three foundations of a thriving business

three fingers 225x300 three foundations of a thriving businessAt some point last year, it became clear to me that there are three main things most entrepreneurs need to have handled in order to thrive. They overlap each other like circles in a Venn Diagram.

And I realize now that I’d never written about them explicitly. So, here we are.

First, there’s a seven minute video of me sharing the overview and then I’ve written a recap and bit more about my thoughts on this.

First of all, I want you to imagine that a successful business is like a stylish bucket full of water. And then we need to ask ourselves, ‘why don’t most people have a full bucket of water?’

 

 

three foundations2 300x228 three foundations of a thriving business

 

FOUNDATION #1: Your Platform

Your platform is what you’re known for.

It’s your brand, your identity, your reputation.

It’s also the basis of every, single marketing decision you’ll ever make. It’s the core of what makes a business either authentic or not, original or a copy cat.

I want to submit that there are six things you can be known for. And that most entrepreneurs only focus on ONE of those things (which is also the one that makes them seem the most generic, boring and ‘just like everyone else.’ You can be known for what you do, but also why you do it, your point of view on it, you can be known for you and your style, you can be known for the particular journey you take people on and you can be known for the unimagined possibility you introduce into people’s lives.

Most businesses try to get known for what they do or make (e.g. I’m a massage therapist, I make widgets, I sell groceries). The challenge is that, unless you’re the only one in your area or community doing that then how are they supposed to make a decision about who to work with? How should they know if you’re a perfect fit for them?

When people don’t have a platform their marketing will always come across as generic and lack lustre.

 

4578c74f56bec1c127a28483e5f6a747 300x290 three foundations of a thriving businessFoundation #2: The Container

There’s no point in pouring more and more water into a leaky bucket. The first step is to stop the leak.

It seems obvious. But most entrepreneurs don’t so much have a leaky bucket as a sieve or strainer. It holds onto almost nothing.

And some entrepreneurs have a bucket that’s so ugly (to them) that they don’t even bring it with them to the river side. They’re afraid people might see them with it and laugh at what an old bucket they have.

It’s important not just that our bucket ‘works’ but that we’re so proud of it and so charmed with it that we want to take it everywhere. That we’d be so happy for people to see us with it.

I’ve known so many people who’ve gotten covered in the media for their work and have gotten no clients from it. Or they’re super well known and loved, but don’t have a lot of clients. So much water that pours in and then almost immediately out.

Your container is the embodiment of your platform. It’s what people see or experience about your business that immediately gives them a sense of whether or not what you’re offering is a fit for them. The clearer your platform, the stronger your container.

If you were hosting a party, the platform would be the theme of the party and the container would be all the decorations, the cleaning, the hot cup of cider offered to guests as they arrived. Your website is a container. Your landing page. The story of your business. The free workshop you do is a container. The blog is a container. The community that you cultivate and create is a held in the container of your online forums, live events, your email list etc. Your container is comprised of all the structures you create that warmly hold your community.

Your container are all the things they can see, hear and explore that give them a sense of you.

Your container are all the processes and systems you create that make it safe for people to check you out at a safe distance and slowly get closer to you and opt in to being in touch with you.

Imagine Oprah Winfrey tells everyone to check you out. Vaguely mentions what you do but not enough to give anyone a real sense of it. So, what do they do? They check you out online. But, what if you don’t have a website? Or what if your website doesn’t really clarify what you’re about? So many people would see your site, maaaaybe bookmark it . . . and then be gone forever.

But what if they found your website and the homepage immediately helped them figure out if what you were doing was a fit or not, the ‘about me’ page gave them a really good sense of who you were and what you were about. And then there was a way they could sign up for things to be in touch with you (e.g. ‘join my email list and get this free gift’ or ‘follow me on twitter or facebook’ or ‘come to my monthly free workshop’ etc). Imagine the following you’d build over time.

For a container to be effective, it needs to be clear (which means the platform should be clear). It’s good if it’s safe and welcoming, but atthe bottom line it needs to be resonant.

If they’re on Island A and trying to get to Island B, your container is, basically, your boat. And of course, a boat might have many rooms in it or different types of tours you could take people on (the different offers you could make).

Your container is the home made ready for the party. When they show up that they want to stay. They get to the door and they’re nervous, but then they smell the food, they see how beautifully decorated it is, they see the wonderful people inside, they’re greeted with a cup of hot apple cider and they hear the beautiful music etc.

