côté – I help women struggling with anxiety disorders live anxiety-free with the help of practical herbal medicine and other drug free techniques.

 
8.5

Miki – I help soul-wounded fathers heal while raising boys who come of age with a deep sense of purpose and belonging.

 
8.45 Tamara - I’m a floral designer that works with brides who’ve been dreaming about their wedding since they were little girls. www.purelyflower.com 
8.45 KlaraBowPie – I handmake specially designed blankets to help people with Post Traumatic Stress feel safe www.plumestorytellers.co.uk
8.4 LisaReinhardt - Women love our organic vegan dark chocolate that’s infused with herbs, spices & flower essences to balance body & mind www.weiofchocolate.com
8.4 I sell ethically produced wild life pendants in soapstone targetted at children to remind them of animal rights and environmental issues.  
8.38 Caroline Van Kimmenade – I teach struggling empathic people who feel overwhelmed and fearful how to make their sensitivity a joyful gift so that they work working WITH their sensitivity instead of fighting it www.thehappysensitive.com
8.33 Janina Na – I make artisanal bath and body care luxuries for people with sensitive skin and/or multiple chemical sensitivities.  
8.33 KC Schwarz - I use Thai yoga massage to help older guys ease the effects of aging on a physically demanding lifestyle.  
8.32 Lucy Lambriex - I use photography & text to portray enterprising people who care about authenticity, so they will attract the people and clients that fit. http://lablambriex.nl
8.3 Lori RN(a.k.a.Minky) – I mentor nurses who are fitness enthusiasts, combine their nursing skills and fitness training to improve the health of people ‘at-risk’ for disease.  
8.24 Kat - I teach single moms how to release overwhlem and frustration, be confident parents and be the change they want to see in their children  
8.2  Mark Zlochin - i help “crazy”, creative and ambitious people in becoming more focused, organized and productive, so they can realize their potential most fully.  
8 Sarah - I show sufferers of Fibromyalgia and CFS how to manage symptoms, relieve pain, and re-occupy their lives.  

105 minutes in new videos about niching

I just sat down over the past couple of days and recorded a series of videos on niche marketing. I thought you might find them useful in helping you sort out how to relate to what can sometimes be a very confusing and overwhelming topic.

 

Strategy vs Tactics in Marketing (8 minute video)

0 105 minutes in new videos about niching

 

The Four Core Marketing Strategies (11 minute video)

0 105 minutes in new videos about niching

 

Five Major Business Struggles (and why niching is the solution to all of them) (15 minute video)

0 105 minutes in new videos about niching

 

The Primary Niching Blunder – Trying to Reach Everybody (11 minute video)

0 105 minutes in new videos about niching

 

The Bullseye Metaphor for Niching (5 minute video)

0 105 minutes in new videos about niching

 

Niching Myths That Keep Us Stuck – Part I (8 minute video)

0 105 minutes in new videos about niching

 

Niching Myths That Keep Us Stuck – Part II (13 minute video)

0 105 minutes in new videos about niching

 

Niching Myths That Keep Us Stuck – Part III (15 minute video)

0 105 minutes in new videos about niching

 

5 Tools to Clarify Your Niche (14 Minute video)

0 105 minutes in new videos about niching

 

Four Steps to Figuring Out Your Niche (10 minute video)

0 105 minutes in new videos about niching

 

If you’d like some more help in figuring out your niche, I invite you to check out my six week Niching for Hippies program which begins on January 23rd.

your 46 point niche health self assessment

stethoscope.iStock 000005106084Medium 300x200 your 46 point niche health self assessment

In a recent post, I posed this question:

Do you have a clear niche?

Are you sure?

Many entrepreneurs I work with believe they do, indeed, have a clear, solid and effective niche for their business.

Until I begin to ask a few questions.

In my experience, 90% of entrepreneurs have an extremely fuzzy niche (and don’t realize it). But that’s just my opinion. And it occurred to me that you might be curious about how clear your niche is. So, I’ve arranged a quick and fun way for you to get some quick, direct and candid feedback from me but also dozens of other people. In my experience, honest feedback can be hard to get.

One way to get some general theory and perspective on niching is to check out my six week coaching program and the free webinars I’m running.

But here’s another way to find out how clear your niche is  - give yourself this quick and easy ‘self-assessment’.

The truth is that the best approach to self assessment is going to be three pronged:

Prong #1: Self Assessment

Prong #2: Learning about Niching (the more theory you know and examples you have the more you’ll intuitively sense when your efforts are on point or not).

Prong #3: Feedback from others (feedback from your peers, experts and people who represent your target market is vital).

 

Your 46 Point Niche Health Check Up

 

All you have to do is score yourself honestly based on the questions below. You’ll need a pen and paper.

There are no right or wrong answers here, just honest and dishonest ones. Be as honest as you can be. The most points you can get is 46 in this assessment. You don’t want points. 46 = flatline. If you get 46 points then your niche is, in my opinion, dead (or never existed). 0 points is the best you can be.  If you get no points at all, then you should be teaching courses on niching because you ‘get it’.

So, please give yourself the listed number of points if you . . .

10 POINTS:  Are trying to reach ‘everyone’ (‘because that’s the best part of what I do – it can help anyone!’) or it’s a fuzzy niche (e.g. it’s any of these three of something like it, ‘I work with people who are stressed’, ‘I work with people who are fundamentally open to change and ready to take responsibility for their own lives – they’re ready to do the work’ and ‘I work with people in transition’ – those are all code for . . . everybody.’)

10 POINTS: Have no plan on how to go about getting clear on your niche

5 POINTS: You aren’t absolutely clear on the specific problem you’re solving for them (Island A) and the particular result you’re offering them (Island B). If you can’t sum each up into five words or less, you likely aren’t clear.

