2010 September | marketingforhippies.com

Marketing, Safety and Men & Women

By: Tad | Published: September 23, 2010 · 4 Comments

Here’s a provocative and controversial blog post about marketing through the lense of man meeting a woman.

For me, it’s actually not a big stretch because I think marketing is all about building relationships.

Imagine, for a moment, that you’re a man. You’re walking down the street and you see a woman who lifts your heart and viscerally impacts you. She is sitting at a park bench, alone, finishing up her lunch.

And in a moment, she’ll be gone – maybe forever.

Imagine you’re that man.

You see her and immediately want to approach her.

But so many fears come up: ‘She’s probably busy. I don’t want to seem creepy. I bet she has a boyfriend. She wouldn’t be interested in someone like me. I didn’t shave today! I smell bad. I’ve been rejected before. It’s not polite to approach. I don’t want to be an oppressive male! I’m an ally to women and I’ll support her as an ally by giving her space.’ etc.

So he doesn’t approach. She gets up and leaves. He actually feels relieved.

This same dynamic replays itself in so many areas of our lives. We see someone who could be a client but we never introduce ourselves.

And it’s understandable.

It’s a ‘cold approach’. Which I generally advise against in my whole theory of Hub Marketing. But sometimes it’s all you’ve got to work with. Sometimes it’s a ‘cold approach’ or nothing. And many beautiful relationships start with two strangers saying ‘hello’.

As you read this, I invite you to think about how this relates to your sales and marketing. And the all important notion of creating safety in your marketing.

It’s got more to do with it than you might think.

Adam and his wife Amanda

The Direct Approach

- by Adam Lyons

This email is about an area of much confusion, yet an area of much significance. Going Direct.

What sets the really successful people apart from those that just fluff their way through relationships is the art of being direct. There are many myths and a lot of nonsense surrounding the direct approach. You may want to print out and keep this email – because in my continuing efforts to help you improve your love life – I am about to share the essentials of going direct that you really should know.

I would be surprised if the contents of this email did not translate to a significant difference to your dating life over the next year – if you apply all the principles we are going to cover. (By the way, if you’re totally new to the subject of going direct it simply refers to the art of stating your intentions truthfully to someone, no matter what they are and dealing with the results.)

First, lets dispel some of the myths about going direct. My favourite myth is ‘the direct approach doesn’t work.’ This ingenious conclusion is arrived at by the fact that you and I know that most people brush off direct approaches from random strangers all the time.

The truth is that whilst a high proportion may walk away from a complete random stranger a good proportion will at least listen to what you initially say. If you have enough qualities of attraction right from the start then the confidence you show by approaching someone directly can often be enough to swing things into your favour, at least to the point that you will have their attention.

Now at this I can hear a number of people thinking to themselves, (girls esspecially) that they would come across as “easy.” However, that isn’t necessarily the case. It’s all based on what you say when you do approach someone.

When done correctly there is almost nothing as beautiful as telling someone exactly what you think about them and having them return that thought with a positive response, as essentially you have just given them a massive compliment.

Though it is important to understand what it is ok to compliment on. Compliments are covered quite extensively in the Personal Study Course so I won’t go over them again here. However, it is important to understand that a compliment should only ever be given on something that is earned. i.e. something someone has taken time over acheiving, and not something they are graced with naturally.

After alot of experimentation I’ve found something that I find works particulalry well. Feel free to change it or come up with your own, as it’s often better to tailor phrases to your own style. Remember, it is important to understand what each of the phrases represents, and why they’re included.

“Hey, I’m so sorry to bother you. I’m on my way to meet a few friends but you look really interesting. On top of that, you have a pretty friendly face for someone in the city, so I knew I’d be kicking myself all day if I didn’t take the time to say hi . . . So, hi, I’m Adam“

Now there’s a lot in that.

lets break it down piece by piece;

“Hey, I’m so sorry to bother you, – Being polite is important, it starts things off on a good foot without being rude, and also gives them a reason to pause and listen further. Who knows, maybe you’re lost and seeking directions.

I’m on my way to meet a few friends – This does two things. Mentioning friends shows that you’re a sociable person, so therefore are unlikely to be too weird, at least not so weird that you don’t have friends. Secondly, it drags out the conversation a little bit more, to ensure they’re standing still ready for the rest.

but, – If used with a pause it creates anticipation, as the word “but” removes the meaning behind everything spoken previously. It says you actually aren’t sorry for approaching and did approach them on purpose.

you look really interesting – Here we have an ambiguous compliment. It is nothing to get too big headed about, and in fact is more likely to generate a lot of questions from them as they wonder what exactly is interesting about them. We all love to hear about ourselves.

On top of that have a pretty friendly face for someone in the city -This really is powerful. Who could possibly resist being nice to someone who told them they looked friendly? It’s very rare for us not to live up to positive statements made with reference to us. So if nothing else, they are likely to respond positively to you.

so I knew I’d be kicking myself all day if I didn’t take the time to say hi. – This gives a justification for the whole interaction and explains why you actually did the approach. Otherwise it is almost guaranteed that the first response would be them asking why you’re talking to them.

So, hi, I’m Adam” – This gets things going for the rest of the interaction.

Going direct is an art and science in itself – and you may want to practice many different ways of doing it. There are some fundamentals which you will want to follow. Here are four of them to keep you going:

1) Remember to have as many qualities of attraction as possible. If you aren’t congruent with an attractive person, then it won’t work as well. Imagine being approached by someone lacking confidence. It just wouldn’t inspire you to talk to them.

2) Don’t be afraid to keep going after a failed approach, this is essentially a numbers game until you get comfortable with it. Remember it’s only weird if you genuinely try and date everyone you meet. There is nothing wrong with meeting new people as friends. Re-read the phrase above, you’ll see it works just as well as a tool to meet new people.

3) Always smile- it will significantly increase the positive response rate.