One of my colleagues Bill Baren recently shared a thought about this. He had a client who was promoting a teleseminar and there was a webpage people would go to to register for the teleseminar. They were obsessed with reaching more people. But Bill asked them to pause and check out what percentage of people who were actually going to the landing page were signing up. It turned out that 10% of people who hit the page actually entered in their name and email to register for the free teleseminar. That means 90% hit the page and just left.

Doesn’t it make more sense,” he offered. “To see if we can tweak the page to boost the percent of people that say yes? Isn’t that a better use of energy? Instead of investing so much time and effort in getting more people, let’s see if we first can’t get more results from the people who are already coming. Right now we’ve got a tub with a huge leak. Instead of pouring in more and more water, let’s plug the leak first.”

When there’s no container it can be so confusing, ‘I’m doing everything right and I’m not getting any clients!’

Think of online dating. You create a profile. And then, you get a message from someone. But do you open the message right away? Often not. Most often, people will check out, ‘who is it that sent this message?’. So you go to their profile and, within seconds, you’ve determined whether or not it’s a fit. Your profile is a container. The message is just a path that gets them to it. Make sure the container is good.

Having a strong and clear container is the basis for creating ongoing , long term relationships with your clients.

And that’s vital.

Most entrepreneurs are obsessed with getting new clients. But it’s often much, much, easier to get an existing client to come back than to find someone entirely new. A massage therapist might make $100 on their first hour long massage (to keep number simple). But if that client comes back even three times a year for three years – that’s $900. The front end ($100) always pales in comparison to the back end ($900). And with some work (less than you’d fear, but more than you’d hope) you can increase the backend. What if they came in 4 times a year for three years? Suddenly, it’s $1200. With no new clients. And what if each of those clients referred even one new client? What if you offered workshops, products or other packages to them? Without a single new client you could be making much more money. And having your clients feel so much more supported.

Your container is your sales funnel. It’s the levels of offerings you have. It goes from the free samples to the bronze, silver and then gold levels.

I was in a Gaelic short film in the summer of 2011. You’d think that I would be spreading the word to everyone I know about it. But I haven’t. Why? There’s no website. No DVD’s are available. There’s no email list people can sign up for. Where would I send them?

One of my dearest colleagues has yet to create a website that’s really worthy of his work yet. I adore him. I want to spread the word for him. But he has no email sign up form yet. His homepage feels a bit vague. And I’m only going to have one chance to launch him to my list. I want that to count. I want it to matter. If I send people now, they’ll go and leave and he’ll get very little from it. I don’t want to waste my time.

A good container creates instant and ever deepening clarity.

A bad container creates confusion.

And I hate confusion. If you ask me to spread the word about you and you’ve got a bad container, it puts the burden on me to explain it all and make it clear to the people I’m spreading the word to. It makes it hard. Don’t make my life hard. If you have a bad container you’re not ready to approach hubs yet.

I want to be able to take one look at your boat and say ‘I get it’. Just from the kinds of boat, types of sails, the paint job, clothing of the staff on board . . . I want to know what the platform is. I want to know: aha! this is an adventure boat or a luxury boat or a fun times boat or a new agey boat.

If you offer some kind of therapy, I want to know, ‘is it in person or over the phone? Am I sitting or lying down? Am I hooked up to some fancy machine? Are you touching me? Am I naked? Are all these things happening at once? (awesome).’

Remember: the confused mind says ‘no’.

Before someone even thinks about stepping onto your boat they need to know what kind of trip they’re in for. And people hate it when their expectations are broken. They got on what seemed like the ‘classy’ boat but it turns out it was the ‘raunchy’ boat. Then people are pissed.

Amway has a bad reputation for this. You meet someone. They seem nice. They invite you for ‘coffee’. You end up getting a 45 minute presentation. It’s sneaky. The beauty of a good container is that it’s immensely upfront.

Real life example: you go out an tell someone about what i do (path). they say cool and check out my website (container) and like it because of all the unique content that expresses what i’m about (platform). I run a free teleseminar (container). It’s hosted by a colleague who tells all of their friends via their email list (path). While they’re on the teleseminar I tell them about a next thing i have (path). So a container can also be a path. Once they’re in relationship with us there’s just an ongoing deepening. I tend to think of the path as ‘how do they find out about things?’