1 POINT: Are honestly just going for the money in your niche by focusing entirely on what’s hot and trending now.

1 POINT: Aren’t passionate about solving their problem and offering them the result they’re craving.

1 POINT: Don’t really care for, love and respect this community of people. 

1 POINT: Don’t want to be known for delivering that result. Like, if you were at a party and overheard someone say, ‘That’s Lindsay. Lindsay helps _____ (kinds of people) get __________ (result).” and you aren’t secretly delighted about that (or worse hate hearing that) then give yourself a point here.

1 POINT: Are not 100% sure where you can find them. If whenever you sit down to figure out where to market you keep getting stymied, give yourself a point.

1 POINT: Secretly feel like a fraud and that you’re simply not credible to help them with their issues.

1 POINT: Don’t have the expertise (or desire to commit to being the expert) in delivering the previously named results.

1 POINT: Can’t identify other players who are creating successful businesses serving this market too. If no one else is doing it, there might be a good reason.

1 POINT: Are defining your niche by what you think that they need (e.g. ‘People need to be more balanced/disciplined/kind etc’) vs. the painful symptoms and problems they have and the results they’re craving.

1 POINT: Have a niche defined entirely by demographics and external things (e.g. ‘My niche is single, white women, ages 40-60 living in Edmonton’ or ‘My niche is black men, ages 30-40, making $60-80,000/year and living in Seattle’ or ‘People who can afford me’).

1 POINT: Have a niche defined by ‘umbrella lables’ like, ‘People in chronic pain.’ or ‘Conscious, heart based entrepreneurs’ or ‘Cultural creatives’ or ‘members of the Creative Class’.

1 POINT: Are going it alone and trying to figure out your niche by yourself and haven’t made any head way in a long time.

1 POINT: Have a marketing strategy that basically consists of “just getting my name out there”.

1 POINT: Couldn’t describe a typical day or your client. What do they do each day? Where do they spend their time, money and attention? What keeps them up at night? 

1 POINT: Couldn’t describe the typical life story of your client like this with such clarity and empathy that they read it and say, ‘Wow. That’s me. That’s eerie. How do you know this?’

1 POINT: Aren’t absolutely clear there are enough of them to reward your efforts.

1 POINT: Have trouble crafting offers that get them to say, ‘Wow! I need that!’ and sign up. If you explain what you do and your products and services and get some ‘polite interest’ but no one signs up – give yourself a point.

1 POINT: Can’t articulate or niche in 120 characters or less (check out the ‘So You Think You Can Niche?‘ contest for great examples of clear and fuzzy niches).

1 POINT: Get the glassy eyed response when you describe what it is that you do at a party. People smile and nod and say, ‘How interesting’ and then change the topic. You can tell that people are being nice but they really have no idea what it is you do.

1 POINT: Are working hard but still not getting enough of the kinds of clients you want.

1 POINT: Have a body of clients who aren’t aligned with the bigger causes and issues that move you (e.g. You’re passionate about women’s rights and empowerment and your clients think that’s ‘nice’ but don’t really care about it in any meaningful way themselves).

1 POINT: Have a body of clients who disagree with or don’t care about your point of view, perspective, philosophy and ‘take’ on things (e.g. You’re a naturopath who believes in the raw vegan diet as the way to go but most of your clients are resistant to that approach or don’t really care about that).

 

Your Total: ______/46

 

If you’re score is more than 10 out of 46, I want to urge you to check out the six week , Niching for Hippies program which starts January 23rd or check out the last free webinar on January 22nd.

And, if you’re brave, feel free to post your score and reflections below.

five steps to get more (and better) clients – (14 minute video)

A few weeks ago, I realized how I take almost every client I work with through the same series of five steps. If you want more (and better) clients, you will have to, at some point, engage all five of these things. The bad news is that they’re not easy. The good news is that they’re really simple.

And they all start with knowing who is a perfect fit for you – who your niche is. 

0 five steps to get more (and better) clients   (14 minute video)

‘So You Think You Can Niche?’ Contest – Win $100 Cash + A Spot in My ‘Niching for Hippies’ program ($600) for Less Effort than a Tweet

15279911 vote election concept isolated word in vintage letterpress wood type So You Think You Can Niche? Contest   Win $100 Cash + A Spot in My Niching for Hippies program ($600) for Less Effort than a TweetDo you have a clear niche?

Are you sure?

Many entrepreneurs I work with believe they do, indeed, have a clear, solid and effective niche for their business.

Until I begin to ask a few questions.

arrow e1357681247481 So You Think You Can Niche? Contest   Win $100 Cash + A Spot in My Niching for Hippies program ($600) for Less Effort than a TweetIn my experience, 90% of entrepreneurs have an extremely fuzzy niche (and don’t realize it). But that’s just my opinion. And it occurred to me that you might be curious about how clear your niche is. So, I’ve arranged a quick and fun way for you to get some quick, direct and candid feedback from me but also dozens of other people. In my experience, honest feedback can be hard to get.

One way to get some general theory and perspective on niching is to check out my six week coaching program and the free webinars I’m running.

But here’s an even more direct way – and it’s totally free. But it’s only for the brave . . .

Submitting Your Niche:

In the comments area below I want you to write out your best description of your niche. But here are the rules:

  • you must write it in 120 characters or less (say wha?). Smaller than a tweet. If it’s more than that, I’ll delete it. I’m a hard ass.
  • if you submit one, you must rate at least five other people (it’s only fair) but do more if you can.
  • you are welcome to include your website for folks to check you out (and make sure to leave a way for me to contact you if you win).

You are totally welcome to email your friends and rope them into voting for you as long as you ask them to be honest. In fact, here’s a facebook post and a tweet below:

fb So You Think You Can Niche? Contest   Win $100 Cash + A Spot in My Niching for Hippies program ($600) for Less Effort than a TweetFACEBOOK: 30 second favour – Give me an honest rating from 1-10 on how clear my niche is to you in the ‘So You Think You Can Niche’ contest?

new twitter logo So You Think You Can Niche? Contest   Win $100 Cash + A Spot in My Niching for Hippies program ($600) for Less Effort than a TweetTWITTER: 30 second favour – Give me an honest rating from 1-10 on how clear my niche is to you in the #sytycncontest? @tadhargrave

 

Rating Niches:

I invite you to read the comments below and give your most honest rating of the niches there from 1-10 on how clear you think it is.