4) Make sure you follow up the initial meeting with a text instantly! It will capture the moment and make it last a lot longer, it will have a greater impact this way.

For more advice on attraction including how to continue the interaction after the initial approach, check out the Personal Study Course.

Have fun!

Adam Lyons

So, please leave your comments below – what do you think? If you’re a woman – would you prefer a man be direct and honest in his approach over using some other excuse to talk with you? And how does this relate to marketing your own business – or other marketing you’ve experienced.

If you’d like get cool posts like this in your inbox every few days CLICK HERE to subscribe to my blog and you’ll also get a free copy of my fancy new ebook “Marketing for Hippies” when it’s done.

| Categories: marketing strategy, marketing tactics - Tags: authenticity, building trust, pressure free, real, safety

How to Do Cold Calls Hippy Style

By: Tad | Published: September 22, 2010 · 1 Comment

In my mind, Ari Galper has single handedly transformed and revolutionized the world of cold calling. He’s taken something everyone hates and turned it into something people love. A minor miracle – here is just a taste of what he’s got to say on the subject. Check out his website for more (and a free Cold Calling course – brilliant!)

Cold Calling Mini-Lesson
-by Ari Galper, “Unlock The Game” TM

Suppose cold calling could be as natural and comfortable as calling someone you already know. It’s possible. Cold calling, with the Unlock The Game™ mindset, shows you how to stay relaxed, create a two-way dialogue and help your potential client overcome their fear that you have a hidden agenda (hint: with the Unlock The Game™ mindset, hidden agendas are not allowed).

The Mindset

Before you even pick up the phone to make a cold call, are you thinking to yourself, “I hope this call leads to an appointment“?

Where is your mind focused? Probably on your need to trigger enough interest from your potential client that you get closer to a sale. You also might be assuming that, because you believe so strongly in your product or service, the person you’re calling should listen to what you have to say.

Focusing on your need to make a sale has nothing to do with the truth of your potential client’s situation or whether you can help them or not. That’s the mental conflict that starts creating the rejection in cold calling.

Start shifting your mindset to think of a cold call not as a means to a sale but as a way to create an dialogue that will help others tell you the truth about their needs.

Also, your willingness to accept either a “yes” or a “no” from your potential clients, rather than pursuing only a “yes,” unlocks the mindset.

The Language

When you cold call, do you start off with phrases like:

•   ”Hi, my name is John. I’m with XYZ Company and we are a…I’m wondering if you might have a few minutes?“
•   ”Hi, my name is Sheryl. I’m with XYZ Consulting. How are you this morning?“

These introductions have been used for years and continue to be taught in traditional sales training programs. As you know, these introductions immediately associate you with the negative image of a salesperson.

When potential clients hear you, what happens? They become defensive with rejection-filled phrases like “Thank you, but we’re not interested” or “We’re happy with our present vendor.”

How can you eliminate the traditional “salesperson” image and avoid triggering pressure with the person you are calling?

Consider this simple solution:

•   ”Hi. Maybe you can help me out for a second.”

That’s it. After you say this (in a low-key, soft-spoken way), simply pause and wait until your potential client replies:

•   ”Sure, how can I help you?” or “Sure, I’ll try.”

Let’s stop and examine what has just happened here. You didn’t push to sell anything; you just asked for help. When people are asked for help, what happens? They usually respond by offering to help. You begin the conversation in a humble manner, reducing traditional buyer-seller sales pressure.

Where Do You Go From Here?

The path of the conversation can take several turns at this point. But here are a few hints of what to avoid:

•   Don’t start with your “sales pitch” (offering your solution before you have agreed on specific problems only creates more sales pressure)
•   Don’t convey over confidence — for the sale — to your potential client (you haven’t built trust yet, so all that exists as this point is mistrust)
•   Don’t let it be about you and your solution until you’ve learned what their problems and needs are.

You have now been briefly exposed to the first step of Unlock The Game™ mindset and language related to cold calling. Each step after “Hi, maybe you can help me out for a second”, is thoroughly discussed in the Self-Study Program, covering each path you might take on your cold call.

In addition, every potential objection you might hear (i.e. “What are you selling?”, “We already have a vendor”, “Send me information”, “We don’t have the budget”, etc.) is thoroughly analyzed and addressed with a response based on the Unlock The Game™ mindset.

If you’d like get cool posts like this in your inbox every few days CLICK HERE to subscribe to my blog and you’ll also get a free copy of my fancy new ebook “Marketing for Hippies” when it’s done.

| Categories: marketing tactics, Sales - Tags: building trust, pressure free, safety

7 Ways to Stop Chasing Decision Makers

By: Tad | Published: September 22, 2010 · Leave a Comment

11ari 7 Ways to Stop Chasing Decision Makers Ari Galper hits a homerun with this piece as he describes his unique approach to reach decision makers without pressuring or tricking anybody. Brilliant.

7 Ways to Stop Chasing Decision Makers
By Ari Galper, Founder of Unlock The Game ™

You probably know this scenario well: Your main contact at a company has expressed interest in possibly purchasing your product or service.

You’ve had the pleasant conversations, you’ve heard “Yes, we’re definitely interested” and “Yes, I’m the decision maker,” and you’re excited about making the sale happen.

You’ve put your heart and soul into doing what you’re best at — explaining the benefits of your solution but working hard not to come across “salesy” or pushy.

As far as you’re concerned, you’ve done everything right.

Now you’re on the phone with your contact. You’re hoping this will be your last conversation before they fax the contract through.

Finally you ask, “So, is the agreement ready to be signed?” There’s a silence, and then you hear the disheartening words: “Oh, I realize that I should really have Mike and Julie, look at it before I send it over.”

Talk about being set up to believe everything was going to be smooth sailing — now a big wave has overturned the boat and it’s sinking fast!

Why didn’t he tell you he wasn’t the final decision maker? Why did he lead you on?

Most important, what can you do to stop this from happening again?