In my Six Week course I’m running right now, one of my clients shared this, “don’t forget the path to your website, it doesn’t matter how awesome your website looks, if there is no path to it, it’s as though it doesn’t exist. the main paths that a paying client would take to your website are search engine searches. so you have to know what your clients would be searching for (keywords) and you have to tell them something on your website that would show them that you have the answers.”

The platform is the gift you want to give. The container is the making of it. The platform is what you want to offer to the world. But not offering it in a foisting it upon others and being pushy kind of way. I think of the container as more like a space you create that you carefully invite people to. And you design the space so clearly that it would inherently attract people who are a perfect fit for you.

There’s a chain of hotels I heard about the models it’s boutique hotels after magazines. So, one hotel is a Rolling Stone magazine style hotel. Another is a Chatelaine style hotel. That kind of thing. You can imagine what the Rolling Stone style hotel would look like and how, even in the colours, construction, design of the rooms, food served might be different. They are not generic hotels. They’re particular. The hotel (container) perfectly expresses the platform (the magazine).

When we first start out, our container is like an old one room house. There’s really not much to it. We offer one thing. Maybe that’s individual sessions, workshops, a particular product etc. And it’s a lot to even get that together. But, as we grow our business, we have a chance to add rooms to our house. With each room, extension, addition and beautification we can hold more people and make our home more resonant with the right folks. Of course, each addition to the house is a project. And these projects often take longer than we’d think and go over budget and we’re left thinking, ‘is this worth it?’. Because while we’re working on that we’re not making money. But eventually, it’s all done and we step back and get chills. Our house is a little more beautiful and exciting to us. And we want to show everyone. And, eventually, our home is perfect. Not too big and not too small. It’s got just the right number of rooms all painted just the right colours. There are minor fixes to be made but, basically, we’re there.

And, at that point, our attentions moves mostly to creating more paths to our place. So, much of this process is about our time and attention. At first, most of it goes to the platform. Then it moves into creating the container. And then the paths.

Here’s an odd way of looking at your container. Have you ever dated someone and realized it wasn’t going anywhere? It had gone as far as it was going to go? So what did you do? Likely you left them. There was no more potential. Nothing else to get or give. Clients are like that too. If the show up and check out your website and there’s lots of free stuff but there’s no products to buy, no workshops to attend, no next steps . . . they will just drift away and find someone else who can better help them on their journey. A container is not simply a static thing. It’s a series of invitations into something more deep and wonderful.

The container has a lot to do with being ready. Preparing our home to receive guests. Making sure we’re ready for when they show up. Being craftsmen of our arts. Attention to details. Small things matter. Wrapping our gifts as beautifully as we can. This gives us a sense of pride. We’re excited (not embarrassed) to send people to our website. We can’t wait to show off our cafe. We know that the details are handled so we don’t fuss about them. We can relax. The container, we find, not only holds the potential client – it holds us too.

 

water pump 300x212 three foundations of a thriving businessFoundation #3: The Path

If the platform is the bucket design, and the container is the bucket, then the path is a faucet that water comes out of (and I suppose your clients and income would be the water). Not much point in having a beautiful bucket if it’s going to sit there empty all the time.

Another analogy: So many people set up their businesses in the middle of a forest with no paths leading to it. They are hoping that somehow, lost in the woods, the right people will stumble upon them and want to buy what they’re offering.

The more paths you have leading to your doorstep the more easily you can be found. This is the heart of marketing, making it easy for the right people who are a perfect fit to find you and say ‘yes’ to working with you.

But there are so very many ways to market what we do.

And that can feel overwhelming. Where do we start? Especially when everyone has an opinion about what the ‘best’ form of marketing is. There’s public speaking, writing, hosting events, social media, PR, advertising, online events, free samples of our work . . . So much.

Weight watchers has an interesting and very down to earth take on this. When doing their workshops, they’ll ask their audiences, ‘what do you think is the best form of exercise for weight loss?’ and people will throw out their opinions: running, walking, swimming etc. And then they’ll say, ‘Here’s the truth. There is one form of exercise that is the best. It’s proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to be the most effective form of exercise for weight loss. Do you want to know what it is? The best exercise is . . . the one you’ll do.’

And there it is.

The one you’ll do.

I think the analogy of paths is good for another reason: they’re already looking for us. People are already struggling with certain problems and symptoms and looking for relief. Let’s make it as easy as possible for them to find us by making as many clear paths through the woods as we can. The easier you are the find, the more easily you will be found.