1 = Not clear at all. I have no idea what they’re talking about or what problem they solve for people.

10 = I can totally picture specific people I could send to them and I know for sure whether I’m in their niche or not. I clearly understand the problem they are solving.

You’re welcome to write some feedback too – and let’s remember to be gentle – uncompromising truth but also unconditional love – as this is a vulnerable thing for people. There is a prize for the person who gives the best and most insightful comments (read more at the bottom).

Examples of Niches I’d Rate a ’10′ in Clarity:

  • I help holistic practitioners attract more of their kinds of clients they want without doing anything that feels pushy.
  • I lead yoga classes for people with ’round bodies’ who don’t enjoy going to regular yoga classes.
  • Therapists who need an outlet to anonymously share all the secrets they have to keep from sessions with clients.
  • MD’s who are burning out or can see they’re heading to burn out if they don’t slow down and make changes.

Your Twelve Chances to Win a Prizes: What’s in it for you . . .

How to win: the winner will be the person with the highest total score and, in case of a tie, the most people rating them. So, get your friends involved if you want to be sure to win.

1st Place: The top rated niche (given the averages of the ratings) will win $100 cash (for real) + a free spot in my six week, $600, Niching for Hippies program (to use for themselves or give to a friend).

2nd & 3rd Place: Second and third place will get access to the homestudy version of my Niching for Hippies program (which I haven’t even released yet but will likely charge $400 or so for) + $200 off my Niching for Hippies program.

4th – 10th Place: Win $100 off my Niching for Hippies program (a discount you can use or pass onto others).

Best Nomination: Maybe you aren’t a niched business but you know one? You can nominate them here using the same rules. If your nomination is chosen, you will win $100 off my Niching for Hippies program (to use or pass onto someone else).

The Best Comments Prize: the person who gives the best feedback to others gets $300 off my Niching for Hippies program because that’s the kind of person I want in it.

Good Comments Award: Anyone who gives at least five quality pieces of feedback (beyond just a number) will get $100 off.

But, every person who enters will receive a rating from me personally (from 1-10) and, potentially, some direct feedback and questions to help you dig a bit deeper.

And every person gets to see a tonne of examples of how others articulate their niches in clear and fuzzy ways. And you’ll get feedback from, hopefully, dozens of others.

Contest Ends Jan 20th at 9pm MT.

And, if you want more help, check out my six week coaching program and the free webinars that are coming up this month.

my condensed thoughts on niching & an invitation

I’ve got five free webinars coming up on niching and a six week coaching program but I know that the timing and money won’t work out for everyone so . . .

In this blog post are links to a dozen or so of my favourite blogs on this whole topic of niching and why it matters.

Of course, the first thing you might be wondering is, “Is niching an issue for me?” Maybe. Maybe not, but I’ve found that there are sixteen common symptoms of businesses with weak, fuzzy or non-existent niches. It’s worth checking.

But, perhaps ore importantly, you might be wondering, “Why Does Niching Matter?”

It’s a fair question.

First of all, these cartoon bears have something to say about it . . .

0 my condensed thoughts on niching & an invitation

But on a more serious note, I believe that, even though it can freak us out, niching can actually, surprisingly be a healing force in your life for six particular reasons. This is not to say you should ignore your fears about it. Sometimes your fears about niching are actually a part of helping you figure out your niche.

One of my colleagues, Rob often talks about how specialization (another word for niching) is the next step for chinese medicine in the west. And, if you’re a chinese medical practitioner is a city with 100 other practitioners – you can begin to understand why. How else can you stand out?

My colleague Alex Baisley recorded a seven and a half minute video about his thoughts on the importance of ‘who’ you work with which points out that, all other arguments for niching aside – it makes the work so much more meaningful if you’re doing it for people you really care about.

My colleague Carrie Klassen of Pink Elephant points out that when you’re trying to be everything to everything to everybody your business no longer feels dear, cherished or special to anyone.

And yet, we still resist niching. There seem to five main reasons why we do this. But I think there are many reasons why it’s still well worth it to explore.

Niching Case Studies:

Consider Nancy Juetten, the PR specialist, who thought her target market were extroverts who loved and craved the spotlight . . . only to realize she really wanted to help introverts.

Or Dike Drummond who, a decade ago was a burned our family Doctor, who finally became a coach who helps Doctors deal with burn out as The Happy MD.

Or Toronto’s Tiina Veer who was tired of going to yoga classes where her rounder body didn’t fit in and wasn’t accommodated and so created Yoga for Round Bodies.

There are so many examples that I could share.

The bottom line is this. If you don’t already have a niche and you want help to make sure that whatever niche you pick has all three qualities of a profitable niche, consider joining me on one of the free, 90 minute webinars I’ll be hosting over the coming weeks.

In this 90 minute webinar, you’re going to learn:

  • six reasons most people avoid niching (and why they’re not true)
  • the nine biggest niching blunders
  • my four simple steps to identifying and honing your niche
  • lots of real life niche examples
  • how even something like yoga (that can help everybody) can be niched a bunch of different ways.

Anyway, you can read more about it and sign up here: http://nichingforhippies101.eventbrite.com/

I’m also leading a six week coaching program on niching that you can check out here: http://marketingforhippies.com/niching-for-hippies/

the top ten lessons i’ve learned from teaching my six week ‘niching for hippies’ coaching program

ten11 the top ten lessons ive learned from teaching my six week niching for hippies coaching programThis past summer I lead a six week course focused just on niching.