Don’t despair! Here are seven ways to end the chasing game with decision makers:

1. Understand the psychology of working in an organization.

No one in an organization wants to make a wrong decision and then be left holding the bag and looking bad. What’s more, in many cases even CEOs of companies can’t make final decisions without the other executives on their team buying in.

So, even if your contact tells you that he or she is the only one making the decision, in most cases that’s highly unlikely, especially in larger organizations. Once you understand that, you’ll find it easier to roll with the news that others are actually involved in signing off on the decision.

2. Make sure your contact has the authority to sign the agreement without approval from others.

How many times have you been told: “I’m the decision maker, and I decide if we’ll purchase your solution or not”? Contacts may say this with total confidence, and we usually take them at their word, only to discover later that they didn’t want us bypassing them to get to the other decision makers. Here’s how you can avoid this situation: After they tell you they are the decision maker, you simply say in a relaxed, easy-going conversational manner, “Oh, okay. No problem. So, basically you’re the only person who signs the agreement, and no one else needs to be involved with this decision?”

It’s amazing what happens when you ask this question. First, there’s likely to be a short silence, and then all of a sudden you learn that other decision makers are involved. Once you know this, you can rethink your approach.

3. Don’t panic when you discover other decision makers are involved.

Don’t get thrown off track when you suddenly learn, deep into the sales process, that other decision makers need to be involved in the decision. When this happens, gently suggest that it might make sense to come up with a way to get them involved with the proposal so they won’t be caught off guard.

4. Suggest a conference call to connect with the decision makers.

Suppose you find out that two other decision makers are involved. Now you have a total of three! What can you do to avoid the delay that’s inevitable when your contact tells you, “I need to get hold of Mike and Julie, but they’re both traveling, so I’ll get back to you after I speak with them”? This situation is often the black hole of selling, because you can wait for weeks until your contact tracks down Mike and Julie and gets back to you.

Here’s how to avoid this: You simply say, “Okay. No problem. Sounds as if Mike and Julie are an important part of the process…I’m wondering if it might make sense to pull together a brief conference call with you and them so that they can get an overview of what’s happening. That way you can avoid chasing them down, and everyone can get up to speed at the same time. Does that make sense?” Also, the answer you get will tell you a lot about where you really stand. If your contact says, “Sure. That makes sense. Let me schedule it,” things are looking good. But if you hear, “Nah, I’ll just try and get hold of them when I can and then get back to you,” he could be saying, “We aren’t really that interested.”

5. Work with your main contact to set the agenda for the conference call.

If your contact agrees to the conference call, spend some time working together on a well-thought-out agenda. Emphasize that your main purpose is simply to inform the others about what has happened so far. It’s crucial that you assure your contact that during the call you will in no way apply any type of sales pressure on the other decision makers.

Why is this important? Because many times contacts are reluctant to pull together a call because they’re afraid that the salesperson will put the participants on the spot, and that would make things awkward for everyone. When you begin the call, simply say, “The purpose of our call today is simply to bring you up to speed on what has happened so far so you all have the information you need to think this solution through at your own pace. Here at XYZ, we don’t believe in pressuring people to make decisions.”

Your contact will love you for this.

6. Ask your contact to arrange the conference call.

When you suggest a conference call with all the decision makers, it’s important to put your contact at ease. Too often, salespeople get anxious and say, “I’d be happy to contact the other folks and schedule the call for a time that works for all of us,” but that may make your contact think you’re going to try to influence the others before the call.

To avoid accidentally triggering any “sales alarms,” simply ask your contact if he or she would be open to coordinating the call: “It might make sense if you could e-mail them to coordinate a time for all of us to connect, since you’re closer to them than I would be.”

7. Get to the truth about where the deal stands.

So you have the conference call and you feel it went well, with lots of good discussion. Your intuition is telling you that everyone seemed positive about your solution. Now you want to find out the truth about where the deal stands, but you need to be careful not to call your contact and put subtle pressure on him or her to give you a final answer.

You want to get that answer without asking outright, but you can’t until you’ve uncovered the truth about where everyone stands. When you call your contact back, don’t use the tired phrase, “I’m just calling to follow up.” That just kicks off sales pressure. Instead, say, “I’m just giving you a call to see what kinds of questions the others on the call might have, since those types of calls don’t always address everyone’s issues or concerns.” This will allow your contact to talk about where he or she stands, and you can then ask, “Where do you think we should go from here?”

These seven tips will help you put an end to the dreaded game of chasing decision makers.

If you’d like get cool posts like this in your inbox every few days CLICK HERE to subscribe to my blog and you’ll also get a free copy of my fancy new ebook “Marketing for Hippies” when it’s done.

| Categories: marketing tactics, Sales - Tags: authenticity, pressure free, real, safety

How to Use E-Mail “Cold Calls” Without Falling into the SPAM Trap!

By: Tad | Published: September 22, 2010 · 3 Comments

Another brilliant piece from Ari Galper about how to send that ‘first email’ to someone you think could be a good fit for your products or services. This is worth its weight in gold.

How to Use E-Mail “Cold Calls” Without Falling into the SPAM Trap!
By Ari Galper, Founder of Unlock The Game™

“I always hear people talking about how e-mail is today’s ‘killer app,’” my coaching client Janice told me when we were discussing ways of making contact with prospects.

“But I’m afraid that people will think I’m spamming them if I try to e-mail them when we haven’t met yet. I know I hate spam with a vengeance!“

“You’re not the only one,” I told her. “Spammers have just about destroyed e-mail as a legitimate selling tool, but there are still ways you can use it to open communication rather than shutting it down right off the bat. E-mail is still a totally appropriate way of communicating with someone — as long as you use language that doesn’t trigger the “salesperson” stereotype.”

First, we’ll take a close look at one example of a “cold introduction” e-mail that uses the traditional sales mindset.