Many people think that marketing is about searching people in the forest. But we need to remember, the people we think we need to search for are already searching for us. And they’re highly motivated. So, let’s put our energy not into chasing anyone but into getting very clear about who the perfect someone’s are that we want to work with, creating wonderful and inspiring containers to receive them into and then making it almost impossible for them not to find out about us and check us out in low risk ways.

We can’t always afford to lay down a highway to our doorstep. Start with trails of breadcrumbs. Start where you can with the types of paths that resonate most with you.

When there are no paths it’s like you’ve got this amazing thing that nobody knows about.

My suggestion to you: pick three paths. Pick three marketing tactics and strategies that feel really good for you and invest deeply into them. Do you like writing? Speaking? Hosting? Think about the ways of expressing yourself that you are naturally drawn to and delve deep into those.

When a business has all three of these, a clear platform, a strong container and easy paths they tend to have all the business they can handle.

What do you think?

love letter your business

me1 love letter your businessHere’s another brilliant post from Chris Kay Fraser about how to bring a bit more self love into your business.

*

Hi again!

It’s me, *Chris Kay Fraser, in the second part of my 3-part series on using writing to create balance, boundary and joy for you, on your self-employed adventure.

If you are reading this blog, chances are that you work for yourself, and that you love your job. It’s awesome, right? But here’s the thing: Love is crazy-ass fuel. No matter how nourishing your businesses may be to others, it only nourishes you when you can approach it with a deep sense of self-compassion.

Today I want to shine the light on our creative lives. As a creative coach and facilitator, I’m constantly seeing how words are funny little animals. They can communicate absolutely nothing, (“How are you?” “Oh, fine. You?” “Oh, fine.”) or they can change the shape of your whole day. They can snooze in the corner or roar off the page. It all depends on how alive your creative senses are.

If you’re in a business where you find yourself using words a lot (who isn’t?) then it’s essential to keep shaking yourself up – to get out of your word-ruts, to let them roar and twinkle. Here are some ways that I like to do this.

cut up 2 love letter your business~ Cut stuff up. There are weird and illuminating little poems everywhere. Here’s one exercose. As you may know, the popular astrologer *Rob Brezny has an amazing vocabulary. When I’m looking for a quick creative burst I’ll cut our my weekly horoscope and create a poem only using those words. In fact, when my sister was traveling in Europe last year, I made her a “Brezny poem” every week for a few months. It was a beautiful project! * Attach an image

~ Write “Right Now I” at the top of a page, turn on some music (without words works best for me, try this peaceful track by Edgar Meyer and Bela Fleck.) and write to the bottom of the page, no farther.

~ Check out my free audio mini-workshops. These are fun, free tools to help get your pen flying. There’s a new one every month, offered as a gift. Older workshops can be downloaded for a small fee. They take 25 minutes and are guaranteed to shake out some major creative juices.

~ Drop the guilt. I’ve never met anyone who has the full, flowing creative life they want to have. Don’t worry about books you haven’t read or letters you haven’t written. Just write one, today. A small one. Bite-sized.

~ Use tiny bits of time. Ten minutes will do the job. So will two. One writer I know talks about J5M: Just Five Minutes. J5M’s are great tools for busy creative types. Personally, I love writing in the time it takes the subway to get from one stop to the next, or to set myself little challenges: An entire story about that guy’s shoes before we get to Bathurst Station.  These are often far more interesting than the things I write when I carve out an entire evening.

~ Shower yourself with inspiration! We live in the age of resources and creativity is no exception. Some of the things I could not live without are books by SARK and Sabrina Ward Harrison, *The Writers Almanac and *The Sun Magazine. There are also tons of creative e-classes out there which can provide affordable, inspiring juice for your writing path. Jamie Ridler runs an especially-brilliant one called *“Sparkles” which provides participants with a prompt every day for a month for a creative activity that won’t take more than five minutes.

~ “Like” me on facebook! Ha! That one was seriously self-interested, but I do think I can help if this is a path you want to follow. I use my facebook page to send out teeny-tiny creative exercises and ideas. “What’s the word of your day so far?” “If your mood right now had a color, what would it be?” “Describe one of your great life kisses in 50 words or less.”