I’m doing round two of it in January of 2013 (you can read more about that here).

And it’s had me reflecting on what I learned about niching from it. And I learned a lot. These are the lessons I would pass onto any of my colleagues working with people on their niche.

LESSON #1: it can take time. That’s the reality. I’m a bigger and bigger believer in the notion that you don’t find your niche. Your niche finds you. Consistently, I see that when the right niche hits someone it’s like a lightbulb switching on. They get chills. Everyone they talk to gets chills. It’s so immediately clear. But, even one second before that moment, it wasn’t clear. And there was nothing they could do about it. It’s a mystery in a way. All you can do is prepare. Listen. Get ready. Open up. Ask good questions and hope that a good one comes. I mean, sure, you can arbitrarily pick one and rush the process . . . but it won’t feel good and it won’t last very long. Niching is more a mystery to me now than ever before.

LESSON #2: it can be scary. For so many reasons, this can be such an anxiety ridden journey for people. In order for a niche to be authentic, it often ends up having a deep connection to our own deepest wounds and struggles. Which aren’t always easy to face (even if it’s ultimately healing to do so).  Even if we know what the niche is then there are all the questions of ‘who am I to say something about this? does the world need one more blog writing about this?’. Stepping into a niche asks you to be visible in a whole new way that you might never have done before. All scary stuff. And that can require some slowness, gentleness and lots of empathy on the part of the person facilitating the process.

LESSON #3: doing the deep inner work looking at your wounds is worth it. Man. This is a big one. Our deepest wounds are often the doorway to our truest niche. I have consistently found that the people who were really willing to slow down and do that inner work had better results. And that they found the process so liberating and healing. They felt more solid, grounded and able to tell their story. People who’ve really done this inner work show up not as wounded people, but as medicine.

LESSON #4: don’t push people or ignore their fears. I’ve done this. I’ve seen it done. I’ve had it done to me. It never helps. You can’t push someone into discovering their calling. You can’t shame them into rushing faster to find their niche. Things will happen when they happen. And people’s fears can often be the doorway in to them discovering their niche.

LESSON #5: we all do better with some love and encouragement. I really fell in love with the people in the last group. They were the loveliest, most good hearted people. And I told them that I loved them a lot. I encouraged them and cheered them on a lot.  We’re all better when we’re loved.

LESSON #6: create a step by step system for people to follow. This is something I’m in the process of doing. But when people are doing something so big, daunting and scary its immensely reassuring to have a clearly laid our path, a clear map they can follow and find themselves in. Wandering around a city lost when you urgently need to get somewhere is stressful. Having a map and knowing where you are is a huge relief. Having a clearly drawn route to follow by a native of the city? It’s why I have tried to lay out my four simple steps to figuring out your niche. I’m sure it will evolve over time to make the journey easier for people. At least, I hope so.

LESSON #7: start with where you’re clear. Boy, it’s so easy to feel like you just have no idea about anything niche related. But it’s not true. You do. It’s important, when leading people through figuring out their niche, to start with all the places they are clear. This helps people feel confident right from the get go. I didn’t do this as well as I could have in my first round with my clients. I’m excited to do better next time. Start where you’re clear.

LESSON #8: encourage experimentation. Very few people start out knowing the perfect niche. It can take lots of experimentation. Encourage this. Encourage people to try lots of new things. To make their best guesses and then go and learn from it. The more strategic and thoughtful experiments you do the faster you’ll find your niche.

LESSON #9: A niche is often an oxymoron. Most of us are bridges between different communities. We’re a part of a lot of different communities. And sometimes, our role (our niche) is to bring together those communities together. Or to bring together two contrasting notions. You can read more about that here.

LESSON #10: Come at it from different angles. Sometimes niching is a simple matter of asking, ‘who do I want to work with?’. Sometimes you look at your wounds. Sometimes you need to look at what it is you’re drawn to create and then ask yourself who would be into that. Come at it from many different angles. 

Again, if you want more help figuring our your niche, you can read more about my coaching program here.

niche case study: healing for healers

Tim Emerson is a trooper.

He participated in the Niching for Hippies program I ran in the summer of 2012. And, like many, he struggled with this idea of niching. I can’t even count the number of times he’d come to the group with what he thought was (finally) a workable niche, only to get a ‘meh’ and ‘please try again’ reaction from the group. Lots of encouragement but nothing seemed to be clicking for people. But Tim wouldn’t give up. He kept trying. Kept sitting with it. Came at it from so many angles when a lot of others might have just given up on the whole thing. Tim was committed. And, given that the Latin roots of commitment come from the verb ‘to begin’ that certainly fit because Tim seemed to always be starting from scratch.

And then, finally, something clicked and has been slowly unfolding since that moment.

What follows is an interview with him and my personal thoughts on where he might go next with it all.

 

tim emerson niche case study: healing for healersName: Tim Emerson, Kwan Yin Healing

Website: http://kwanyinhealing.com

What is the niche you’ve come up with? Who is it? What are the problems they struggle with?

You know how healers can sometimes struggle to feel connected with the light they felt when they first learned their practice?   Too much space between clients limits their practical growth, and they wish they had the intuition and results they see other healers demonstrate.   They truly want to make a difference, to share their gifts, but as time passes, doubt creeps in, and they wonder if they’re just kidding themselves, if they can really help after all, whether their gifts are real.  They can feel somewhat empty, disconnected, and disheartened.   They wonder sometimes how they can heal others when they’re struggling with healing their own doubts, fears, and limitations. 

What’s the result you are helping them to achieve?

Well, what I do is help them to brighten that light and to keep that light burning, to reconnect them to the feeling they had when they started so that they can continue to grow, to keep believing in themselves, and to fulfill the dream of helping others that set them on their paths initially.  I show them how to feel this connection, to experience its reality directly and demonstrably, and to facilitate their own multi-level healing from it.  I act as a catalyst for their own very real change and accelerated growth.  With these changes come a lightness of being, a clarity and direction about their life paths and spiritual directions, with insights and confidence they can then demonstrate and share with their own clients.   They can then practice authentically and confidently as healers, as just who they truly are now, getting the support and encouragement they need to learn to be genuine and to allow themselves to grow again on their life path.