Then we’ll apply the Unlock The Game™ mindset so you can get an idea of how to create e-mails that won’t trigger the negative “salesperson,” or even “spamming salesperson,” stereotype.

This e-mail is a real example that one of my coaching clients sent to me for comments and suggestions:

TYPICAL FIRST EMAIL:

Dear John,

My name is Michael Johnson and I am with XYZ company. We are the leading provider in back-office operations software with many clients such as XXX, YYY, ZZZ.

I’m writing you to see if you or your company would be interested in a demonstration of our software. It would be a brief 15- to 30-minute demonstration that we could do at your convenience.

Our website, dogandponyshow.com, lists many testimonials from customers that describe how we have improved their productivity, as well as complete details about our products and services.

I’ll give you a call later in the week to see if we can set up a time for the demonstration.

Sincerely,
Michael Johnson
Productivity Consultant
XYZ Software
Does this “cold e-mail” sound familiar?

On the surface, it looks innocent enough, but take a moment and ask yourself what your instant reaction would be if it arrived in your e-mail box.

The problem is that this message violates the core principles of the Unlock The Game™ mindset by creating the impression that the sender’s only concern is making a sale. How?

Let’s look at it sentence by sentence:

Dear John,

My name is Michael Johnson, and I am with XYZ company. (Starting a conversation without asking a question can be perceived as an intrusion. Also, starting out with “My” and using “I” immediately focuses the conversation on you, not on your prospect.)

We are the leading provider in back-office operations software with many clients such as XXX, YYY, ZZZ. (This sentence is a mini-presentation designed to show off your client list. The writer is assuming that the prospect is already interested in the sender’s software. He’s also assuming that the prospect has a problem to be solved and that his company’s product can solve it.)

I’m writing you to see if you or your company would be interested in a demonstration of our software. It would be a brief 15- to 30-minute demonstration that we could do at your convenience. (Offering to demonstrate a solution without first determining any problem is likely to set off negative sales alarms.)

Our website, dogandponyshow.com, lists many testimonials from customers that describe how we have improved their productivity, as well as complete details about our products and services. (This paragraph continues the barrage of information, all based on the assumption that the reader is interested. If he isn’t, however, this writer has come across as a typical “salesperson.” He has communicated that he and his company are aggressive and interested only in the sale, rather than in taking the time to build trust and get to know the issues and problems that face potential customers.)

I’ll give you a call later in the week to see if we can set up a time for the demonstration. (This is the usual “assumptive” close used by most traditional salespeople. However, it only reinforces that this e-mail is an obvious attempt to get an appointment so the sender can make a sale, rather than opening communication so the sender can understand the reader’s world. )

Sincerely, ( This is the traditional cold and aloof closing.)

Michael Johnson
Productivity Consultant
XYZ Software

My comments (in bold) zero in on the specific wording and phrases that feed the negative sales stereotype and give the impression that the writer cares only about the sale.

The problem is — even if your intentions are honest and sincere, e-mails like this are more likely to burn bridges than to build trust.

There is a better way.

Here’s the same e-mail, but rewritten from the Unlock The Game™ mindset.

My comments show the reasons behind the phrases and why they both reduce potential sales tension and increase the chances of a favorable response.
NEW, WARMER EMAIL

Dear John,

Not sure if you can help me, but thought you could possibly point me in the right direction. (By starting off from a position of humility rather than with the typical assumptive introduction, and by asking for help, this e-mail gives the reader a chance to either tell the sender that he has reached the right person or to refer him on to someone else. )

Would you happen to know who in your organization would be responsible for diagnosing and solving productivity issues related to your technology infrastructure — specifically, underperforming servers, outdated software upgrades, or out-of-date computer hardware? (Rather than offering solutions, the writer is addressing very some real problems and issues that may exist in the reader’s company. In other words, the e-mail is about the receiver, not the sender. Also, the writer doesn’t mention any demonstration because problems must always come first, and the solutions later. )

I’m with XYZ company, and we specifically help companies solve these types of issues. ( This reinforces that the writer’s company solves problems.)

Any help you could provide would be very graciously appreciated. ( This statement expresses the warmth of the writer’s gratitude in advance.)

Warmest regards, (The warmth of this closing humanizes the whole communication. )

Michael Johnson
Productivity Consultant
XYZ Software

How do you think you would react if you received this e-mail?

Perhaps you would give a sigh of relief because you wouldn’t be feeling any sales pressure from this stranger you’ve never met.
This example shows that, even though e-mail is basically an impersonal one-way form of communicating, the Unlock The Game™ mindset can humanize the connection.

When you give prospects a chance to respond to your request for help, you increase the possibilities for two-way communication and trust-building.

“Always pay attention to how words and phrases that are typical of the traditional selling mindset can make you come across as a spammer,” I told Janice.

You might want to start reviewing your e-mails to prospects.

Does your message focus on discussing you and your solution, instead of your prospects’ issues or problems?

If you start to rethink and change your language, you may find yourself with more sales than you thought possible.

The basic principle is simple: Avoid self-sabotaging sales language.

A few weeks later, Janice reported back to me that she had been getting much more favorable responses, leading to more phone conversations with new prospects.

Try it yourself — and do let me know how it goes.

If you’d like get cool posts like this in your inbox every few days CLICK HERE to subscribe to my blog and you’ll also get a free copy of my fancy new ebook “Marketing for Hippies” when it’s done.

| Categories: marketing tactics, Sales - Tags: authenticity, empathy, pressure free, relevance, safety

7 Ways to Sell and Retain Your Integrity

By: Tad | Published: September 22, 2010 · 1 Comment

11ari 7 Ways to Sell and Retain Your Integrity Ari Galper is one of the people I respect most in the world of sales. I’ve rarely seen anyone address the conversation about integrity in selling more directly and head on and . . . with more integrity. Here’s a great article from him about sales.

7 Ways to Sell and Retain Your Integrity
by Ari Galper, Founder, Unlock The Game™

Making more sales while retaining your integrity — is it possible to do both?