How about you? Do you have creative resources you love to use, that other people might not have found? How do you keep your creative lights on? What happens when they go out?

Tell me all about it below….

More from me tomorrow! The final post in this series will be about celebrating yourself and your business through love letters.

creative writing + marketing = <3

me creative writing + marketing = <3A long overdue blog from my Toronto colleague Chris Kay Fraser of www.fireflycreativewriting.com. She’ll be writing a few more posts coming up about how creative writing can help you with your marketing.

Words Are Funny Little Animals

Using creative writing to create balance, boundary and beauty in your business life.

(For Tad’s Awesome Blog)

Does this sound familiar? It’s late, and I’m at the computer, my forehead resting in my hand. I can’t remember the last time I got up. Somewhere beyond my consciousness, my body is registering signs of major fatigue. My eyes are blurry, no matter how much I rub them. But I want to put in another hour.

Now, I don’t want to be presumptuous, but if you’re reading Tad’s fabulous blog, you’re probably at some stage of self-employment. And, with the fall coming, I’m guessing that you have a lot of work ahead of you, and you’re wondering how you’re going to take care of it while you get it all done.

Before I was self-employed I imagined that it would  be like a gorgeous meadow of freedom and time. I learned quickly, though, that I’m not always my best boss. Any other boss would take one look at me on that late-night computer binge and say, “Holy crap, girl. Go to bed.” It would be unethical to work someone else this hard.

But it’s only me in here, and my motivation is often stronger than my self-compassion.

So, I’m here, hijacking Tad’s blog for a couple posts to talk about how I’ve managed, and not managed, to use writing to navigate the sometimes-stormy waters of my self-employed adventure, which will heretofore be referred to as my S.E.A. My business is writing* – I run workshops and retreats, cajoling out people’s stories. Slowly, I’ve realized just how much magic these tools have in store for my and my business itself.

Writing has formed a little life-raft for me, for when the self-employed seas are choppy. In the next few blog posts, I’ll give you some ideas and questions and toots to make a life raft your own. Of course, you could also make a cruise-boat with patio chairs and indoor pools. Or a dark green submarine. The metaphor is yours.

In the next three posts, I’m going to share three tools with you.

1. The work journal.

2. Keeping the creative lights on.

3. Self-loving-love letters.

 

I’d also like to hear your stories. Please don’t be shy to use the box below to chime in. We’re only as alone as we allow.

journal 1024x880 creative writing + marketing = <3Here’s the first tool I’ll offer you: The work journal.

This is a pretty simple concept. Every morning, before I sit down at my computer, before I take any calls or start reading through anyone’s stories, I take out my work journal and I write, draw or doodle one page about how I feel.

There’s no formula, the idea is just to slow down enough to connect to what’s really going on before I begin my day. Sometimes I draw a little face to show my mood, sometimes I record dreams, sometimes I rant about something that’s upsetting me.

At the end of the day, I do the same thing. This may happen at four in the afternoon or it may not happen until 2am. It’s important to me that I’m not putting limits when my workday should end, just ensuring that it does end, and that I’m not carrying my work into my sleep and dreams.

Keeping a work journal lets me:

1. Gently witness what’s happening in my work day. No matter how hard I work myself, how tired I get, I need to be willing to see it. This makes a little bit of room for the self-compassion which is often lacking when I’m not paying attention.

2. See trends arising in my emotional life. If I’ve started every morning anxious for five days, I can begin to ask important questions and address what’s really going on.

3. Consciously start and end my day. Since I work from home and there’s no actual space between myself and my business, the work journal is an important symbol for opening and closing my day. It’s a little like flicking on and off a light in the office in my brain.

4. It reminds me that I am more than my business. When I first started the work journal, I became aware of how long a day really was! After ending my day, instead of mindlessly heading back to the computer to send more emails, I began to play the guitar more, I took the time to weed my garden, or call my parents. I bought a ukelele and taught myself to play. I took a hula hoping class. I have a lot to thank that little book for.

So? What does this say to you?

Does the idea sound terrible and limiting or is it exciting and inviting? Have you tried anything similar yourself? Would you consider it?

Talk to me!

And stay tuned…. My next post on this blog will be on keeping your creative lights shining.

guest post: learning webs

220px Zygiella web guest post: learning websI was in Thailand a month ago, chatting with my friend Shilpa Jain.

We were talking about how people learn things.

And she shared this idea of a learning web. And how there are different ways we can learn things.