How was the process of coming to this niche for you? Was it hard? Easy? A struggle? Something you’d already been working on?

I found I could generate website traffic easily, but it wasn’t qualified traffic.  I needed to find specific people–but who were these people?  Naturally, I could work with anyone, but that wasn’t going to help me with search criteria.  Whom could I best serve?  I started by asking “Who is already coming?”:

Generally people see me (or are referred) for one or more of three reasons:

1) They are suffering from chronic pain or illness, and a friend referred them (often not someone I know either).   Back pain, cancer, asthma, something medicine isn’t handling well, things like these.  There’s often an emotional heaviness as well.

2) They are in a period of uncertainty, and are looking for clarity, focus, insight, new directions.   Shifting careers, changing relationships, periods of spiritual transformation or seeking, feeling things aren’t as they should be, often accompanied by some angst, weariness, or anxiousness about the situation(s). 

3) They came across Reconnective Healing somewhere, and article or the Internet, or read Eric Pearl’s book, and then found my name on the practitioners’ directory, and want to book a healing session or The Reconnection.   This may be for reasons 1 or 2, or they may be interested in learning about healing itself, with an eye to later training and practice.  They are curious, but ready to pay.

They are 30-60 years old, more often female (not always), middle class (low to high middle), U.S. or Canadian.  They are already open to the idea of energy and distance healing.  They lean toward green practices, liberal politics and healthy lifestyles, if often moderately so.  They are often artistic, or healers themselves, energy or traditional (nurses, counselors).  They resonate with my website imagery—forest waterfalls, Kwan Yin—and appreciate the quiet space in the middle of their busy lives.  They like me.

Particularly interesting to me was that people I didn’t know were referring clients.  But because I didn’t know them, I really didn’t know why.   I appreciated the trust, and after investigating, found these people were other healers who “figured they needed to call in bigger guns for this case.”  While honored, what could I do about this?  How could I help people who were a good fit find me?  Particularly since almost all clients are referrals–even though I frequently don’t know the source. 

At the same time, I had begun drafting my book, “Getting Unstuck:  Healing your Life,” pulling together what I had learned and preached about getting practical results even in seemingly difficult circumstances. As I recorded my thoughts and experience systematically, I also found the process clarifying those thoughts, then sparking new thoughts, and then pushing me into completely new areas of growth and experience, building the book into something much more than it was when I sat down to write it.  This process was no exception.  How would I find these strangers whom I love and who love me and what I offer?  That’s how I saw the job of niching.  What would resonate authentically with both me and my clients?

“Your deepest wounds are your truest niche.”  What had I been through? A few things came up that I had long pushed aside. Some old hurts from my early days as a musician. Some struggles emotionally. A lot of things I’d already laid out in “Getting Unstuck,” the things that brought me to the life I enjoy today. But not yet that passion, that drive, that “Yes! That’s who I serve! I love this!” And from my own book—I wasn’t going to do less than find that passion. But how?   I looked to my own interests and passions, particularly healing (of course), music, hiking, my passive solar house, but I just wasn’t seeing it.  I didn’t want to just arbitrarily pluck out a group.  How was what I did for these people any different than if they were spiritually conscious lumberjacks?  I struggled.  I reworded.  I started over.  Healing for Musicians.  Healing for Hikers.  Healing for ?????  Green Home Owners?   Local produce producers?  Every attempt to nail it down seemed to slip back out to serving the people in my large circle, all the people I was already seeing.  It was healing work.  So how to niche it authentically? 

Why this niche? What’s the story here? What can you say about your personal connection to this niche? Were you once in a similar boat? What made you think you had something to offer here?

For a while, people from Alex Baisley to my own Master Mind group had been telling me I should focus on healing for healers. My clients, many of them healers, were telling me this. Other clients came referred from still other healers. And I certainly could relate to many of the struggles they faced. The other people in Tad’s course were telling me the same thing now.

But. I just wasn’t seeing it.

Until one of the people in the course, watching me go through my open and vulnerable process, spoke up, sharing her own vulnerability. A healer herself, she shared what she sometimes felt inside, how she struggled, and how she looked at other healers and wished she felt more intuitive, more connected, more confident. How could she do this? I realized I knew how, and could help—this was already part of my healing work. Then other healers in the group added their thoughts. I was seeing it finally. This was something I couldn’t offer spiritually conscious lumberjacks. This was something specifically energy healers needed. And I could help. I wanted to help. I was excited about helping.

Healing for healers.

I got it.

I saw.

For quite a while, I hesitated to start a formal healing practice, because for years and years I’ve watched healers, massage therapists, and a host of other holistic practitioners struggle and wait and hope in vain.  Meanwhile, I had run successful businesses, from a consortium of musicians acting as a label to my own business consulting practice, and managed half a dozen others from non-profits to private sector enterprises.   I knew I needed a better business model, so waited quite a while before Tad’s “Marketing 101 for Holistic Practitioners” drew me a map to move beyond working with friends of friends when asked.   Kwan Yin Healing was born to serve, though, not only my own clients, but to help show, over time, others how they might construct their own dreams and reconnect their lives in practical, sustainable ways.  That absolutely applies to healers.  And now I could see a two way street.

The practice of Reconnection started when Eric Pearl was told that as a healer, it was something he needed.  When I mentioned this and explained the process of connecting meridian lines to the larger universal grid, a few people in Tad’s course said that this really landed for them.  They could see the need.  Also, I had months ago considered adding a discussion forum to my website, but hesitated because I didn’t want it to sit there idle.  