Based on e-mails I continue to receive daily, the answer is a resounding “yes.” People are telling me that they have expanded their view of “selling” and experienced better sales results after adopting the Unlock The Game™ mindset.

Eliminating traditional sales thinking and tactics does take effort, though, because the messages of the sales “gurus” you’ve read over the years can continue to bubble up in your mind, especially when you’re in the sales process.
Despite your good-hearted intentions of helping others with your service or product, do these traditional “sales tips” still pop up in your mind?

Focus on “closing” the sale and it will happen

When you feel rejected, brush it off and get ready for more

If a potential client says “no,” it’s your job to turn it into a “yes”

When a potential client challenges your product or service, just sell harder

These ideas reinforce the traditional sales message that your only focus should be on pursuing the end goal of making the “sale,” regardless of the personal toll it might take on you and your potential client.

It is possible to sell without compromising your integrity. Here are seven suggestions:

Focus on the getting to the “truth” of your potential client’s situation. You may or may not be a fit for each other, so focusing on the end goal of making the sale only derails the trust-building process. Without trust, you compromise integrity.

Eliminate rejection once and for all by setting realistic expectations and avoiding traditional sales behaviors such as defensiveness, persuasion, and over-confidence. If you’re not trying to sell, you can’t be rejected.

Stop “chasing” potential clients who have no intention of buying. How can you do this? Shift your mindset and boost your truth-seeking skills so that you can quickly, yet graciously, discern whether the two of you are a potential “fit” or not.

Avoid calling people “prospects” or even thinking about them that way. People are people, and when you label them in your language or your thoughts, you dehumanize them and the sales process. “Prospect” reinforces the notion that sales is only a “numbers game.” Train yourself to think about “potential clients” instead.

Take the “cold” out of your cold calling. Don’t start with “Hi, my name is… I’m with… We do…”. When you begin a conversation by making it about you, instead of about the other person, you immediately cut off the possibility of opening a dialogue. Try the more humble approach of asking “Maybe you can help me out for a second,” and keep in mind that you’re really calling to help them solve their problems.

Don’t try to “overcome” objections. Instead, determine whether the objection is the client’s truth or not. Then you can decide whether to continue to open the conversation.

Avoid using “I” or “We” in your e-mail communications to potential clients. These words indicate that the focus of your communication is on satisfying your needs rather than solving their problems. This sets the wrong tone for a potential relationship.

This recent e-mail from Pat, who has shifted to the Unlock The Game™ mindset, sums it up quite well:

“My sales have doubled for one simple yet powerful reason: my mindset has been expanded, giving me new skills that I never could have imagined. What’s happening is that potential clients now trust me at a deeper level than they ever have, and this has resulted in more sales and, even better, more referrals.”

If you’d like get cool posts like this in your inbox every few days CLICK HERE to subscribe to my blog and you’ll also get a free copy of my fancy new ebook “Marketing for Hippies” when it’s done.

| Categories: Sales - Tags: authenticity, building trust, pressure free, real, safety

The Monkey Trap: Why we can’t let go of the sale.

By: Tad | Published: September 22, 2010 · 2 Comments

Why we can’t seem to let go of the sale?

A few years ago, I learned that the national park rangers of Africa have devised a unique way of catching monkeys.

Frequently the rangers will need to capture a monkey to tag them or administer some kind of medicine. In an effort not to harm the monkeys with guns and darts, the rangers have come up with something they call the banana method. They take a fairly large and heavy Plexiglas box and drill a small hole in the side of it, a hole just big enough for the monkey to get its hand through.

Inside the box they place a banana (or a nut or some rice). Inevitably the monkey will see the banana through the Plexiglas and come down from the tree to get it. A similar southeast Asian monkey trap is constructed from a hollow gourd with a single opening just large enough for the monkey’s hand to grasp the tempting bait of fruit.

It is easy enough to get its hand in and grab hold of the banana, but once the monkey makes a fist with the banana in it, there is no way for it to pull it’s hand back out.

So it’s stuck.

That is as long as it refuses to let go of the banana.

But for some reason, having to do with complex issues of adaptation and instinct, monkeys – virtually every single one of them – have a terrible time letting go. Freedom is right there for the taking if only they let loose their grip. But they don’t. A part of them holds on for dear life.

A part of them remains stuck.

And it’s important to remember that it’s not their whole being stuck in the cage, only their fist, only one small part of them. But that one small part, because it is unable to let go, becomes a great weight to the monkey, basically holding the rest of the monkey and its life hostage.

And we’re a bit like that sometimes.

Even though logically and intellectually we know we must “let go of the sale” (or argument) we don’t.

You see, intellectually, ‘letting go of the sale’ makes good sense. We apply it without problems on a good day. But what happens when you feel your survival threatened?

You’re not making quota

You’re close to broken can’t pay the rent or the mortgage

We know you could be fired

You’re about to lose a sale to a competitor

You may never see this person again! This is your only chance!

In these situations we get scared. We get stressed. We get into fear and we revert to old patterns. We do one of three things. We . . .

Fight: We get scared fight we push

Flight – we stop. We leave the meeting. Were so afraid of pushing

Fright were mostly shut down. We go blank

A friend of mine has a grandmother who would revert to Yiddish when she got angry. When flustered she went back to what was most familiar – her mother tongue. We do the same unless we prepare for the situations. Unless we have tools to use in those moments. Unless we know the exact words to say. Creation begins with imitation. Unless the principles have gone that deep within us. It’s good to get help on how we can approach these things differently. I’ll be writing more about this in other posts so keep your eyes open.

How do you deal with this? How do you practice letting go in those moments?

| Categories: Sales - Tags: building trust, pressure free, safety

The Ten Levels of Resolving Sales Pressure

By: Tad | Published: September 22, 2010 · Leave a Comment

1. You realize that something isn’t right. You’re doing what the sales trainer said to do, you’re following your bosses’ system… but something feels “off” and you can’t quite place what it is. Almost every salesperson in the world is at this level.