As she spoke, my mind immediately raced to the relevance for business.

shilpa guest post: learning websLearning Webs – Back to the Source

by Shilpa Jain

I’ve been working in the field of ‘alternatives’ to education for a long while now – really since I was  a young’un, running around my neighborhood, inventing my own games and art, reading books of my choice, etc. 

Though by its own measures, I did “well” in traditional public school (by which I mean, I got good grades), I never really liked school – its competitions, its limits, its labels, its random subjects disconnected from real life and real issues. 

As I got older and started learning more about the historic roots of the education system and its impacts on diverse communities over the world, I realized that my personal dislike was well-founded.  This system has been wreaking havoc on individuals and communities for a couple centuries now. 

And it’s time to stop.

Mostly, people agree on the ills of schooling.  They know it’s cutting kids off from interactions with their families and neighbors; from a sacred connection with Mother Nature; from their own bodies, hands and spirits.  And, they know it’s a rat race, and a lot of people suffer from the labels and competition imposed through schooling. 

AND, they know that it’s not helping in solving the problems we are up against – but, instead, is actually feeding them by producing more capitalistic, obedient and submissive consumers… 

But when it comes to other possibilities, people are often at a loss.  There is the endless call for ‘reforming public education’ – which for many folks means a ‘better’ version of the same thing: just smaller classrooms, better trained teachers, more technology, better textbooks, etc. 

Others are experimenting with charter schools, democratic schools, free schools – or homeschooling cooperatives, unschooling, natural learning communities….   Despite their creativity and the numerous generative possibilities they are opening up, they are usually called ‘elitist’ and dismissed on the grounds of being inapplicable to the ‘majority’.  Which is unfortunate.

I want to add a little more to this conversation in my own support of self-designed and community-supported learning:  learning webs.   

A few months ago, I was invited to host a workshop for an innovative educational experiment in Puerto Rico called Nuestra Escuela (Our School).  They are built on a mission of love.  They are committed to throwing out labels of ‘juvenile delinquent’, ‘at-risk’, ‘dropout’, ‘failure’, etc. and instead embracing the brilliance, creativity and potential of the young people (ages roughly 13-18) in their communities. 

They asked me to help support them with thinking about how to nuture deep learning and collaboration in Nuestra Escuela – something that would align with their mission and vision.

I started reflecting on the answers to the question, “What is one of the most meaningful learning experiences you have had?”  I, and the community I worked with in India, Shikshantar asked this question a lot, as we were working to generate alternatives to the education system. 

Invariably, the kinds of answers people gave had to do with one (or more) of these six relationships/opportunities:

1.     mentors – someone who inspires you, who can guide you, who gives meaningful support to you in times that matter

2.     experiments – personal and collective – little challenges that you give yourself, or that you agree to do with a group, to stretch yourself, come closer to your spirit and truth, and to live in greater alignment with your values

3.     apprenticeships/internships – longer-term commitments to deeply learn something that matters to you, usually with folks who have some kind of expertise in the field

4.     travel: journeys and visits – going to interact with people and places where what you want to learn is happening; the journey itself is often part of the learning experience

5.     self-study: looking at books, films, websites, etc. that delve into the different aspects of your interest area

6.     reflection: writing, journaling, creative expression of some kind, to digest what you’re learning, capture your understandings, and reflect them to others who can give you feedback as well

I like to image these six things as spokes coming off of a center point – which is where you put your question or the subject you want to learn.  It could be anything from ‘organic farming’, to ‘indigenous history’, to ‘how can I have a healthy relationship with my partner?’, to ‘how can I become less angry and more patient?’ 

After you have a sense of what you want, and that can be a group or collective decision too, you generate the mentors, experiments, apprenticeships, travel, self-study and reflection that can help you learn it. 

As our friends at the Berkana Institute say, “Start anywhere. Follow it everywhere.”  That’s how you grow your learning web – by being as curious as you can be and committing to learning as much as you can.  If you remember that everyone is a source/resource, with lots to share in terms of experiences, ideas, stories, and questions, there is simply an endless supply of possibilities.

There is no limit to the number and diversity of personal and collective learning webs that can be generated. It only depends on what you can balance and handle.  And, as they say in Open Space, “Be prepared to be surprised!” 