Now I could see that, while doing The Reconnection was the important service I offered healers, I could offer much more, a more targeted package of support and tools to help them on their personal journeys as well as their path as healers. 

A “Healing for Healers” forum opened the conversation for us all. 

I can now talk to people I haven’t met, learn about their struggles and needs, offer help and support, as well as offer that safe space for healers to help healers, to affirm their experiences, to guide and listen and encourage.  I wouldn’t have to work in the dark anymore, guessing what people would want and need.

What’s the response been to this so far from the people you’ve shared it with?

They.  love.  it.   The forum is still new, and in the first few months, with no advertising, attracted a few dozen users and over 700 views:  http://www.kwanyinhealing.com/healing-forum.php and check the growing use as well.   Others share that they like the idea, but haven’t gotten around to visiting.  As it grows, it will be nice to watch conversations grow among the users’ interests.  But it’s also instructive to listen to what’s merely bubbling.  People have time for what really resonates, so I know I have interest and potential here, and now will continue to explore to find what hits for healers. 

My blog is a few months old as well, and that too is an important resource for healers.  But in a blog, even with readers’ comments, it’s the author speaking to the crowd.  Healing for Healers is the individuals in the crowd speaking for themselves–their needs, their concerns, their interests, as they see it.  That participation and involved community is what I’m building for Healing for Healers

I’ve looked at several healing “discussions” on various sites, and they are generally “Look at me and contact me for a session.”  Not helpful at all, just a posting of essentially ads.  This is the opposite.  It’s a online coffee shop for healers.  If someone wants a session, they know where I am.   That’s not the point–the idea here is to provide a useful service, and for free.   It costs me a little (to prevent adding ads), but the value of the conversation far outweighs the cost for me.  And it fulfills my objectives of being truly of service, of serving as a useful hub, and of letting people get to know me.  

When I managed a New Age book store years ago, we were continually promoting other people.  Why?  The more people interested in what we did, the better.  That other people did it too wasn’t the point.  They knew us and what we offered.  And we got to know them very well.  That’s the goal here—I want to know these people and what’s going on for them.  And I want them to know other people care and can help.

How are you planning to reach this crowd? Any sense of the best hubs right now?

The main hubs used to be new age bookstores–including one I managed back in the 80s, Seven Rays Book Store, but now they’ve gone out of business, and the closest one to me is in Woodstock, over three hours away.  Perhaps there’s some way I can start to build relationships with such places virtually.  Or do a workshop once in a while on site.  But I’m thinking times have changed, and it’s time to do something different.

I’ve learned generating web traffic is pretty easy;  qualified traffic is another matter.  I’ve dabbled in Google Ads, LinkedIn, and Facebook, all of which weren’t all that helpful the first times I used them, particularly because I was targeting everyone. 

In November, I did an informational Q&A teleseminar — the replay link is on my website – http://kwanyinhealing.com — even though my first two attempts at teleseminars fell flat.  This time, though, I specifically marketed to healers.  Since the LinkedIn market was small, and since I haven’t figured out yet how to zoom in on healers using Google Ads, I went with a few Facebook ads specifically for healers.  I also sent a press release. 

What happened? 

  • The press release was picked up coast to coast in over 100 news outlets from the Boston Globe to the San Francisco chronicle. 
  • My new email list tripled. 
  • My page jumped from obscure to page six on Google searches (I’m working on page one). 
  • 47 people opted-in to the teleseminar, a dozen listened live (where they also got a group healing), and a dozen more followed up with the replay later.  
  • And I worked with ten new clients over the next two weeks, and got great new testimonials and even video footage of a woman who had a year-long neck injury from an auto accident healed…to the subsequent amazement of her chiropractor, who reported that her neck (C1) had somehow shifted back into alignment. Were all these people healers?  No.  But marketing to healers gave *everyone* a clearer idea of who I was and what I did.  It was far more compelling.  Niching rocks.
  • I’m also finding that some of the marketing groups I’m in are excellent hubs for healers.  They see what I’m doing, and because it’s different, I stand out.  Then they see continual new and interesting activity—and they’re curious, want to know more.  Then they ask about working with me on a project.  As one healer put it, “I love what you’re doing—it’s so paradigm shifty, and I’d love to be part of it.” 

And that’s the goal.  Paradigm shifty.  And not just healers—I’m regularly getting questions about my marketing from a range of entrepreneurs, holistic and conventional, intrigued by the difference and with the success of my slow marketing technique.  Being gently but fearlessly authentic is bringing in new relationships, and with them, new potential hubs.   And maybe a new niche—Paradigm Shifters!  Wherever Paradigm Shifters congregate, I’ve got potential hubs.  After all, part of my Why is changing the world.  Getting to know other Change Makers is a joy—and a hub.

What did you learn about niching along the way?

Niching is a process of coming face to face with yourself, and as we’ve lived our lives so far to arrive at our current perceived limitations, that’s not easy to do.  Notice that my friends identified my niche long before I finally got it.  They can see from the outside. 

So much of building a business, even a holistic one, is about old fear-based approaches.   Stopping to consider new paradigms, from as simple as “You aren’t going to help everyone, and if you get honest, you wouldn’t even want that,” considering who are the ideal clients, and who are the no-thank-you clients, to moving away from “what I have to do to be successful” to asking what you really want to do, and with whom, and why, and making those consideration the basis of business, of truly focusing on whom you can best serve, is going to create a far more sustainable, enjoyable, and helpful practice that can then be the focus of practical business models worth pursuing.    And it will be authentic. 

And it’s so amazing—when I focus on my niche, instead of trying to reach everybody, EVERYBODY is suddenly interested, not just my niche.

Focusing on a niche is simply (1) more compelling, and (2) compels me to get more specific and clear about what I do, what I offer, why I offer it, how it works, and rings so true, so authentically, that people don’t *need* to “get” me to become clients.   The average client hasn’t read the bulk of my web site (according to Google Analytics).  But they continually tell me they LOVE my site.   Why?  They love how it feels, and they like the feeling they get from me, and decide to take the jump and work with me.  It’s real, and they can tell, from the inside out.