2. You realize you are being lied to in code. You start to realize that your leads and prospects are often getting rid of you with half truths like “Send me more information.” or “Sounds great. Let me take it from here.” Or “Call me back anytime on Friday.”

3. You realize that they lied to you because they felt pressured. This is a more profound realization than it may seem to be. Most sales training gives us the impression that prospects are merely being “resistant”, “difficult”, “stubborn”, “dishonest” or “lazy”. They are simply giving us “objections”. But what’s not mentioned is why they are doing these things. We’re told that they are trying to push us away – but the truth is they are pushing back against the pressure they are perceiving or afraid to get from us. This realization is the heart of UTG. This understanding explains so much of the prospects behaviour that, until now, has simply seemed “difficult”.

4. You realize that you were the cause of that pressure. If you are at this level – you’ve likely listened to at least some of the UTG material but you haven’t actually committed yourself to learning or applying it. But you are now starting to see your own role in it.

5. You begin to catch yourself pressuring people and you immediately correct it. In first phases of level 5 you are shocked at how much you are using pressure on prospects to get the sale. But you are now noticing it as it happens and stopping it. This catches them entirely off-guard. After all, every other sales-person pushes harder at those moments. But you are backing off. You are immediately rewarded with a sense of relief from them – and more honesty.

6. You become masterful at diffusing pressure when it arises. At this point, you almost feel excited when a client starts feeling pressured – because you know how to handle it. It no longer phases you if a client gets triggered or starts to misinterpret your actions based on painful past experiences. You feel unflappable. This makes you far more attractive.

7. You become masterful at creating spaces where pressure very rarely arises in the first place. You realize that so much of the pressure comes from them seeing you as a salesperson. At this level – you become incredibly creative at looking at what you do before and after the “sales conversations” you have with your prospects and removing any pressure from those aspects as well.

8. You begin to question the entire notion of “pressuring people” to do things -- and now you include yourself amongst the people you are no longer willing to pressure. You likely find yourself more relaxed. At this point, you are likely beginning to notice all the ways that you’re no longer pressuring your friends or family – and you notice how much happier they are to be around you. You feel more at ease – more comfortable in your own skin.

9. You do all of the above and you catch pressure arising within yourself and diffuse it there first - you notice that you’re getting almost no pressure from outside. When you first approach this level, you begin to feel appalled at yourself – you can barely believe all of the ways you are pressuring yourself to get the sale. You realize that this underlying desperation has been the root of your problem all the time. You see how much of your sales work has been controlled by fear.

10. You cease to even feel pressure inside. It’s no longer a conscious effort. It’s who you are. You feel zero fear about making cold calls or approaching people about your business. You become a pressure free zone. You feel really at ease in your skin now. You feel excited about every conversation because you know that your agenda isn’t to sell anything, it isn’t to make them like you, it’s to get to the truth.

| Categories: quality of life, Sales - Tags: authenticity, building trust, pressure free, safety

The Real Goal in Sales

By: Tad | Published: September 22, 2010 · 3 Comments

What is your real goal when selling?

What would be a ‘bullseye’ for you?

One of the biggest challenges that people have when trying to shift their relationship to selling is the fear that, “If I let go of the sales focus and instead focus just on serving my client, then they may take advantage of me.”

And, actually, there is some real justification to that concern. I know many people who allow themselves to be taken advantage of; but, that’s NOT what I’m suggesting you do.

I would suggest that there are really three places you can put your focus:

1) On the sale - From this focus you create pressure which leads to rejection and pain for both parties. It dehumanizes the process. You might make sales but it feels wrong. You don’t respect them. You are putting an obligation on them.

2) On your prospective client liking you – You give away the store. You are taken advantage of. This is also a dehumazing process. It’s the flip side of focusing on the sale. You make sales, but not much profit. You don’t respect yourself. You are obligating yourself.

Notice which of those options you tend to choose . . .

This sense of polarity is actually very common. At one extreme you’re so service-oriented that your taken advantage of. If you shift to the other extreme, you are as aggressive as possible to protect yourself. It’s like protection mechanism. Either way, you’re afraid that you’ll be taken advantage of. Either way, you’re coming from fear. Either way, you’re being reactive. Either way, someone loses.

“When you win, you lose.” – St. Francis of Assisi

Clearly, neither of these are particularly appealing. So, what can you do?

Most people think of selling as one of these two extremes. And they don’t feel comfortable with either one. So, they go for something in the middle.

But, that often means they manipulate and push people a little less and give away a little less of their margin.

In the compromise scenario: 1+1 = 1.5

There’s no synergy. That’s why the circle is smaller.

And it doesn’t feel good. That’s why it’s black and hanging down lower – it’s heavy. It’s the worst of both worlds.

What I’m suggesting is not some tepid middle ground that leaves both parties only vaguely satisfied and slightly resentful.

I’m suggesting there’s actually a higher road to take. I’m suggesting there’s another way that is greater than a compromise of the two polarities.

It’s a focus on the truth.

Focusing On The Truth Of The Other Person’s Situation (And Yours While We’re At It):

When you focus on the truth something wonderful happens: everyone wins.

There’s synergy. Instead of being stuck in between two unappealing options – this shines above them both like the sun warming both you and the person you’re connecting with.

In this scenario 1+1 = can be more than two because of the synergy. It’s not logical but it’s the reality what collaboration does. You’ve probably experienced the power of cooperation. The whole, somehow, ends up being greater than the sum of its parts.

In order to take this higher road, you need to let go of your attachment to either extreme. You must let go of your need for the sale and your need for them to like you. You might get the sale – you might not. Let go of the need for friendship. If you don’t become friends at least you were human with each other.

When you focus on the truth instead of trying to “close the sale” you “open a conversation.” Instead of putting the weight of obligation on their shoulders you share and explore opportunities. It feels more natural.