Learning webs can lead you to amazing aha!’s, wonderful relationships, and many other things that you couldn’t have known when you started.  They knit you back to the real world and to the web of life. They encourage compassion, communication, complexity and commitment.  They enliven your imagination and root you with purpose.

Most importantly, they return the power of learning to the source: you and your collectivities.  And, for me, when we harvest the power of our individual and collective wisdom, well, we’ve found what we need to build a world that works for all beings.

My reflections on this:

  • are you stuck trying to teach your content to your clients using only one strand of the learning web? What might happen if instead of doing the traditional teleseminars and workshops you were to support people in learning in other ways? Is it possible that we get so stuck on ‘giving info’ that we don’t pay enough attention to their learning?
  • if you’re stuck trying to learn something, might another approach to learning work better for you?
  • are you relying only on high priced seminars and marketing gurus for your answers when the wisdom might be right there in your own community?

 What are your thoughts? Write them below in the comments.

guest post: ‘just listening’ by howie jacobson

hj headshot 20111 guest post: just listening by howie jacobsonby Howie Jacobson

In my last article, I talked about projection: what it is, why it keeps us from seeing the world as it really is, and how marketing offers us an opportunity to recognize and free ourselves from the grip of projection.

Now I want to talk about why it’s so important to liberate ourselves from projection. Not from a spiritual perspective, but from a marketing perspective.

The Ultimate Marketing Superpower: Empathy

Can we agree that empathy is one of the key skills necessary for successful marketing? If you can really understand what another person is thinking and feeling, then you can craft products and services and offers that appeal to that person’s sensibilities. And you can talk about those products and services in a relevant, respectful and attractive way.

Think of Nick Marshall, Mel Gibson’s character in the movie What Women Want. When his accidental electrocution gives him the gift to hear women’s thoughts, he immediately becomes the star advertising executive at his agency, celebrated for his ability to market effectively to women.

If you were suddenly given that ability, to hear the innermost thoughts of your prospects – their selfish desires, their secret fears, their poignant stories – can you see how that knowledge would instantly solve 99% of your marketing problems?

Getting the Data is Easy

On the web, all the data we require is at our fingertips. We can reverse engineer Google’s organic listings to find out what the world’s smartest computer thinks people want.

We can eavesdrop on forums, on Facebook, on amazon reviews, on blog comments, and dozens of other places to hear the uncensored, passionate voices of our prospects. We can conduct inexpensive yet highly valuable surveys of our own to discover the deepest desires and hesitations of those who might buy from us.

So what’s the problem? I’m telling you to read the mind of your market, and I’m telling you exactly where to go to get the information. Why isn’t that the end of the story?

The Filter that Keeps Us Clueless

Have you ever listened to a radio or watched a television that got lousy reception? Lots of noise, static, snow, wavy lines, and fuzziness. Do you think the program sounded or looked that way coming out of the studio?

Of course not. The program signal was not the problem. The problem was the poor quality of the device; its inability to translate the incoming signal into clear and meaningful output.

Each of us operates from a filter that keeps us from true empathy. It’s called projection, and here’s how it works:

When I hear you talk about something, I search for meaning in my own past experience. If you say “toothache,” for example, I go back into the file called “Howie’s toothaches” to try to understand what you’re talking about.

When you say the assistant manager at the store was rude, I likewise superimpose my own vision of “rude” on your story. Until you elaborate, I might picture a young guy with dreadlocks and tattoos and piercings giving you the finger. Or I might imagine a snooty middle aged woman raising her eyebrows in disapproval of your request for a refund.

The word “rude” has meaning only in terms of my experience, either direct or second-hand (movies, books, friends’ stories, etc.).

Until I listen to you tell the straight-up facts of what happened from your perspective, I fill in the blanks based on my preconceptions. That’s projection.

Projection occurs much more subtly and pervasively. If I think you’re angry, or sad, or frustrated – chances are I’m interpreting a set of signals through my own distorting filter. “If I were acting that way, it would be because I was irritated,” I reason. So in my mind, you’re irritated. And with that interpretation now projected onto you, I look for confirmation and ignore all contradictory signals.

Projection vs. Empathy

As long as my mind engages in projection (which is only about 100% of the time), I can’t be truly empathetic to you. I can only be empathetic to me. So to the same extent that you and I are having different experiences or different interpretations of those experiences, I’m missing what’s meaningful for you.

In other words, while I think I’m looking at you, I’m actually just seeing myself in a mirror projected on your face.