What are your next steps in exploring this niche? Any project ideas?

Yes!  “Healers’ Voices” begins in January 2013, and already got nine very interesting and diverse people have signed on

  • Erik Carlson of “A Time to Heal” (massage and holistic healing),
  • Myriam Haar of “Powerful You” (NLP/Life Coaching),
  • Marina Ormes of “Astrology Heals” (Evolutionary Astrologer and Holistic Nurse—who’s niche is “visionary healers”),
  • Carol Ann Barrows (Qigong Instructor),
  • James Burkhart of “SomaHealing” (Amazon herbs),
  • Delia Yeager (Clairvoyant, healing circles),
  • Carla Forsyth (Transference Healing/Heartself Healing),
  • Lauren Worsh of “The Art of Spiritual Embodiment” (on the Law of Attraction), and
  • Lure Wishes…from the Tasmanian wilderness! 

More to come, I’m sure—I’ve only been promoting this a week so far.  I’ll be sending an announcement with the series details in early January.  Each participant will be hanging out to ask questions on the Healing for Healers forum during a specific time, and/or offering a guest blog, and/or doing a recorded interview.   The project is open-ended, so sign on, healers!

I’ll continue adding to my blog, which also serves my niche—I’ve explored Gregg Braden and Shin-ichiro Terayama so far, as well as self-healing and perhaps the start of a Hiking for Healers niche. 

Much more to come. 

I’ll also set up an online book store and music store connected to Amazon.  One of the best parts of Seven Rays Book Store for me and our customers was recommending books and music, and I can readily offer that online here, with descriptions of the individual recommendations.   I’m sure others will offer their recommendations too.  I’d like it to be a comfortable, rewarding place so that when healers (or anyone else) looking for a new read or new music, they’ll think to stop by and see what’s new at Kwan Yin Healing.  Blog posts can delve into some of this as well, of course, and perhaps book discussions will get going on the forum–that’s one of the suggestions that came from one of the healers.  I like it.  I’d like to see Kwan Yin Healing become a hub.

What would you say were the top three lessons you learned about niching from going through the six week Niching for Hippies program?

First, look at who is already coming to you.  Notice now those interactions play out.  For whatever reason, my clients trust me before they get here, and they’ve already decided to enroll in something.  I’ve never had a conversation about cost, with anyone–they just pay.  That’s unusual, so I can look to uncovering both why that is so I can do it better, and to turning my efforts to the areas that aren’t yet up to speed–better clarity, better programs, better visibility in my case–but first recognizing that none of that would matter if I didn’t first decide who I was attempting to reach.  More traffic to my site isn’t needed, as I’m largely a one on one provider.  What I needed was better qualified traffic, and for that, I needed to get clear about niche. 

Second, start with hubs.  I watched two excellent workshops pass by with insignificant enrollment, because I left that step for last.  No.  Where will you find these people?  And if your niche starts with the word “people,” it’s too broad, no matter how you qualify it next.  Pick a group that has a name they call themselves.  Period.  It can change, but if you can’t name them, you can’t find them.   Take a subset of who you’d like to reach if need be–you can’t see everyone at once anyway, so knock them off one by one.  See what works.  Stick with the ones that do and that you love.

And finally, there is NO substitute for talking to your niche.  None.  Zip.  Zilch.  Nadda.   At first that can be difficult, but in my case, my niche themselves stepped forward finally and talked to me about becoming my niche.  Now I was having that conversation.  Now they were telling me what they needed.  I knew where to find them.  And they loved being able to talk about these needs. Presto. So simple. My niche project was born—a discussion forum for healers. A safe, honest, open, compelling discussion with like-minded practitioners sharing a common set of needs. Healing for Healers.  From that discussion, oh the possibilities!  There’s still my main work, reconnecting their energy to source, a reconnection every healer needs and should experience.  But first, we can build a relationship.  That’s worth all of it right there.  People who love each other, hanging out together and helping each other.  That’s the heart of Healing for Healers.  And that’s the heart of a Niche.

Anything else you’d like to say?

I’m looking forward to developing two other potential niches.

  • Healing for Hikers might evolve into retreats or pilgrimages into the wilderness, checking into the primal peace that most people rarely experience, let alone know is part of our earth and existence.   I also developed my new self-healing thoughts and techniques practically on long hikes in the mountains, releasing aches and pains without bringing them home.   I blogged about this daily in October in “A Wilderness Hike” series — http://kwanyinhealing.net/2012/10/01/a-wilderness-hike/ –  with awesome pictures from my Adirondack adventures in the High Peaks.  I’d love to hear hikers’ thoughts, ideas, suggestions.   How can I help?  What do you need?  What would you like to see?
  • Healing for Musicians could go in so many directions.  I’m an accomplished professional musician (classical, jazz, rock, folk, new age) and have recorded many times, including my own albums (which I’ll eventually digitize and put on my site).   I’ve also a strong background in esoteric music and healing, from ancient times and cultures to world practices.  I’m not sure where this will go, but there’s certainly potential.  Again, I’d love to hear from musicians–how may I best serve?

Something fantastic will evolve, I’m sure.   I’m also sure those best incredible ideas will come from hikers, musicians, and healers themselves.    And I’m sure I will fall in love with those authentic areas in which we can share.  

Mostly, I find that, instead of complicating “what I do,” niching has simplified and clarified my work. 

If I’m talking to healers, I can tell them I do healing for healers, starting with challenges healers face and how I help.   If I’m talking to people interested already in Reconnective Healing or The Reconnection, my approach immediately distinguishes me from the sea of generic practitioners.  One client drove four hours and stayed overnight to have The Reconnection done, even though she has a qualified practitioner in her own town. 