“Being overly concerned with the reward will never enhance the outcome of our work, but instead will interfere with your performance. When Archer’s eyes on the prize rather than the bull’s-eye, he surely will miss the bull’s-eye as well as the prize.” — Chin-Ning Chu

Playing “The Game” creates compromise.

Having a Conversation produces cooperation. It’s not a compromise in the middle. It’s a higher ground to stand on. It’s a higher road to take. It rises you above the game. It positions you far above the competition.

This is win/win or no deal. It gives you a new found freedom to simply walk away if the truth is that you can’t help them.

You really won’t be taken advantage of – that would be lose/win. You’ll tell the truth about your capacity. If you can’t solve their problem you’ll tell them so. Imagine that. Your experience is part of the truth of the situation.

You’re not giving anything away for free (unless your truth is that you want to).

So, to summarize: There are really two aspects of the truth in any selling situation. And it’s important that you put them in the right order — especially in the first few minutes of your conversation:

1) First, focus on the truth about their situation. Always lead with this. That is the gracious (and effective) thing to do. Always lead with a focus on their problems and their worlds in their language. Do they have a problem? Do they want to solve it? The more you can shift away from any notion of greed, selfishness or neediness and focus totally on the truth about the other person’s situation, the more successful you will be. Then, if the truth of your situation is that you can’t help them – if it’s not a match – you easily let it go. If it seems that it is a match then you explore that by…

2) Secondly sharing the truth about your situation. Your situation includes the problems you can solve for them, your capacity, what you can’t do, etc.

Remember: see first to understand and then to be understood.

In practice, it’s not quite so straightforward. It’s not like ladder or a set of stairs that you follow in a linear progression. The conversation is going to be more like a spiral always circling inwards until it reaches the center — the truth. The problem with most sales training is that it doesn’t understand the actual dynamics of conversation. It’s going to be more of a back and forth.

Having said that, again, always lead with the truth about their situation.

And, the truth is, it often won’t be a match. But, that’s a good thing. The sooner you know the truth about the situation — the sooner you can move on to somebody else , who you might be able to help.

Kenny Rogers summed it up perfectly in his song ‘The Gambler’ when he sang: “You’ve got two know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away, know when to run.”

If we’re to focus on people liking us, we tend to think that the solution is to just “back off”. But, it’s important to notice where that comes from — it comes from the fear of pressuring people.

But, shouldn’t you be afraid of pressuring people? No.

You probably need more fear and stress in your life like need another hole in your head. So, here’s an interesting set of distinctions for you to sit with

“Fear of Pressure” Versus “Awareness of Pressure”: The fear of pressure will immobilize you and make you feel powerless. It will cause you to become tense and stressed out in sales situations. That will make you less human and harder to connect with. It will also stop you from being present , because you’ll be entirely focused on what you don’t want. An awareness of pressure is simply that — it’s noticing it. It’s being conscious of what creates it and how to diffuse it when it comes up. It’s the acknowledgement that pressure is inherently going to be there. In fact, in some cases, there’s really nothing you can do about it being there when you show up — but if you have and awareness of it, you can address it head-on.

“Fear of Pressure” Versus “An Interest in the Truth”: A fear of pressure might stop you from asking important questions. A gentle interest in the truth of will cause people to feel heard, respected and keep you focused on what you want — not what you don’t want.

Three Presuppositions Will Help You With Your Focus On The Truth:

1. The truth is always present: We are often confused about how we lost a sale right at the end of the process. We are shocked and hurt when we discover our prospects have been lying to us or using us to ‘get information’. It seems this new information showed up all of a sudden at the end. But, in reality, that information was there all along.

This seems obvious.

But if it was there all long – why can’t we see it? Why do we keep getting surprised by something that was already there? Because it was hidden behind a very thin, but impenetrable veil known as “The Game”. And this Game is the source of virtually all your pain in selling. The Game operates by hovering one level above the truth. You may not be able to see it — but it’s there. You will never see it while you are in The Game.

It’s like the movie The Matrix. While you’re in The Matrix – you can’t see the real world. The Matrix seems so real. It’s so convincing. You’d think you were getting real information.

So, what starts this Game? And, more importantly, how do you get out of it?

2. Pressure starts The Game: The Game starts the second that the other person perceives or experiences pressure being applied. And they will experience pressure in the same instant you decide to focus on “the sale”. You end this Game by:

A focus on the truth.
Becoming aware of your own pressuring behavior.
Practicing the art of constantly diffusing pressure.
Trusting your intuition on whether they are speaking the truth or not.

3. The truth is enough: This is an important distinction. The truth is all you need. In fact, the truth is all you’ve got in the end. It’s the only thing that’s real in your conversation. Everything else is pretense or defense. If you decide to play The Game you lose sales, get rejected and sometimes feel miserable. You waste time chasing people.

You don’t need fancy closing techniques. You really don’t.

| Categories: Sales - Tags: authenticity, building trust, empathy, pressure free, safety

Being Present in Sales

By: Tad | Published: September 22, 2010 · Leave a Comment

When you begin to live more in the present, you understand that you really can’t see the future — and that makes you a lot more human. Instead of focusing on selling people you find yourself enjoying them. You also stop investing time on people and projects that might have potential but no real prospects.

The critical shift to make is to become more interested in the present than you are in the future. You can do this when you understand that a well-lived present automatically creates a fulfilling future. The present moment is an excellent teacher; the future is just a seducer.

“By being aware of what is happening, I begin to sense how it is happening. I begin to sense Tao … the wise leader knows it is far more important to be content with what is actually happening and to get upset over what might be happening but isn’t… been unconscious is not a crime; it is merely a lack of a very helpful ability.” - Tao of Leadership

In sales, it’s never about moving things forwards. In fact, sometimes, you need to move things backwards. Why? To get present with the prospective client. You must never be further ahead than them.