The Sioux medicine man Fool’s Crow believed that he could be a conduit for healing only when he made himself into a “hollow bone,” a vessel for divine spirit that didn’t superimpose its own particular stories and struggles onto the person seeking healing.
When I read Tarot for clients or engage in Shamanic healing, I have to be exquisitely sensitive to the presence of my own stuff, so that I don’t end up giving someone else the medicine meant for me. When I throw the 4 of wands, for example, do I tell them to chuck the corporate gig for a walk on the wild side because that’s what the card means in this particular reading, or because my own life story concatenates with that interpretation?

Am I Marketing to Me?

If I don’t get familiar with my projections, my marketing turns into a narcissistic festival of self-love and self-loathing. The self-love part is easy to see: I think about what I would want someone to say to me, and then I say it to myself and pretend I’m saying it to you.

But self-loathing? Absolutely!

You know all those “marketing tricks” that seem to work but you really have no stomach for? Like false urgency and false scarcity? “Tomorrow only.” “19 17 12 6 spots left!”

Or manipulative pseudo-reciprocity? “Here’s a free gift. Isn’t it great. Now you owe me.”

Or appeals to the lowest self? “If you buy this your neighbors will bang their heads against the wall in jealousy. Beautiful women will leave their husbands for you. All those jerks in high school will be sorry they didn’t give you more respect.”

We fall back on these and dozens of other gambits because part of us has no respect for our own integrity. We despise and are deeply ashamed of that part, but when we project it outward, it feels better. “What a bunch of sheep they are! What a bunch of insecure losers!”

So we end up attracting the customers and clients who share our most awful traits, and then wonder why we complain about them.

And those judgments diminish our prospects in our eyes. To the extent that we cannot love them. And if you cannot love the people whose lives you are supposedly improving with your products and services, why on earth would they choose you? Because you need the money?

Getting Past Projection

If you’re a lot more spiritually advanced than me, you might have figured out a way to stop projecting. I haven’t. I project like an IMAX theater; consistently, relentlessly, and with alarming realism.

What I am getting better at is recognizing my own projections. The ones that come up every time. The ones that I now recognize as my own face, rather than the face of my prospect, my beloved.

I find that getting quiet on a regular basis helps tremendously. The art of empathy is essentially the art of listening with the head and the heart. When I sit quietly and stop trying to impose my interpretation on reality, I start to listen better. The static mutes and the authentic signal comes through.

And listening as a marketer only happens when I let go of effort, of will, of the need to sell something or convince somebody.

Marketing Minus Projection

When I come to listen with the agenda of manipulating your will, that’s not true listening. And you can sense that. And distrust it. And run from it, if you can.

But when I come with no agenda other than a thirst for truth, for your truth, then your words and thoughts and feelings come through undistorted. I can respond to you naturally in a way that you trust. The word respond comes from the French, meaning “to promise back.”

Whether we speak face to face, over the phone, via email, or whether you’re just one person in my “target market,” I can hear you only when I rest in my own integrity, when I promise back to you to dive into your fears, your pains, your desires, your stories only to serve your highest good. Not to plunder your secrets for my advantage.

In What Women Want, Nick initially uses his gift of mind-reading to climb the corporate ladder and seduce women. But almost despite himself, he begins to form friendships with his co-workers and develop respect for women. His gift of empathy is so powerful, his ego can’t maintain its manipulative stance.

Ultimately, he tells a hard truth and gets fired, and ends up losing his power in a storm as he rescues his secretary who was thinking suicidal thoughts. But he finds redemptive love, both from his estranged daughter and the women who ends up with his job.

His transformation complete, his manipulative power is no longer necessary. He has escaped from the prison of the mirror, and he can simply be, live, and respond to others from his own integrity. He has become trustworthy.
So may we all.

Howie Jacobson, PhD, is the author of Google AdWords For Dummies. He has been an online marketing strategist since 1999, helping clients use the internet to discover, understand, attract and serve their ideal customers. He writes for Fast Company and Harvard Business, and his hippie credentials include teaching at a Quaker School, delivering singing telegrams as a summer job, and playing Ultimate Frisbee every chance he gets. He currently lives with his family in South Africa, where he’s learning to drive a stick shift and be more patient. Follow him at @askhowie, like him at http://facebook.com/askhowie, or sign up for his newsletter at http://askhowie.com.

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