Her web site is all about her,” she told me, “while yours is all about the work and how it started and how it works.”  She felt I was a better fit.  Or if I’m talking about wilderness and healing, I already have resources ready to offer.

With this comes even more confidence.  I used to dread those awkward “So what do you do” questions from people unlikely to “get” it or want it.  Now I calmly tell them, “I’m a New Age hippie, and I do New Age hippie things.”  That they get, right away.  If uninterested they nod and change the subject;  if intrigued, they open the door to the conversation and show me which aspects intrigue them. 

Honestly, a niche is in no way a constraint.  It’s you, authentic and freed.  And it shows others the way in to you, what you do, why you do it, and how it fits their own lives.

It is itself healing.

 

My Thoughts on This Case Study:

Clarify in on the journey (i.e. the problem that’s being solved and the result that’s being offered). When I read over Tim’s answers to the first two questions about the problem he solves and the results he offers . . . there were a lot of words. It felt a bit overwhelming. Developing a marketing message and clear platform is often a lot like cleaning your bedroom. It often gets worse before it gets better. It gets messy because you’re pulling everything out to reconsider and piling it on your bed to decide what to do with it. And, if you stop there, you’re far worse off than you were, but it you push through that ‘groan zone’ and ‘messy middle’ your room ends up so much cleaner and more uplifting to be in. Tim is well on his way.

The next level is can you sum up the problem in seven words or less. And the result too. When you get to the heart of it, it’s usually really simple. People are craving better sleep, better dating, better sex, more money, to feel healthier etc.

In Tim’s case what jumped out were these phrases:

  • The Problem: Self Doubt. “They wonder sometimes how they can heal others when they’re struggling with healing their own doubts, fears, and limitations.”
  • The Result: Confidence. “They can then practice authentically and confidently as healers”

It seems like the main journey he helps healers on is that journey. I could be wrong, but that’s what felt clearest and jumped out to me.

Whatever it ends up being, he should be able to sum it up in a single sentence or two, “You know healers often struggle with ______? Well, I help them get _________.”

If I were to take a crack at this for him it would be this: “You know how a lot of healers wonder sometimes how they can heal others when they’re struggling with healing their own doubts, fears, and limitations? Well, I help get to a place where they can practice authentically and confidently (even when their own life isn’t ‘perfect’).

You want to make sure you’re naming a struggle and a craving that, when someone in your target market hears it, they identify with it instantly.

The clearer the journey, the easier everything else is.

Blogging regularly. My colleague Marisa Murgatroyd has some brilliant things to say about blogging. But there’s no doubt that regular blogging has done me well in building up the ‘know, like & trust’ factor with my following. Blogging can help people learn about you from a safe distance. It’s a pink spoon. A free sample of what you have to offer. It helps you to articulate (and your following to understand) you point of view. That’s vital for building trust.

Clarify the rest of his platform. Right now, Tim’s got a fairly clear niche. It’s a fairly clear journey from the Island A of Self Doubt to the Island B of Confidence.

What’s not clear is what his point of view is about that journey. I want to know his sense of the steps, the process, the elements needed to make the journey. I want a clear sense of his ‘take’ on the journey and the blunders he sees healers making when they try it on their own. What are the myths surrounding the journey and what’s the truth?

I’d love to have him give me a metaphor for what the journey is like that could sum it up simply.

Clarity is power.

As Tim expands out, there’s a need to keep rooting deeper in clarity. Right now his platform is getting clearer but his container is a bit weak. A common error is to get the inklings of a platform and then want to promote it high and wide, but I would tend to encourage a bit more slowness and developing the business a little bit to be ready for it. It would be like getting the idea for a theme party and then inviting everyone over to your house that night before you’ve had a chance to tidy (let alone decorate) when it would be just as easy to do it the next week.

Redo his website for this niche of healers. Right now, I’d give his website about 30%. It feels a bit cluttered. My sense is that he’s well outgrown his website and needs to upgrade so that the external perception of his work matches the internal reality. I was in a similar place for years where I came to hate my old website but, until I met Jaime Almond, felt trapped. If you’re in that boat, get help. But, in addition to a general upgrade and makeover, I would love to see the homepage and his bio (and website in general hone in this niche of healing for healers because, right now, that doesn’t jump out to me.

He started with a niche project which is brilliant.  Instead of jumping into a website redo, he started with creating a forum as a part of his existing website to experiment. Brilliant. Start small. Start with a niche project that can allow you to see if the niche really feels right. He’ll know when he’s ready to take the next step. But it’s far better to go a bit more slowly than you need than too fast where you over commit to something you aren’t really ready for that doesn’t feel like a fit.

I’m a New Age hippie, and I do New Age hippie things.” – I love this. This might just be one of my favourite ways of introducing oneself I’ve ever heard. It’s so honest, self effacing yet composed and such a clear filter. It’s funny and will evoke either a leaning in response or a leaning out response. It’s a good reminder to see if you can find a ‘hook’ when you introduce yourself. Sometimes that will come from an oxymoron, sometimes from something like this. I think what I love about it is that it makes it clear that he doesn’t take himself too seriously – there’s a humility there. Arrogance is not attractive.

More Content:  In addition to blogging, there are more forms of content. The Healers’ Voices is a great idea. It reminds me of the Soul Filled Cafe idea that my colleague Heather Gray has used to successfully grow her practice. Doing interviews (audio, video or transcripts) and then offering those as downloads (free or paid) would be a great way to build things.

Develop a Signature Talk: While his work may not end up being a fit for TED talks, I would love to see Tim hone his message down to a twenty minute talk he could put up on his site. I’ve been thinking about this a lot for clients of mine – developing a ‘signature talk’ that communicates the heart of what you have to others.

Free Offer: I would love to see Tim’s site offer a ‘free gift‘ to anyone who signs up on his email list. Something targeted directly towards healers. It can make a dramatic, positive difference in who opts in to your email list.