“The Supreme value is not the future but the present. Whoever build a house for future happiness builds a prison for the present.”- Octavio Paz

Why not?

Well, especially in the beginning, you are walking on their road on their path — and you can’t guess where that will go — they will need to lead you. As your relationship develops, you will be creating the road together to help them get from where they are to where they want to go. But you can’t create the road together, if you’re 2 miles ahead of them. Make sense?

Traditional sales training teaches us to always be a few steps ahead of the prospect.

This is one of the core problems with the old way of selling. Additionally, people who are trained in these methodologies quickly get overwhelmed with the amount of tools and techniques — they feel like they have to use them all. They feel like, if they aren’t using them all, perfectly, in each sales situation they are somehow failing. It fosters a bizarre sort of perfectionism that really hurts the person-to-person interaction.

It is hard to be real and authentic when most of your brain was trying to remember what exact line to say next. Instead of focusing on the world of the person, you are quietly thinking to yourself, “Okay, what step am I on? What tool/close/technique/line should I use right now?”

That’s what I mean about trying to stay ahead of them.

It’s very difficult to be aware of what’s really happening around you when you’re busy striving for some goal. Many salespeople are living on adrenaline. That adrenaline overstimulates and desensitizes them to what they’re feeling in the present.

“Marta keeps telling me I should try to be more aware of things as they’re happening. I think it’s Marta who says that.” – Jack Handey

If you’d like get cool posts like this in your inbox every few days CLICK HERE to subscribe to my blog and you’ll also get a free copy of my fancy new ebook “Marketing for Hippies” when it’s done.

| Categories: Sales - Tags: authenticity, pressure free, safety

Truth in Sales

By: Tad | Published: September 22, 2010 · 2 Comments

The words ‘selling’ and ‘truth’ don’t often go together.

Because selling is almost always about ‘getting the sale’ instead of ‘uncovering the truth’. And that’s what I want to talk about here. Uncovering the truth.

Truth of things either being a good fit or not.

The Finest Music In Of the World

In Celtic mythology, there lives a band of warriors known as the Fianna. They were the most noble, powerful and fierce defenders of Ireland. It was an extensive and harrowing process to become a member of this group. The leader of this band was Fionn Mac Cumhaill [pronounced: Finn MacCool].

Once Fionn, and his hunters were discussing the “finest music in the world.” The question was put out to the group as a riddle, “what is the finest music in the world?” The hunters began to give their answers. One said it was the sound of a stag running across the lake. Another disagreed , saying it was the sound of raindrops falling onto leaves. Another suggested it was the laughter of a young girl. The sound of dogs yelping thing during the chase, wind in the grass or water falling over stone. Each hunter seemed to have a strong opinion.

Then one hunter turned to Fionn and asked him, “And what do you think is the finest music in the world?”

He replied, “The finest music in all the world is the music of what is happening.”

You might find it useful to let go of trying to persuade people and simply focus on listening for and exploring the truth.

After all, when you finally reach the truth of the situation — that’s all there is. What else can there be? The truth is much more real and compelling — and far more powerful — than any manufactured “closing tool”.

Think about it.

If the truth is that they only have so much money — that’s the truth. They really don’t have more money. They don’t have less money than that. They just have the amount they said. Your “Closing Techniques” won’t put one more cent in their wallet. You need to deal with that. You need to work with that. It doesn’t mean they won’t buy. It doesn’t mean you can’t help them. It just helps you define the territory so you can navigate it more skillfully.

You may even find a way to still be able to help them given the reality of their budget.

But, it’s very expensive and misery-making to try and argue with reality.

Whenever there’s a problem with the client always go back to the truth. First, take a deep breath, let go of any attachment you have to them buying your product or service and let go of any agenda you have to move them forward in the process. Get centered. Get curious. Open yourself up to whenever possibility emerges, and then engage in a conversation with them that helps reveal the truth of the situation.

Always go back to the truth.

Sales Tools, Technologies and Skills:

It would be a huge mistake to label all of the existing sales tools and methodologies as bad or “wrong”. They aren’t. They are sometimes inherently manipulative, often unnecessary, frequently overwhelming and, almost always, simply overused.

You can use elaborate tools and systems like Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) with tools like matching and mirroring, or making sure that you’re speaking on someone’s leading representational system [whether that be visual, auditory or kinesthetic]. You can elicit people’s metaprograms. You can learn how to put people in subtle trances to make them more open to your influence.

You can spend a great deal of time learning various personality typing systems. You can learn how to, within a short period of time put people into a box based on your perception of their lifestyle choices [such as the Values And Lifestyle Survey – (VALS)] or their personality [e.g. the DISC model].

You can learn a lot of elaborate influence skills and “power-persuasion” techniques.

You can do a lot of things.

But, what I’m going to suggest is that all of these skills are entirely secondary [and that some should be dismissed with great force].

Make your first and last priority — getting to the truth.

If you spend too much time learning complicated communication strategies, and trying to memorize the precise sequence and ordering of your sales process — it will prevent you from being present with your clients and prospects. Your body will be there, but your mind will be “nearby” if you catch my drift. And people feel that.

Prospects and clients are much more intuitive than we give them credit for. They can feel it when they’re being manipulated and pushed around.

Of course this is precisely what many techniques were invented to counter. They saw that overt disagreement and confrontation didn’t work, so they became more subtle. In the “old sales,” there’s lots of talk about “never argue” or “never directly challenged the prospects belief”. They talk of using aikido style communication. First you align and then you redirect. You try to be graceful. But, here is the key question that never gets asked.

Graceful at what?

Graceful at moving your client forward towards a sale.

And what always happens when you try to move someone — no matter how gracefully or subtly — towards a sale? And that is precisely what creates pressure and resistance in the first place.

Let go of the sale and focus on the truth of ‘is this a fit?’

It is or it isn’t.

| Categories: Sales - Tags: authenticity, building trust, pressure free, real, safety